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Why am I always shut out?


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This is mostly a rant but I've noticed a very common thing amongst those not depressed. Whenever I try to talk to anyone I know, friend or family, they are only concerned about how they feel.

 No one wants to listen to me vent or let off some steam about things that bother me because it "dampens their mood" or "ruins their day". I'm so sick of this answer when I feel down and I rarely vent to begin with. Whenever anyone I care for needs a vent, I listen, show empathy, and try to make them feel happy. When it's me, they could care less since it doesn't involve them or how they feel. It's not a me, me, me conversation. It involves someone other than themselves, therefore, it isn't something they want to be involved in.

i have a hard time understanding this crazy selfishness. No wonder those of us with depression feel the way we do. I finally get it and now feel like a burden to the world. They'd all be much happier without depressed people to "ruin their day".

From this day on, it might benefit me to not have feelings toward anyone. At the end of the day, it's all about them. Even after you've offered your kindness. Maybe I should finally make everything all about me. Maybe I'd feel better that way.

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Well it's true and you said it yourself that no one wants to listen to depressing things. "From this day on, it might benefit me to not have feelings toward anyone. At the end of the day, it's all about them." Don't shut every person in the world out, how are you to grow as a person? How will you met the last person you will ever want to met? Believe it or not there are people in this world that once they get to know you they care more about you and your life then there own life. I am one of those people I have bent over backwards to try and help people worry about them care for them be there when they need something sometimes even at my own finance. At the end of the day I can't change it I just care about others well being more then my own. Then when you need someone the most they turn their head and walk away, it hurts I know. You need to just find that one person who cares for you. If you need someone to vent to or rant to I will listen to you and what you have to say. Z

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I think there are a couple reasons to why that may be the situation.  Myself personally, I wouldn't try to vent things I'm depressed just because I've accustomed myself to that. Basically what I'm saying is that I haven't personally experienced it but I have a hunch why they may feel that way.

First off, I think it's unfair to say the people in your life are unconcerned with your thoughts.  I believe it to be more of a lack of understanding. You mentioned that when you try to let off steam about things that bother you that they don't want to hear and they say things like it "dampens their mood".  However you also mentioned the key difference between them and us, and it's the fact that we are depressed.

I wish I knew more details about what bothers you because then I can get a better understanding of what you want to convey, but from my viewpoint it seems like your bringing up things that appear to be bleak and unchangeable.  For a person like me, this is something I can relate to a lot as I've experienced many of those feelings (once again I'm assuming of course).  But for most people focusing on the future and the positives are what keep them going. Unchangeable facts like that don't bother them as much because it is what is, unchangeable, and they realize they have to move on in order to live their lives.

I guess what I can say now is that if the thoughts are more related to you personally, try and get to the core reasons why they upset you.  I know it can be hard to do, but for lack of better phrasing frame it in a way that's more attuned to those who aren't depressed so that they connect more to it.  Hopefully rather than them brushing it off all the time, they'll be more likely to empathize with you more.  But hey if they don't come around, you always have the people here to message and that hand extends from me as well so let me know if you need someone to talk to.

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Everyone has emotional baggage. Because humans are naturally selfish, most people don't want to carry yours as well as theirs. Because I have very little social aptitude, I find getting people to talk to me at all a challenge. There are so many subtle hints and nonverbal messages that I don't know how to identify or convey. I think from a non-depressed point of view, depressives seem extremely insensitive and uncaring. Perhaps the people you are calling selfish see you as selfish. Connecting with people is tremendously difficult, and all I can suggest is continuing to contact people until you finally find someone openminded and patient enough to be your friend.

I've yet to find any such person. Introversion, social anxiety, and depression combine to make me a Martian when dealing with people. Does anyone else feel this way?

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