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Moving on.. ?(Hope someone reads and can help)


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So, I'm pretty much done for this year. So much has happened and I feel like I'm at my breaking point..I've reached it many times, where I've had to be talked down. I lost both grandmothers not even a month apart, my grades have been slacking, of course my mood, my ability to try and do anything,prom and graduation is near...and soon freshman year of college will be too. I know I probably shouldn't be crying or upset about this but..I really am. My long distance boyfriend and I have broken up in late April after a fight we had. He always promised to never break up over this and he would help me...then he claimed he "wants me to get better and then we could get back together and work on us". Right. So basically, I've been trying to do that and he would continuously switch things up on me. We have anther long distance friend...well she's not his friend anymore. They would talk but then stopped because of me. With everything that's been happening, especially being bullied at school all the time and critiqued at home at times, I've gotten worse and worse and it has affected my relationship with him. Then again, even before that he's done stuff to me that I couldn't necessarily forget. I told him my insecurities before, and one time when we were joking, it got serious and he threw all of them in my face and used them against me...and at one point, some guys would like take my stuff and run (elementary crap right?) and I told him because I felt I should be honest with him...and he told me to leave him alone and called me stupid. That wasn't near the end of our relationship but it surely wasn't the beginning. I also suffer from Pure O and a lack of self confidence due to many heart breaks and being bullied constantly (by guys. Girls rarely give me problems. Sorry if this is all over the place btw). Anyways, recently we haven't been talking and yes, I've been crying about him..a lot..maybe too much than I should've. Me and my friend got into an argument and he came to her rescue, messaging me saying I needed to apologize...why message me at all? Four days ago, I broke. I wanted to **** myself because no matter what I do, people get mad at me and want to hurt me. Then both of them came back to stop me and console me. Then...he told me all of this stuff. From "I love you" to "You're important to me" and a bunch of stuff. Saying he didn't want to get back together because he feared he would end up making the same mistake and hurt me again. Saying he loved me but he wouldn't put me in that position again...and after being in love with each other..knowing I still had strong feelings for him...he offered to be my best friend....yes, a "bestie". Begged me to stay in his life and be his best friend..but you don't go from first class to second class and expect things to be the same. I said no. I told him how that would affect me. It would torment me even. He understood. Four hours. I felt as though there was nothing to prove. He said he never said he was moving on. Everything confused me. When my friend tried talking to him about it..he said he didn't want to talk about it. He wanted to forget it. Today, he threatened to cut her off because she even believes that he took an opportunity to hurt me when I was at my lowest. Two days ago, I broke again, but my friends helped me. It wasn't just about him though, it was everything. However, from what he was telling me..it really broke me because I care. I do love him. So today my friend tried to get answered on why he even started that or what he meant by any of that. Didn't want to talk about it. Threatened to block her. He did so much to me...just to hurt me. For what? This always happens with me and guys..and I could never understand why. I don't let them walk all over me but I do tend to love hard when I fall. He told her he was invited on a trip with this girl and her family by her mother...and he's going. I spent two hours literally crying because how can you move on so..quick? I never tried to hurt him. If anything, I tried to get better to FEEL better and also make the relationship WORK...having so much to deal with and he knew that...but now I know he did it to hurt me. I just honestly don't understand...why. Or why it happened to me..but I need to move on, but I don't know how..any ideas please? It really hard not to cry about the situation and him, especially because I'm really sensitive. This type of thing keeps happening. I don't understand...thank you. Also, this guy said I'm "obsessed" with him..merely because I'm in love with him like he was with me...obsession and love are two different things. I think I might have boosted his ego too much..

Edited by StormyGirl436
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After getting that all out how do you feel? Better? Worse? You should focus on you not him forget him, what he did sounds like he's a jerk, but I don't know him you do. Let's make you number one you need to find something stable in your life, find your rock. Your life is worth living, don't  end it because of some guy. Even if you thought he was going to be the last one you would ever date, he's not worth it. You will be that special someone to someone just give it time. (Damn I really should listen to music own advice)

 I have found long distance relationships to be more stressful, then the traditional ones. But they can and do work, I have seen them work. I have seen make it three years with 2,000 miles in between, and now they have been married for fives now and counting. So don't let any one say they can't, because they can they take a little more work. 

You will be ok. If you need someone to talk to or just listen to you, I will be here or over there next to that tree. If you can't find me there then look on the couch I will be napping. (I hope that made you smile, if it did then my plan worked preemptive yes.)

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Hey Stormy, I feel what you're going through...I went through a similar situation a few months ago.

In my opinion, you need to break things off with these people, like, a clean, complete break. That is how you will move on and in time you will feel better. After reading your post, it's obvious that the drama is destroying you. And also, to me? It sure doesn't seem like he loves you the way you want to be loved....

PM me if you want to, you will have support here. :)

 

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