Feel tired, drained, lazy, and guilty.

[SapphireOwl]

Been dealing with mental difficulties over the past couple years (OCD, depression, anxiety). I've been getting medical and therapeutic help, have a good support system in place, and have been doing better overall. But I still have drastic swings between good and bad days, and I'm currently in one of those "funks". I can never tell the difference if I'm actually physically tired and my body needs to rest, just laze around for a couple days, or (as my brain relentlessly tries to convince me) I'm just unmotivated and need to suck it up and get my butt doing something useful. 
I feel lazy and irresponsible, like I should be a proper adult and carry on. But I just can't summon the energy or motivation for the second day in a row and my brain is driving me insane. 
I recently started a new serving part-time job, so getting used to that, and the "adjustments" it requires of my usual rigid routines. 
How can I get through the next little while without feeling so useless and incapable? I'm just a groggy zombie, and every minor task like showering seems monumental. 

My brain is going nuts, at how I'm straying from my usual patterns and routines, and every tiny thing seems overwhelming. Even deciding between reading or watching something becomes this catastrophic decision and I can't focus on either one.

[bungiefour]

I feel this way almost every evening for the past 2 months.  Around 3pm-5pm I start going into a lethargic, lazy, unmotivated, blue mood.  I have tons to things to do, but I start feeling guilty for all the the things I should have accomplished and didn't.  I start thinking all negative about myself and I want to just sleep, but it's too early to go to bed.  I find it very difficult to motivate myself to do anything but browse the internet.  I hate it!! I have been taking effexor for several years and doing well, but my depression is coming back in the evenings.  And because I get all lazy, etc,, then I get MORE depressed because I go to bed knowing I wasted my evening when I could have been doing productive things. It's a mad cycle. :(  Oh-- and then I think all negative about myself and all the dumb things I said today and how stupid I am and how I am "different" than everyone else. I hate myself in the evenings. Why can't I just be a "balanced" adult?! UGH

Edited June 20, 2016 by bungiefour

[SapphireOwl]

Thanks for sharing. While I'm sorry you're suffering the same type of crap, it's nice to know there's others on my side of the fence as allies as well. Hang in there.

[feeling_lost]

For me feeling like that was definitely a result of falling rather deep in depression. I didn't want to go anywhere.. and starting doing something, either didn't do it at all or it took tremendous effort to get started. But I still felt that I was capable of doing everything - it wasn't about that.. and I guess that thought in turn led to guilt, feeling lazy, unproductive. And in my mind I knew those moments that I should just get started, just do it because it would actually make me feel better.

But now that I think of it, it was more of a general feeling of having lost hope in anything good ahead. Things didn't feel like anything, they didn't matter - and there was no motivation to do them.