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Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum and thought I would introduce myself. I found this website by searching hikikomori (sp?) support in my area, a condition found in Japan for those with extreme social withdrawal.

I struggle with OCD, social anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, likely from the bullying that I experienced in elementary and junior highschool.

I struggle with getting out, only leaving my house in order to visit my healthcare professionals and a volunteer activity that I do once a week. Otherwise I'm home alone watching television, reading, or playing Videogames. I'm by no means different or "odd looking" (other than being a tad overweight), but I have great difficulty meeting people since I really don't get out. The relationships that I do make do not last long and I find my main peer group are older adults looking to mentor me.

Anyway, this looks like a good forum and I look forward to both receiving and providing support. I find it easier to express myself through both writing and art so hopefully through this forum I can find the sense of community that I need.

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I'm so happy to be the first to welcome you to this great community. Many people here understand how you feel, and I'm sure you'll receive wonderful feedback.

Again, welcome!




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Hi foxfire41 :)

What do you do for work? It would probably be good to find a job where you are meeting and talking to a lot of people. In order to develop social skills you simply need to be around people and interact. At times it maybe tough but it will be worth it.

Try and go for walks regularly. It at least gets you out of the house and moving. Going to the gym would be good too, that way you could be around people even if you don't necessarily want to talk with anyone. You could also go to the mall or other public area and walk around where there are people. So I think these suggestions would be a good start so that at least you're getting some movement and not sitting around the house all day. It will also get you used to just having people around you and you don't have to talk to them.

Is there a forum specifically for hikikomori or social withdrawal? Perhaps you could find more targeted help that way. And you could chat with other people with similar situations. 

Doing some guided visualization or imagery would probably be good. Get relaxed, close your eyes and imagine yourself in social settings, see yourself chatting and laughing with a large of people. See yourself at parties or social events and people enjoying your company and you feeling relaxed and having fun. The mind is powerful so you can transform yourself simply by putting your focus on what you want to be and have.

So come up with a goal for what you want and take baby steps. So you can start by imagining yourself talking with people, then you can start chatting with people online, then progress to going outside and just walking, then walking around places where there are people, then just ask someone for directions or a question to start establishing a dialogue, then ask 2 questions, then light conversation, etc. Catch my drift? You don't have to throw yourself in the fire, just start doing things that are easy and you feel comfortable doing.

Hope this helps, there are plenty of people who struggle with this so don't feel bad about it, just put one foot in front of the other and you'll get to where you want to go :)

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Hello! :D

I do think that for you, it would be better if you looked for some societies /clubs/meetups that people your age should join, and it'll definitely help you out if you manage to get to know some people who lived close to you. You guys could hang out, have fun and perhaps even game or relax together. I'm sure that there's plenty of gamer groups around, and there's some gamer girls , gamer parents and all sorts of gamer people around for you. All you need to do is put yourself out there in situations where you'll get to mingle, have fun and enjoy . These positive, helpful memories will definitely enable you to take an important step towards making things better for yourself and putting those awful memories (bullying and the like ) that caused a lot of your OCD, social anxiety and depression. 

Perhaps for you, it'll be better for you to join clubs where the people around you are around the same age, or just slightly older than you- you'll have plenty of cool older brother/sister archetypes for you to hang around with, and it'll also give you plenty more stuffs to look forward to. When there's a will, there's a way.

Keep fighting and try the alternatives that I and DurandalBlue suggested :) It'll definitely help!

We want to be here for you, and we'll be here for you ! 

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Thank you for the support. At this time I do not have a regular job but I occasionally help at my family's business. I'm going to school (online at this time), but hopefully I'm taking an evening class in the fall. It's difficult getting out and I have been toying with the idea that if I "practice" getting out I'll feel less awkward. I'm able to have a conversation but I'm slow to warm to people (definitely an introvert) and if I have any negative reactions, I'm especially sensitive to it (something I need to work on). Today I was able to get out a little, going to a bookstore and my pharmacist. It felt awkward, but better than it has been. My new medication seems to be helping.

Anyway, I'll start to get out more, taking baby steps. Going for a walk, looking for social groups, etc. thank you again.

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I know that you'll be able to improve  :) Don't discount yourself. If some people give you negative reactions, move on and be positive about it. Everyone faces rejection in some way, but it's better for you to keep persisting. The people who're right for you are out there, and they want to get to know you because they'll find that you're a nice person . :)

Keep fighting! 

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As you say, you seem to be in the company of peers who lend out advice instead of befriending you and understanding how you feel. And I sure don't want that to happen here as well. 

I just hope I can make it a bit different by just being your friend and listening to what you have to say. 


The Friend. 

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