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I'm a true failure in Life


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I'm a near middle aged lady who's living a miserable life. Most of my life I've been mistreated. I've been abused, bullied, ridiculed, backstabbed, and rejected. I've never succeed one thing in my life. Never got married, have children, never even experience a romantic relationship. I never even have any close friends all because of my failures. I've become very bitter, hostile, and cold hearted towards others. I get sick of hearing other people talk about their successfull happy lives while I'm drowning in failure and misery. Most of the time I wondered why was I put on this earth, I'm better off dead, I wish I wasn't born. Right now I have no life, no friends, no marriage, no family of my own. It's probably too late for me now.  My life is a big joke This is mostly what I've been treated like and sometimes I think the world is a joke... :sniffle1:   If you look on the bottom of my post, you'll see the pictures I posted that describes what I've been treated like most of my life..
Edited by Tungsten Aromatics
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Welcome to the forum.  This has been a great place for me.  You are not alone.  I have lost everything about four good times now.  I currently have no friends and my family ties aren't anything to brag about.  I have also been betrayed, used and abused, wrongfully persecuted.  Please believe me when I say I can very much relate to some of your feelings.  I would describe my outlook and attitude towards people as cold and decisive.   I choose to fight because I just simply can't let these people that have hurt me so bad, win.  I keep telling myself I will not be a victim anymore.  I keep telling myself that my trials have shown me a deeper side to life.  I keep telling myself if I control today, I can change tomorrow.  I hope you stick around and connect with people on here.  There is a lot of pain out there, but to me, this place is my last line of defense.  Being strong together, sharing our triumphs and our failures together will lead to us to a road that isn't filled with misery and desperation.  If you ever want to talk just shoot me a pm.  Stay strong and take care.  YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!

Edited by glfinding
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I agree with the above post. You are not alone nor are you a failure.

I have learned that we all have deep dark inner turmoil.

People may seem to be happy but there is heartache everywhere.

We are here for you. You can rise from the ashes of your sorrows.

Depression tells us such awful lies about ourselves. We just can't believe the lies.

The fact that you posted a compelling story proves you are not a loser.

Please keep posting and we will help you as best we can.

 

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4 hours ago, BornLoser67 said:
I'm a near middle aged lady who's living a miserable life. Most of my life I've been mistreated. I've been abused, bullied, ridiculed, backstabbed, and rejected. I've never succeed one thing in my life. Never got married, have children, never even experience a romantic relationship. I never even have any close friends all because of my failures. I've become very bitter, hostile, and cold hearted towards others. I get sick of hearing other people talk about their successfull happy lives while I'm drowning in failure and misery. Most of the time I wondered why was I put on this earth, I'm better off dead, I wish I wasn't born. Right now I have no life, no friends, no marriage, no family of my own. It's probably too late for me now.  My life is a big joke This is mostly what I've been treated like and sometimes I think the world is a joke... :sniffle1:   If you look on the bottom of my post, you'll see the pictures I posted that describes what I've been treated like most of my life..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I right there with you...except I'm severely underemployed and am running low on money.

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You never truly fail, ever.... I know that underneath that self-called bitter exterior (I'm pretty sure you're a nice person at heart ) you're someone who cares a lot about others, and wants to make people happy. If your friends left you because of whatever they think you failed at, then you deserve better friends. I suggest that you join some clubs and societies that can allow you to meet new people, and these include charity groups that can help people out... gamer groups, book clubs and everything. There's always a way when there's a will, and I know that you're much better than you think you are. Most of all, you're already not alone.. you've got us, and we got your back no matter what. 

The people who mistreated you are missing out on a very good friend, and they're the ones who should be ashamed because you're a strong, kind person on the inside and they hurt a beautiful, nice person.. that's their loss. 

You can change things if you make the effort to change them. :) Also, if you want someone to talk to... we're here. always. 

You're not alone! 

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you're are sooo not alone! 

ive learned all this is just a game.. all of it, people are fake to other people to themselves, it's a facade, everyone is busy trying to be better than anyone else... and in between the bs there is you, there is us..  where we just  try to be. 

depression is terrible , but it gives us insight bc we over analyze everything and when you see the world, our system for what it is, it makes things worse bc you know and many don't. maybe I have this view bc I worked in a bankruptcy law office..I knew it was all a game when a man drove in and parked his Maserati in front of the office ... he declared bk. see? appearances. and it's more common than you think. 

i also got propositioned by my ex boss at that very office and since then he's had 2 kids.  but he desperately tries to maintain the appearance of perfection with his family. feel bad for the wife. but they're all about appearances. BS is what it all is. 

my point is, there are some people that are genuinely happy there are others that are not.. everyone likes to create the appearance that they have it together but they just go through the motions. at least we are who we are, no bs. it's why we are here bc we can admit we are going through tough times, or that we have a sh*t lot in life. at least we are honest. 

I always compare myself to others, you can't help it. I hate when I do that too. 

i don't know what the right answer is, except that I can tell you you are NOT a loser! 

a loser is a person who pretends to be perfect for the sake of making themselves feel superior. 

Edited by ejc
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1 hour ago, ejc said:

you're are sooo not alone! 

ive learned all this is just a game.. all of it, people are fake to other people to themselves, it's a facade, everyone is busy trying to be better than anyone else... and in between the bs there is you, there is us..  where we just  try to be. 

depression is terrible , but it gives us insight bc we over analyze everything and when you see the world, our system for what it is, it makes things worse bc you know and many don't. maybe I have this view bc I worked in a bankruptcy law office..I knew it was all a game when a man drove in and parked his Maserati in front of the office ... he declared bk. see? appearances. and it's more common than you think. 

i also got propositioned by my ex boss at that very office and since then he's had 2 kids.  but he desperately tries to maintain the appearance of perfection with his family. feel bad for the wife. but they're all about appearances. BS is what it all is. 

my point is, there are some people that are genuinely happy there are others that are not.. everyone likes to create the appearance that they have it together but they just go through the motions. at least we are who we are, no bs. it's why we are here bc we can admit we are going through tough times, or that we have a sh*t lot in life. at least we are honest. 

I always compare myself to others, you can't help it. I hate when I do that too. 

i don't know what the right answer is, except that I can tell you you are NOT a loser! 

a loser is a person who pretends to be perfect for the sake of making themselves feel superior. 

your right on the money

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6 hours ago, scienceguy said:

your right on the money

sadly, some people suck and we're stuck witnessing  that: involuntary spectators  :/

*insert captain pickard meme*

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Welcome to the group, friend. I’m sorry about what you’re going through and I can certainly understand your pain. I really hope you find someone you can trust and share your feelings with. I know a lot of people find it helpful to speak with a counselor. Have you considered getting in touch with one? Should you be interested, Focus on the Family has free licensed counselors that you can call at 1-800-A-FAMILY. A friend of mine found them very caring and encouraging. I just said a prayer for you. I don’t know if you believe in God, but I believe He loves and accepts you completely and unconditionally. I hope you don’t give up, friend. Hang in there!

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Hi BL67 - I have found a lot of comfort on this site, reading and chattering with people who seem to truly understand (or are at least willing to listen) to what I am going through. I hope that you can find the same. Keep posting and I think you will find that there really are some good people to connect with. 

Take care.

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Hi, BL67. I am totally new here so forgive me for jumping in. Your was one of the first posts on the forum that caught my eye, because I resonated with me soooooo much. I feel like I could have written most of it word for word.  I like to think that some of the good things I have done should count for something to make me not such failure. I mean there are ******ers and pedophiles etc. out there so I do wonder why I seem to struggle so much in life? Or where did it all go wrong for me? So yeah, I think I do understand a lot of how you are feeling. I wish I could tell you, that I have a success story, or that I have figured out a way to make everything better....... Unfortunately, no. I still have a life that is a source of deep unhappiness.

However, I did just read an article called: "14 Life Changing Things That Happen When You Travel Alone. (for some reason I can't copy the link, but I think it is from SELF magazine). Anyway, even though it is a travel article, I was able to apply it to just life in general. So I hope it gives you a little perspective on things to help you keep going.

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  • 2 months later...
On ‎5‎/‎2‎/‎2016 at 0:20 AM, Hairpy Burpday said:

 "If your friends left you because of whatever they think you failed at, then you deserve better friends. I suggest that you join some clubs and societies that can allow you to meet new people, and these include charity groups that can help people out."    

What makes you think going to these places will help me find better friends?  I went to a support group once because I was very loney since I lost my friends, I figure I would meet new people, there was a woman sitting by herself, I figure she needs company so I went up to talk to her and she told me to go away.  Then on top of it she gossips to others about me and how I approached her that made me so embarrassed.  I was so angry that I wanted to approach her to give her a good slap in the face..  But instead I told her off, afterwords I never went back to that program.  Now because of it  I'm afraid to talk to people, comes to show that I can't trust anyone.  So what makes you think clubs and societies are any better?  I've watch documentaries about people trusting others and wound getting hurt or killed, look up Jennifer Daugherty, she's a disabled woman who thought she had friends but ends up being killed by them.  I think the world is a toxic place.  I just pray that I leave this horrible planet very soon. https://www.colourbox.com/image/man-on-the-gallows-on-white-isolated-background-suicide-image-4300194  :sniffle1: :sniffle1: :sniffle1:

 

Edited by BornLoser67
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On 11/07/2016 at 3:03 AM, BornLoser67 said:

What makes you think going to these places will help me find better friends?  I went to a support group once because I was very loney since I lost my friends, I figure I would meet new people, there was a woman sitting by herself, I figure she needs company so I went up to talk to her and she told me to go away.  Then on top of it she gossips to others about me and how I approached her that made me so embarrassed.  I was so angry that I wanted to approach her to give her a good slap in the face..  But instead I told her off, afterwords I never went back to that program.  Now because of it  I'm afraid to talk to people, comes to show that I can't trust anyone.  So what makes you think clubs and societies are any better?  I've watch documentaries about people trusting others and wound getting hurt or killed, look up Jennifer Daugherty, she's a disabled woman who thought she had friends but ends up being killed by them.  I think the world is a toxic place.  I just pray that I leave this horrible planet very soon. https://www.colourbox.com/image/man-on-the-gallows-on-white-isolated-background-suicide-image-4300194  :sniffle1: :sniffle1: :sniffle1:

Also I'm almost middle aged I'm too old now! A lot of people my age are probably grandparents by now..  Where exactly am I going to find some friends who are still single at my age?  Give me a F break I'm better off dead!! 

 

Edited by Tungsten Aromatics
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  • 1 month later...

What's the use I'm getting nowhere with my life. I'm very lonely. I'm turning middle aged, it's too hopeless for me now. I don't know if I can go on, I don't think I care anymore. I'm so miserable that I sleep a lot especially on weekends. Sometimes I sleep for 24 hours. All I do is eat, sleep & cry.. I'm completely overweight, I have health problems that I don't care if I get a heart attack, at least I'll be leaving this repellent world!  :sniffle1:

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Trust me, Born, it hurts me--all of us (I think it's safe to say) to see you in such despair!  I'm middle aged, have never been married or had children, either.  Though I do have family who loves me and whom I love.  I've backed away from friendships because of embarrassment about my life.  (Facebook can be a painful thing.)  I'm living with my parents, have just run out of my own money, I'm in pain every day because of extreme arthritis--which I'm trying to get medical help for (that, of late, has turned out poorly due to the physician's office at which I was being seen.), I've written a book that I can't seem to sell, have 3 childrens' books written and no illustrator for them, and the pain of all this stuff finally became unsustainable. 

Before I returned to my parents' home, I was living in an apartment I hated in L.A., was so lonely I'd scream-cry (new word, that) into my pillow at night, even though I'd had a job and the freedom it allowed me to take road trips and see this beautiful country.  I became involved with a man I knew was TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE for me because i was so lonely, and THAT was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.  As I saw my life fall apart, I thought, "I'm too old to have done this.  I should have listened to myself.  When will I learn?  What's wrong with me?"  And that led to a hole of self-hatred i had to crawl out of. 

I don't know what to say, other than we understand how you feel--maybe not your specific circumstances--but the pain of depression.  YES, life is bad when all you can manage to do is cry and sleep.  It's misery, and it feels impossible to turn around. I would call a suicide hotline immediately.  Someone will talk to you and offer you at least an ear, maybe steer you to a place that can offer medical/emotional/psych help.  Other than that, there's someone here in the chatroom 24/7, because this is a global community.  Please hang on.  You've come to a good place here.  If you want to leave us, don't do it by ending your life.  You already have people who care.

WOTL

Edited by womanofthelight
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We may think that people who have what we don't, a mate and children, money, a good job, friends, the perfect body etc., are happy but those things do not bring happiness. There are people out there with one or more of those things that are absolutely miserable too. Maybe their spouse is an ass*ole, their kids are little sh*ts and their boss is a F******* sh*t stain on the underwear of existence M****** C****** nosed Bastitch, their hot body is their only redeeming quality and people only want them for sex. You need to give yourself some credit, you are more than these things and so is happiness. Why do we do this to ourselves? We dig and dig and dig up our minds until it is full of holes and then realize there was no more or less valuable treasure there than in anyone else's mind when its too late to be content. Believe me I need to take this advice too.

 

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I am in a similar situation and i can relate to you alot I was just thinking about it again today, im such a bitter person that I find it almost impossible to be friendly with people anymore because i have started to resent them after years of feeling im ignored. you are not the only one in this situation.

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You don't need to have friends/family to be happy. Many of those who do, are still miserable. I was bullied and alone for a long time too and I understand how it weights on your mind. It is very hard for people to make friends if they never really had them before, because we didn't develop proper skills and most people can't relate to that, but it doesn't mean you need to be miserable. Just because you're alone, doesn't mean you can't be happy. Just say "screw all of them" and try doing more things by yourself, go to the movies, restaurants, park or any other place you like, who cares if people look at you funny or talk behind your back - it means nothing. We all be dead sooner or later, those, who lived their lives filled with friends, family etc. will die just the same, like those who spent all their lives alone. Go out there, do your own thing, as long as you're not bothering anyone else - who cares? It is very possible and never too late to find happiness in solitude.

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Broken psyches are fixable.

We are here to help each other.

So you have some challenges. Who doesn't?

Give yourself a chance to be helped and give us a chance to offer help.

Just start with a teeny, tiny smile and see where it leads.

 

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