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LonelyHiker

6 Reasons the Single Life Is the Best Life

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Because it needed saying! :-)  For all of you out there who feel like you can't get past a breakup, or that you need to "be in a relationship" to have any self-worth (ironic, no?)..

 

 

Live Your Life For You: 6 Reasons The Single Life Is The Best Life

Jason Anthony

in DATING

Jun 25, 20159:31am

 

Being single doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with you.

We live in a society where we are pressured to talk about relationships and actively pursue them.

I’m not here to bash marriage or relationships. If you’re reading this, you probably already know the benefits of bonding and forming healthy connections.

I am here to tell you why being single is badass and explain why it’s becoming a commonly adopted lifestyle choice.

1. You can do what you want.

Seriously, do whatever the hell you want. You answer to no one but yourself.

Feel like taking an impromptu trip to Spain? Book it. Want to binge-watch the new season of “Orange is the New Black?” Clear your schedule, and hit the couch. You run the show.

You’re not bound morally or contractually to check in, refer to or run anything past anyone in your personal life. You can work long hours if you wish, start your own business (or multiple businesses) and forge your own destiny.

Being single comes with the unrivaled freedom that a number of people in relationships do not have. It’s all about you, and that’s a beautiful thing.

2. You have less drama in your life.

Gone are days of bickering, miscommunication and indecision. The dreaded “Where do you want to eat?” conversation that ends in you eating nowhere vanishes.

You don’t get judged or scrutinized over trite things or differences in opinions. The only expectations you have to deal with are your own.

While stress is, simply, a fact of life, reducing and lowering the amount of it has significant benefits.

3. You meet many unique people.

Being single also means you can date and meet more types of people than you could ever imagine. The world is your dating pool.

With a slew of free dating apps like Tinder and OKCupid, it has never been easier to find and connect with people you wouldn’t bump into on the street. You meet new people at the grocery store, mall or out on the town.

A large portion of your friends want to play matchmaker and set you up with someone, so there is no shortage of exciting experiences for you.

As an added bonus, singles get to share some of the most insane and hilarious dating stories with their friends.

4. You’re stronger and more independent.

Single people rock. You do it all: cleaning, chores, grocery shopping, cooking, work and everything else in-between.

You’re managing and balancing your checkbook and life on your own.

The duties of the day aren’t split, and no one is keeping score over who did what (or worse, who didn’t do what).

On the emotional front, you don’t need to explain why you feel a certain way. You feel what you feel.

Independence is an extremely attractive and gratifying trait. Extra points go out to those single moms and dads!

Single parents do everything in addition to raising their children.

5. You’re not in a bad relationship.

It sounds simple, but if you’re not in a relationship, you can’t have a bad one. You don’t have to worry about breaking up if someone isn’t the right person for you.

You’re not dealing with psychos or their psycho exes who just can’t get over it.

Jealousy and possessiveness destroy relationships, and by being single, you don’t have to put up with all that nonsense.

This all speaks for itself without delving into the ridiculous divorce rates in today’s world.

6.. You can finally find fulfillment.

Happiness depends on ourselves. There’s something to be said about finding inner peace and fulfillment on your own.

When you’re single, you’re afforded many exciting opportunities. You’re able to discover you can be alone with yourself and your thoughts and still be happy.

When you rely on or expect your happiness to come from external sources, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

Being single grants you the experiences necessary to tap into the person you truly are.

From there, you make the decisions that mold you into the person you want to be.

If you wish to share your time with someone else, it will only help to further develop who you are. If not, there’s always reason number one.

 

-------------------

 

And now I'll add my own list of benefits accorded to the single:

1. You can go out on casual dates whenever you want.

2. No more jealous over-the-shoulder email "snooping" ("Who's Larry/Linda?!"  "Uhhhh...a good friend who lives in Chicago - 1000 miles away -  that I am good friends with and who I met years before you and I started dating?"

3. You can have as many female/male friends as you want (see "jealous" in #2)

4, No pain-in-the ass in-laws or having to endure boring, awkward "meet the parents" scenarios.

5. You don't have to get rid of beloved pets because he/she is allergic.

6. You can leave the seat up/down.

7. You don't have to worry if he/she will "click" with your friends.

8. You can spend all your money on yourself (and your kid(s) if you're a single parent}

Feel free to chime in and add any that I've missed!  :-)

 

Edited by LonelyHiker

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5 minutes ago, LonelyHiker said:

Because it needed saying! :-)  For all of you out there who feel like you can't get past a breakup, or that you need to "be in a relationship" to have any self-worth (ironic, no?)..

 

 

Live Your Life For You: 6 Reasons The Single Life Is The Best Life

Jason Anthony

in DATING

Jun 25, 20159:31am

 

Being single doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with you.

We live in a society where we are pressured to talk about relationships and actively pursue them.

I’m not here to bash marriage or relationships. If you’re reading this, you probably already know the benefits of bonding and forming healthy connections.

I am here to tell you why being single is badass and explain why it’s becoming a commonly adopted lifestyle choice.

1. You can do what you want.

Seriously, do whatever the hell you want. You answer to no one but yourself.

Feel like taking an impromptu trip to Spain? Book it. Want to binge-watch the new season of “Orange is the New Black?” Clear your schedule, and hit the couch. You run the show.

You’re not bound morally or contractually to check in, refer to or run anything past anyone in your personal life. You can work long hours if you wish, start your own business (or multiple businesses) and forge your own destiny.

Being single comes with the unrivaled freedom that a number of people in relationships do not have. It’s all about you, and that’s a beautiful thing.

2. You have less drama in your life.

Gone are days of bickering, miscommunication and indecision. The dreaded “Where do you want to eat?” conversation that ends in you eating nowhere vanishes.

You don’t get judged or scrutinized over trite things or differences in opinions. The only expectations you have to deal with are your own.

While stress is, simply, a fact of life, reducing and lowering the amount of it has significant benefits.

3. You meet many unique people.

Being single also means you can date and meet more types of people than you could ever imagine. The world is your dating pool.

With a slew of free dating apps like Tinder and OKCupid, it has never been easier to find and connect with people you wouldn’t bump into on the street. You meet new people at the grocery store, mall or out on the town.

A large portion of your friends want to play matchmaker and set you up with someone, so there is no shortage of exciting experiences for you.

As an added bonus, singles get to share some of the most insane and hilarious dating stories with their friends.

4. You’re stronger and more independent.

Single people rock. You do it all: cleaning, chores, grocery shopping, cooking, work and everything else in-between.

You’re managing and balancing your checkbook and life on your own.

The duties of the day aren’t split, and no one is keeping score over who did what (or worse, who didn’t do what).

On the emotional front, you don’t need to explain why you feel a certain way. You feel what you feel.

Independence is an extremely attractive and gratifying trait. Extra points go out to those single moms and dads!

Single parents do everything in addition to raising their children.

5. You’re not in a bad relationship.

It sounds simple, but if you’re not in a relationship, you can’t have a bad one. You don’t have to worry about breaking up if someone isn’t the right person for you.

You’re not dealing with psychos or their psycho exes who just can’t get over it.

Jealousy and possessiveness destroy relationships, and by being single, you don’t have to put up with all that nonsense.

This all speaks for itself without delving into the ridiculous divorce rates in today’s world.

6.. You can finally find fulfillment.

Happiness depends on ourselves. There’s something to be said about finding inner peace and fulfillment on your own.

When you’re single, you’re afforded many exciting opportunities. You’re able to discover you can be alone with yourself and your thoughts and still be happy.

When you rely on or expect your happiness to come from external sources, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

Being single grants you the experiences necessary to tap into the person you truly are.

From there, you make the decisions that mold you into the person you want to be.

If you wish to share your time with someone else, it will only help to further develop who you are. If not, there’s always reason number one.

 

-------------------

 

And now I'll add my own list of benefits accorded to the single:

1. You can go out on casual dates whenever you want.

2. No more jealous over-the-shoulder email "snooping" ("Who's Larry/Linda?!"  "Uhhhh...a good friend who lives in Chicago - 1000 miles away -  that I am good friends with and who I met years before you and I started dating?"

3. You can have as many female/male friends as you want (see "jealous" in #2)

4, No pain-in-the ass in-laws or having to endure boring, awkward "meet the parents" scenarios.

5. You don't have to get rid of beloved pets because he/she is allergic.

6. You can leave the seat up/down.

7. You don't have to worry if he/she will "click" with your friends.

8. You can spend all your money on yourself (and your kid(s) if you're a single parent}

Feel free to chime in and add any that I've missed!  :-)

 

LonelyHiker:  I have been in many relationships, most ending in major drama.  I try to commit my full self to a committed relationship, my ten year relationship wanted us to see other people but still be together.  I disagreed and then all Hell broke loose.

I'm content with my life now.  Love the freedom, and  agree with the reasons you said.  Can't say I could add anything more.

But at the same time I"m happy for people who are in relationships. I am single now because I choose to be  in this stage of my life.  Good topic.  Thanks for posting it!
 

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This made me feel better about being single. Thank you so much for posting this, I agree with the every reason!

Cheers for all the single people out there! :flowers:

 

My reasons:

  • The biggest reason is that you can spend ALL your time to yourself
  • Perfect for introverts, especially if you're very introverted and love solitude
  • Can focus on building up your career
  • FREEDOM
  • Better chances to personal growth, because sometimes people ''lose themselves'' in a relationship
  • You can do what the hell you want, whenever you want and in the way you want :P

 

 

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All points are great except "You can meet more unique people" and "you can go out on casual dates", then whats the point?

The topic is best things about being single, so why should I waste my time looking into other people for dating? Dating (be it casual) bears potential threat of another relationship. 

I find the following point the best: You can do whatever you want without being judged.  

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And then loneliness just destroys all the enjoyment in those points..

Also not every relationship is like the points above are describing.. It all seems to point to a person having dealt with control freaks.

Edited by Twilight Sky

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57 minutes ago, Twilight Sky said:

And then loneliness just destroys all the enjoyment in those points..

Also not every relationship is like the points above are describing.. It all seems to point to a person having dealt with control freaks.

"I’m not here to bash marriage or relationships. If you’re reading this, you probably already know the benefits of bonding and forming healthy connections."

Guess you missed this part.

And some of loneliest people I know are married or in long-term relationships.

With all due respect, if you don't have anything positive (or even neutral) to contribute, please don't post in this thread. There's enough negativity floating around DF as it is.

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1-No one nags you about how you live

2.You can drink out of the carton

3. you can have as much alchohol as you want by yourself and there is no one around to judge you

4- you don,t have to deal with someone else when your stressed out

5-you get control of the tv

6- you can blast music in your house and car

7- You don,t have to meet there friends and family when you don,t want to

8- you save money if you don,t date that much

9 peace and quiet

10- Can focus on other things like working or hobbies

11- Don,t have to deal with drama

12-No one is around to judge you

13 you can be more spontaneous no one to negotiate plans with

14 you can go to eat where you want

15 don,thave to put on a act your happy

16- you don,t need to worry about someones elses well being when your stressed

 

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both options have pros and cons no point making argument one over other.

Also depends on the person, some people prefer to be in one some prefer to be single.

What gets me is moreso societys view as i said in my recent thread. If your a guy single at least, always people making nasty comments.

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I do enjoy the single life, but lately i've felt extra lonely.

I always push people away in relationships, perhaps a fear of commitment but i feel like i'm really ready to give one a go. Now all i need to do is find the right person.. Can we date robots yet? :idea3:

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only women are happy being single.

 

 

or rather, they can endure it much much better then men can.

Edited by User4035

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Keep my own hours, nobody trashes the clean kitchen or moves my important papers, or gets me into debt.  Bought my own darned diamond ring. 

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6 Reasons why being single (alone)  if you are me sucks

1. No one to talk to bout life's daily struggles.

2. No hope of family (children)

3. No  love sexual or otherwise

4. No one that accepts you for you

5. No one there to hold you when life's waters get rough

6. No worth, no purpose,

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Being in the middle of a nasty divorce from a toxic marriage this gives me hope and when i get through all of this i will enjoy my kids and my new single life, keep em coming.

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On May 10, 2016 at 2:56 PM, My empire of dirt said:

6 Reasons why being single (alone)  if you are me sucks

1. No one to talk to bout life's daily struggles.

2. No hope of family (children)

3. No  love sexual or otherwise

4. No one that accepts you for you

5. No one there to hold you when life's waters get rough

6. No worth, no purpose,

I feel the exact same way.  33 years old, never dated or had a boyfriend really hurts.  I feel so defective.

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On ‎5‎/‎14‎/‎2016 at 3:40 PM, LaurynJcat said:

I'll add one reason I haven't seen here.  If you're single, you don't have the constant worry about something happening to your significant other.   Car accident, heart attack - anything that could rob you of the person you love forever, or severely debilitate them.  And if they die, you don't just end up single - you end up devastated for life.  If they are debilitated you end up a caregiver with all the stress and burden of that.

Also, even if you're in an ideal relationship where you are ideally suited to the other person (I am), other factors can intrude.  My husband has a physical disability which has meant that out of our 20 years together, he only spent 6 with any kind of steady job (plus for about another 6 years he was in school which was expensive).  The result has been poverty and unintentional resentment.  It's damn hard being in a relationship when you're poor.

If you love each other that's all that should matter.

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On ‎5‎/‎13‎/‎2016 at 0:02 AM, tami83 said:

I feel the exact same way.  33 years old, never dated or had a boyfriend really hurts.  I feel so defective.

Your still young at 33 and there's hope to find love me on the otherhand at 47 i'm finished without ever starting.

Edited by My empire of dirt

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On May 6, 2016 at 3:57 PM, User4035 said:

only women are happy being single.

 

 

or rather, they can endure it much much better then men can.

I agree completely.  My mother is a big believer in this.  When my grandfather died back in '99, my grandmother never dated.  Never remarried and she's still going strong.

When my grandmother on the other side of the family died, my grandfather died maybe 1 or 2 months later, of a broken heart.

I don't think guys can be alone.  We need a good woman in our lives.  I feel like that's the reason I don't feel whole.

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Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other. [emphasis mine]

 

I define dependency as the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another. Dependency in physical healthy adults is pathological – it is sick, always a manifestation of mental illness or defect…One whose life is ruled and dictated by dependency needs suffers from a psychiatric disorder to which we ascribe the diagnostic name “passive dependent personality disorder.” It is perhaps the most common of all psychiatric disorders.

            People with this disorder are so busy seeking to be loved that they have not energy left to love. They are like starving people…It is as if within them they have an inner emptiness, a bottomless pit crying out to be filled but which can never be completely filled. They never feel “full-filled” or have a sense of completeness. They always feel “a part of me is missing.” They tolerate loneliness very poorly. Because of their lack of wholeness they have no real sense of identity, and they define themselves solely by their relationships…

            It is as if it does not matter whom they are dependent upon as long as there is just someone. It does not matter what their identity is as long as there is someone to give it to them. Consequently their relationships, although seemingly dramatic in their intensity, are actually extremely shallow. Because of the strength of their sense of inner emptiness and the hunger to fill it, passive dependent people will brook no delay in gratifying their need for others…

            Passive dependency has its genesis in lack of love. The inner feeling of emptiness from which passive dependent people suffer is the direct result of their parent’s failure to fulfill their needs for affection, attention and care during their childhood. It was mentioned in the first section that children who are loved and cared for with relative consistency throughout childhood enter adulthood with a deep-seated feeling that they are lovable and valuable and therefore will be loved and cared for as long as they remain true to themselves. Children growing up in an atmosphere in which love and care are lacking or given with gross inconsistency enter adulthood with no such inner security. Rather than have an inner sense of insecurity, a feeling of “I don’t have enough” and a sense that the world is unpredictable and ungiving, as well as a sense of themselves as being questionably lovable and valuable. It is no wonder, then that they feel the need to scramble for love, care and attention wherever they can find it, and once having found it, cling to it with a desperation that leads them to unloving, manipulative, Machiavellian behavior that destroys the very relationships they seek to preserve. As also indicated in the previous section, love and discipline go hand in hand, so that unloving, uncaring parents are people lacking in discipline and when they fail to provide their children with a sense of being loved, they also fail to provide them with the capacity for self-discipline. Thus the excessive dependency of the passive dependent individuals is only the principal manifestation of their personality disorder. Passive dependent people lack self-discipline. They are unwilling or unable to delay gratification of their hunger for attention. In their desperation to form and preserve attachments they throw honesty to the winds. They cling to outworn relationships when they should give them up. Most important, they lack a sense of responsibility for themselves. They passively look to others, frequently their own children, as the source of their happiness and fulfillment, and therefore when they are not happy or fulfilled they basically feel that others are responsible.

- M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

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14 hours ago, I need a hero said:

I agree completely.  My mother is a big believer in this.  When my grandfather died back in '99, my grandmother never dated.  Never remarried and she's still going strong.

When my grandmother on the other side of the family died, my grandfather died maybe 1 or 2 months later, of a broken heart.

I don't think guys can be alone.  We need a good woman in our lives.  I feel like that's the reason I don't feel whole.

Thats a myth I think im almost whole and im alone,i do notice what your talking about with other men my father would probaly die from not being able to feed himself or clean the house both my parents told me they never lived alone, I am the only one in my whole family including aunts uncles etc I find it strange that they never learned how to be bythemselfs lol,i could see how some men might become codepdent on women and it gives them self esteem. I told my parents you would have no idea how to entertain yourselfs if you lived alone actually My one grandmother lives alone and she is miesarble while my grandfather is not, and my other grandmother who I talk to seems very happy and does all kinds of fun things.im use to living alone because im picky with who I want to be around. Of course I get lonely but im not going to die from it. Even if im with someone i,ll probaly get depressed over losing them or they don,t like me enough so its not like being with someone would solve mine or all your issues.

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Being single is new for me. Always seemed to be involved in some type of relationship. Now it sounds great to just hang with friends every now and then. The truth of the matter is that with my depression being pretty all-encompassing, I wouldn't make a very good girlfriend.

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Single / married:  everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side...  

It's better to be "alone" than be with the wrong person.  Then you're even MORE alone, ironically.

You have to be with the right person for the right reasons otherwise it's no good.  Better to be alone.

I'm a person who needs a certain amount of solitude and I rarely get it.  Just once in a while I would like to come home from work and do what I want to do without someone making demands on me and/or telling me what to do.  I sooooo miss those long nights when I used to write and write and time seemed endless.  I miss the weekends I used to cocoon myself at home and just watch movies.  It seemed to restore me in a way.  Envy me because I'm married?  Don't.  

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