Want to be alone

[callierose303]

I so desperately just want to be left alone.  My personality is such that I would never be honest if someone asked to stop by or come over, but the whole time I'm with them, I'm just thinking, "leave me alone".  I know people don't understand.  I actually develop anxiety when I know someone is coming and I have to be "on".  It's so exhausting.  I know people care and are just doing what they know how to do, but I feel like they aren't respecting what I feel I NEED to do for me right now.  

[Epictetus]

Hi Callierrose,

     I feel the way you do!  You put it into words so well!  For me, family is the hardest on my mental health but others too. 

Sincerely, Epictetus

[Angelsloth]

I feel the same way you do.  My problem is this way; the first two years of your life are the most formative for your brain and that is the time one should interact a lot with the parents.  The touch, feel, smell, vocals, playing which I did not get because my parents were across the ocean trying to "settle in" while my grandparents who were already in their 50s and done with child rearing and had very minimal interaction with me.  As a result, I have a lot of problems interacting with others and making friends and my marriage is severely on the rocks and I never got along with my own family and in-laws.  I want friends but do not know how to act.

[JasonDark]

Its ok to temporarily be alone but keep trying to find a way to be yourself and be around others too. I have alienated and isolated to the point now where I'm breaking.

[callierose303]

I'm sorry there are so many of you who feel as I do.  I know it is common with depression.  It's just it's painful to be with people, and it's painful to be alone.

[lp44]

Being "on" is the most stressful thing ever. I completely understand.

You are right I think people don't really know what to do so they go with what they think might help.

However, like so many things you simply can't knew till you have "walked that proverbial mile."

It is "painful to be with people and painful to be alone."

Sorry it's been so hard.

[ejc]

6 hours ago, callierose303 said:

I so desperately just want to be left alone.  My personality is such that I would never be honest if someone asked to stop by or come over, but the whole time I'm with them, I'm just thinking, "leave me alone".  I know people don't understand.  I actually develop anxiety when I know someone is coming and I have to be "on".  It's so exhausting.  I know people care and are just doing what they know how to do, but I feel like they aren't respecting what I feel I NEED to do for me right now.  

there was a time when I absolutely wanted 0 contact with people I knew. I ended up sending a brief email explaining my depression and need to be alone but that I know people care so my email is my update...I got the space I needed.

[Angelsloth]

I get afraid of crossing someone else's boundaries and being intrusive on someone else's space as well and here I am always needing space which is all an irony on itself.