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Mahi

Feeling like I'm not good enough.

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My name is Mahi, and I'm 13 years old. 

Recently, I've been feeling like I'm not good enough. Whenever I talk to my friends, I feel as if I want to disappear...it feels like my presence poisons the situation. I'm not sure if this is a fog depression set over my eyes, but this is how I feel...

Is there any way to feel good (or at least better) about myself? Like I'm actually worth it? Is there a way to tell if people truly appreciate you? Any advice or input would be invaluable.

(If you're curious, this is my story: http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/116944-depression-at-12-my-story/)

Thanks for taking the time to read this!

 

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Hey there Mahi! I'm Morgan. I definitely know how you feel, and I just wanna say, if you ever need someone to talk to you can message me OK? ?

 

Anyway, from my experience the best ways to feel good about yourself are as follows:

-take care of yourself physically (you probably know how to do all that, but sometimes it can really help to have a shower, do a face mask, file or trim your nails, make a healthy meal etc. If you're someone who likes makeup, doing a full glam makeup can really boost your mood in a pinch, even if you don't wear it anywhere!)

-take care of yourself mentally (whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, don't try to stop them, question them. 'Im worthless.' Why? What makes me worthless? I find little self-dialogues to help sometimes...it can help untangle some deeper issues if you do it persistently! And remember to congratulate yourself for positive thoughts and actions!)

So, outside of making yourself feel good physically and mentally, the most rewarding way to give yourself worth is to find something you're passionate about. It doesn't matter what, or how good you are at it now. If you commit yourself to it and make goals for yourself, it is so rewarding! I've taught myself to do many things over the years and gotten quite good at some of them. If you already have a hobby, set a small goal to improve somehow by the end of the month. Even if it's just to spend more time on it than you do already. 

 

Lastly, your friends will most-likely be willing to listen to your concerns! If they aren't, just remember that most of the friendships made at your age aren't permanent ones. As you get older, you'll meet people who will stick by you through thick and thin. If your friends aren't good now, that's ok.  Maybe try to extend your social circle for the time being. When I was your age I learned to bond with people over sarcasm, humour and common interests. 

I can't think of anything else to add, but this is pretty much how I made it through grade 9 and 10. Anyway, I hope you found something useful in my ramble-y post!

 

Best wishes,

Morgan! ?

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Hi Mahi,

I just read your story, and you are definitely not worthless. You've tried so hard to get this far and its great that you are reaching out for help. Have you tried an after school club where you can excel and be praised, it will also give you some space from your mum. Also, are the police or any social services aware of what has happened? This sort of thing is awful, especially for someone of your age where you need all the self confidence you can get.

Hope this helps,

Chris

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You used a very insightful metaphor. Fog depression. Depression does play a trick on our brains by not allowing us to see clearly. Of course it is a metaphorical fog that will lift just like a natural fog. Be patient with yourself and don't try to understand every last feeling you experience. Our inner landscape is just too complicated to figure out.

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