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depression when you have kids...guilt


fearless

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i have been on medication for depression for almost 4 weeks now and the start up has been hard....i know its not easy...

but i feel so guilty I am being a crappy mother. my kids are fed and clean but i have no energy for any real interactions with them...i also am using my energy just to get through the day at work.

 

tell me it gets better and remind me that i have to go through this to get better for them.

i want to enjoy my kids again

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OK that last sentence really said everything for you..

I'm not a parent so I can't relate..however.. I could suggest to just sit somewhere close to them and try to enjoy that they are you kids and that they are alive and around you.

What I'm saying is, enjoy every moment you can just being around them. They will all get old someday and move out. The guilt is understandable but ddepression lives up to its name well.. Can drag you down.

Edited by Twilight Sky
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So sorry you are going through a tough time in your life.

First breath... and take a moment to pause in your life. Enjoy the moment you are in...the present.  Don't think about the past or the future. Try to live in that very moment. Put everything out of your mind and just enjoy the time you are spending with your kiddos. You are a great mama and probably just need to slow down a bit. I know when I get all caught up in my daily schedule and just try to get to the end of the day, I start to miss my kids growing up right in front of my very eyes.

Here is a great article that might help you in the mean time. Have you tried counseling before? Maybe talking about your situation to a neutral party might help you see this a little clearer. I will be praying for you and your family! Hang in there mama! God Bless!

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I'm a mom to 2 young kids and I struggle with depression/anxiety.  It's tough to find balance when you're barely able to get out of bed in the morning.  I try to find time, even just a few minutes here and there, to sit and enjoy my kids.  It can be anything, from sitting and reading a book together for a minute or just snuggling in front of the TV.  Family movie night has become my favorite time of the week, when we all just sit together, watching a movie and eating popcorn.  And I do what I can to be outside with them as much as possible.  My kids love to have picnics in our yard.  We just cook something simple on the grill and eat it on a blanket in the grass.  I've even picked up a cheap pizza and had that for dinner in the yard. 

I don't know how old your kids are.  Mine are still both in elementary school.  The early years were harder as my kids needed more hands on attention.  As they got older, it got easier.  Mostly now, they need my time...time to help them with homework or watch them ride bikes or play tetherball.  Also, I've read to my kids about anxiety and depression (our favorites are, "Is a Worry Worrying You and Up and Down the Worry Hill).  I'm sure there are books for kids about depression.  It helped my kids to understand what I was going through, even at a basic level.  And it helped me to learn how to talk to them about it. 

It DOES get easier!  Hang in there and keep talking about it!  You'll get through it!

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I am a new mom (son is 13 months) and it is motherhood and finally recognizing the impact of my state of mind on my marriage that has convinced me to take further treatment steps. I have tried talk therapy, but it hasn't done anything but increase my anxiety about someone else's reactions and judgments about me as a person. I have an appointment on Monday to talk to my doctor about medication. 

I don't have a good answer for you, but I do believe it can get better. I also believe that if you are taking the initiative to help yourself, you are not a crappy mother. 

Depression is hard. Being a parent suffering from depression is a whole new kind of hard. Hang in there. 

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