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Am I depressed for the wrong reasons?


mark88

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So, long story short, I was un-employed for 5 years and in those 5 years I didn't do a thing.
I sat at my desk at home (live with parents) eating junk food (sometimes spending £30-£40 on a take away, eating it all) playing on the internet.
I never left the house, I lost my friends, from 21-26, I never had fun.

I feel like I had to re-start my life, I had my breakdown last year because it hit me, I just looked back and I get so depressed over what I lost, I could have seen the world, fell in love or just had fun. 
People my age are starting to settle down, they stop going out and start planning a family. But for me, I feel like im still 21. I feel like I never aged, or got to be a little reckless and make mistakes. 

Since 2014, I have lost 8 stone, I mean, to some people thats amazing, Im happy about that, but I still get upset, even annoyed with myself for wasting my life.

I believe I have a very good life, I have a job (even tho I hate it and it makes my depression worse) I have a very big family, I can afford to go away with them and I had a really good up-bringing. But when I think about what I have, I feel guilty for being depressed. I get lost/confused. 


I keep telling myself, "You should be glad youre re-starting your life now, rather than getting to old age wishing you had done it sooner"
I sometimes feel selfish for being depressed. 

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