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Vague, non-specific intrusive thoughts driving me insane?


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I've been dealing with OCD tendencies for years, at times it's worse than others. The last year has been particularly hard in terms of mental health (depression, anxiety, perfectionism) but I'm getting support and have a mix of good and bad days. 

It's one of those rough spells right now, and it's hard to describe: I get really pervasive intrusive "thoughts", but they're vague, nothing specific, without any particular triggers. They're completely non-nonsensical, it can be a random word or image that taunts me and won't leave my mind. It's not anything like a destructive or inappropriate behaviour that I'm scared I'll act out. Just an inexplicable "feeling of not right". And this compels me to repeat menial actions over and over and over until it "feels right". Like, for instance I'll leave and re-enter a room 10 times or look in the mirror a certain way repeatedly until I feel it's "satisfactory". The problem is this cycle gets out of control: the more I try to ignore it or drive the intrusion out, the more prominent it gets, the more irritated I get, the less successful I am in repeating an action up to standard. 

I'm not in a position to experiment with any meds, and need to just get in control of my brain without going insane. This completely interferes with my day. Simple tasks end up taking hours because I can't let it go until it feels "right". I can't ignore it. I can't overpower it. Any strategies? I can't move on, and I can't ignore these bugs infesting my mind. It makes it harder because they're so hard to describe, they don't have any specific meaning or origin. 

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Hi Saaphire Owl. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. After reading and given some thought. My problems are much like yours. I've been diagnosed with severe depression and PTSD. I've been on Bupropion at different strengths for 6 years. Currently 100mgs into the morning and 100mgs at night. That has helped me both mentally and physically. However sexual side effects came into my life then. Erectile Dysfunction. That's something that my mental health counselor touched on. Bupropion has the least sexual side effects. But I really needed my primary doctor to figure out how to help me with this. He prescribed Viagra to see if it worked. It does!!!! Back to my mental health and dealing with PTSD. That started about 2 years ago. Its not only for the military. Civilians can have it also. I went thru 4 knee surgeries for Septic Arthritis. After being cut up then had physical therapy. All 4 surgeries took all of my time for 2 years. Returning home I couldn't stand watching any medical shows on TV. I had flashbacks from all of the surgeries. Reading up on PTSD; I seen that Zoloft would help. It has!! 25mgs in the morning. Its amazing how that has helped me!!!  Now for your answer to your question. Are you currently taking any depression medication? Zoloft helps with OCD. My thing was to always look back to see if my mailbox was closed and locked.  I'd get back into the apartment. Then have to physically walk out and go up the steps and check it. Zoloft helped me immensely. But sometimes I'll look over my shoulder to make sure it's locked. Ask your mental health specialist about possibly going on Zoloft. That may take care of the other OCD problems. It worked for me. But everyone is different when taking antidepressants. I hope this helped you. Welcome to the world of antidepressants!! Please let me know how you're doing. If you need to talk again. Just notify me on this problem. I'm always online.

Good luck and please talk with your doctor. That's the greatest source and solutions for your problem!!!

 

 

 

 

 

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I have been on Cipralex on various doses for MANY years (for anti-depression purposes) but am currently in the process of weaning off of it, since I don't even think it's doing anything. Like I mentioned, I'm not in a position to be experimenting with medications, my system is in a bit of a fragile state, and there is also no direct cause or trigger for the OCD tendencies, which makes it hard to pin-point its source. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

SaphhireOwl, I have to admit your post somewhat astonished me because of how close I could have related to it ~ 10yrs ago (I'm 23).  I experienced what you described as a vague "feeling of not right," which sometimes kept me up all night or at least late into the morning, multiple times, sometimes two or three nights in a row.  I never entered and existed a room ten times, but I did things similar and equally non-sensical.  For example, I would literally spend hours poking a wall in the corner of my room until it "felt right".  Alternatively I compulsively my neck in a certain direction repeatively, until it "felt right," actually causing myself neck sores at times.  This hasn't bothered me recently, but I think I may have a different type of OCD now, characterised more by Obsession, rather than Obsession combined with Compulsion.  I don't know, but I think knowing that you are not the only person who has this very peculiar problem might help in overcoming it. Mostly by thinking less about it.  That may or may not help.

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Thanks, it does bring a little comfort that someone else just "gets" it. It's so hard to describe to anyone, even doctors and therapists, because OCD always involves definite things like hand-washing because one is afraid of germs, or checking locks because one is afraid of being robbed. But I don't have any specific fears or "bad thoughts" like attacking someone or whatnot. Good to know that even my weird vague form of OCD exists and I'm not just "not seeing the deeper meaning" or whatever. Thank you for sharing.

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  • 6 months later...
On 2016-04-11 at 6:03 PM, SapphireOwl said:

Thanks, it does bring a little comfort that someone else just "gets" it. It's so hard to describe to anyone, even doctors and therapists, because OCD always involves definite things like hand-washing because one is afraid of germs, or checking locks because one is afraid of being robbed. But I don't have any specific fears or "bad thoughts" like attacking someone or whatnot. Good to know that even my weird vague form of OCD exists and I'm not just "not seeing the deeper meaning" or whatever. Thank you for sharing.

The same back at you.  I hope you're doing ok.

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