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Does anyone ever feel like they have nothing to live for


scienceguy

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Yeah he didn,t want to leave the house we rented because he wanted to play warcraft and was staying in the room saying hes not going and when he doesn't,t go my mothers says no one can go and my grand parents were frustrated because there functional non-disordered people.i know  my dad has bad social anxiety and  doesn't,t like to leave the house but there is no reason for him to always be trying to control everyone around him.my dad would find a way to ruin winning the lottery to,im so happy i live bymyself even when im lonely when I go to visit them its like im observing some kind of sick twisted cult I can,t belive im even related to them anymore.

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I agree.  The one beautiful thing about being an adult is you don't have to go see anyone.  I can't believe I'm related to most of the people I'm related to.  I have nothing in common with most of them.  When there is a family reunion I go to it feels about as cold as if I'm sitting in the doctor's office waiting room with strangers sometimes.

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I feel like this all the time. Sometimes i do have goals though but then my mind decides to tell me i cant achieve them or dont deserve them. But i know that one day i wont have to battle my own mind and can finally find things worth living for and work towards happiness so i wont give up :) 

Edited by Skye21
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On 4/22/2016 at 11:43 AM, scienceguy said:

i feel like you don,t understand depression sometimes if your depressed it doesn't,t mean anything you do will make you happy I wanted to **** myself in Disney world,that's not a very validating thing to say to someone with depression its like your telling them there wrong for feeling sad and if they keep working at they will earn happiness and if they don,t they failed.If your depressed you can say positive things to your self it won,t always change your mood though I hope you don,t tell that to yourself that is a heavy burden to carry.i think your a good person and trying to help anyway though.

Scienceguy,

I think you raise a valid point, and to take it a little further, I would add that depression doesn't entirely conform to rational steps and expectations.  That is, one of its more insidious aspects, is that the things that would and do make 'normal' homoclite (non-depressed) people feel good, often do not produce the same affect in those of us in the midst of depression.   I found Hairpy Burpday's post a little strong for my taste as well, though I think I can see that he meant well, and past experience confirms this.

When this has occasionally happened to me from people in my life or (more rarely) from a response on this site, I have tried to adapt a very liberal policy of extending grace an taking what good I could.  Sometimes there may be little, but in this case, I would suggest something.

There is a paradox with depression, that while the 'normal' relationship between working hard or doing things that make us happy is a little distorted....it's not 1:1 as we'd like it to be....it is still the case that there are things we can do, including experiences, habits and lifestyle choices, that will by turns make us either more miserable or less.  I have a continual struggle to try to look at things and my life from this perspective, because so often I'm just consumed in feeling awful...so I very much related to that with you.

But still, the stubborn thing remains (I believe) that we have the power to be our own best help by doing things differently, striving to change whatever doesn't seem to have worked in the past, just as subtle and sometimes difficult as that is.

That's where I find myself a lot.  And I would have to confess that I also forget to or struggle to find the energy and wherewithal to do many things that I know or believe have helped me and can help me.  And the trick is to not let these accrue to feelings of guilt and being overwhelmed, but rather realize the hope that I still have a response-ability.

We need both empathy and sometimes an empathetic but direct word to just do the next right thing.

It's not my fault I feel this way, but I do have a responsibility to do what I can to improve.

I hope that makes sense, and I applaud you for continuing to work through what I believe is one of life's most daunting challenges.

Best,

-g

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2 hours ago, Teddy545 said:

I don't have anything to live for anymore.  I use to live for my brother but now that he's a teenager he doesn't like me anymore.  I use to feel that he was the only person that ever truly loved me. 

Teddy,

Everybody gets like that in their teenage years, but the teenage years are transitional years, they are not permanent.

You guys will reconnect again and you will realize that he still loves you alot.... and also that that is not the only reason to live.

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1 hour ago, Teddy545 said:

I hope he likes me again when he's older.  I mean my life seems meaningless right now.  I living for the unknown.  I have that thing where my life experience hasn't been good so it's hard for me to expect my future to be any better. 

I can understand that.  Teens changing and coming back around in their behavior and realizing how much they value their family in later years is one of the most common things.  I was not a rebellious teen and was old before my time, but still had a know-it-all phase and a phase where I was angry at my parents (and various of my siblings for different reasons).  Time brought perspective and real maturity and even when I wasn't entirely adult in my approach to much of life, I did come around and express my love and appreciation for my family.  And I guess the hard thing, like if you're a parent is to realize that even in their rebellious / aloof phase, rest assured they need you then too.  I don't know your unique relationship with your brother, but I am one of 5, and I've seen us all ebb and flow.  I would question whether he's the only person who ever loved you as well.  We love imperfectly and often hurt the ones we love, but we ought to be cautious in equating this with an absence of being loved.  I try, but am sure I come up short in all kinds of ways, and I hope my family realizes this.

 

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2 hours ago, Teddy545 said:

I hope he likes me again when he's older.  I mean my life seems meaningless right now.  I living for the unknown.  I have that thing where my life experience hasn't been good so it's hard for me to expect my future to be any better. 

 

Thats actually how i feel teddy like I'm living for the unknown.If you have a difficult life and family its hard to find something to live for.Most people live for others,but i don,t have many people in my life so im just living for myself my goal is to be independent of my family and start over again maybe i will find a descent women and she will have a family that will accept me.

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I feel like this constantly. And I don't have anything to live for. I just heard from someone who mentioned they don't get many hugs, and haven't in over a week. I stopped for a minute to think about when the last one I had was, family or otherwise. It took me a while to think of it. July 2014. 21 months ago. Little things like that constantly remind me of the value of my life.

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 I don,t know how some people do it everyday and keep going,everything is such a struggle I want to be in bed all day but i can,t sleep i don,t want to be bymyself but then when im around people I want to be alone.I look forward to finishing college then I will wish I was back in college.I can,t wait till im done with work then when im off I want to be back at work.Life is a funny thing.

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