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Never identified as depressed, but think I need help


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Hello all,

I'm a 30-year-old woman and I don't have a family or any kind of lead on building one. I've grown apart from most of my friends as they started finding people to love them and building families and that hasn't happened for me, I've just kept watching tv, surfing the internet, wanting to drink way too much to numb myself. I'm getting over the drinking thing, but I still just don't know what to do with myself much of the time. It's like I'm paralyzed, and it's starting to really scare me. I don't want this to be my life, watching the clock til I think I can sleep (I sleep a lot). I know as I'm posting this it sounds like I don't really have any problems, and this does seem like it would be a REALLY easy problem to get over... yet here I am. 

Any advice welcome.

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Hi mg34 and welcome to DF,

I am sorry to hear that you haven't been doing so well lately. DF is a wonderful community with people who are here to support each other through the rough times, I hope you take the time to explore our site and find resources that can help you. It was nice to meet you on chat by the way.

Waffles.

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It's not easy. If we could make our lives different we would. The paralysis thing I really identify with. Lots of plans and things to do - pleasant, satisfying things that would be helpful to get done and inconvenient not to, and still can't do them. I think of it as malfunctioning. Wanting to function but unable. It's been particularly pronounced since depression onset. Are there some days you function better than others? Some days you know what needs doing and can think up a timescale to get it done? I'm going to see a private counsellor I think; perhaps you'd like to consider that too.

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Depression does not jump on you, it creeps on you. I have been depressed three times, and in every of those occasions, when I looked back, I realised that depression was creeping on me for a year or more. So, in my, totally unscientific opinion, depression is creeping on you too, ready to pounce. Fight the beast, seek help, talk to the people you know about your sickness. Depression is an ilness, like a cold, so why should you be cautious saying you have a cold? You will have to live with depression for some time, so, make it effective. Check our boards. Your experience is not unique and solutions have been found in some cases. Three months ago I was so paralysed with depression that I did not even take my thrash out, so I understand what you feel. But it is possible to overcome the grey beast, so fight sister, fight.....

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