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Worldisflat

Are we unattractive and unpopular?

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Hi

I'm not all that new around here I registered in 2009 and the I guess I never logged on again no idea why.

 

this is not to be taken as being offensive.

 

im depressed have been for 25 solid years. I'm 34 now. All that aside.

When I'm out at a pub club or at work or visiting a company I notice a lot of very attractive people about having lots of fun, they have loads of friends and seem very happy.

 

im probably average looking. Getting tubby because of comfort eating. All my friends have left my city and country I can literally barely drag myself out of bed and leave home each day.

 

long story short are attractive people less likely to be depressed? Because they seem happy and have lots of friends and attention etc. if I had that I would feel a lot better.

 

 

 

 

 

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19 minutes ago, Worldisflat said:

Hi

I'm not all that new around here I registered in 2009 and the I guess I never logged on again no idea why.

 

this is not to be taken as being offensive.

 

im depressed have been for 25 solid years. I'm 34 now. All that aside.

When I'm out at a pub club or at work or visiting a company I notice a lot of very attractive people about having lots of fun, they have loads of friends and seem very happy.

 

im probably average looking. Getting tubby because of comfort eating. All my friends have left my city and country I can literally barely drag myself out of bed and leave home each day.

 

long story short are attractive people less likely to be depressed? Because they seem happy and have lots of friends and attention etc. if I had that I would feel a lot better.

 

 

 

 

 

They probably are not (depressed) cause of their attractiveness. Depression is caused by others constantly beating you down or making you feel worthless. Nobody ever got depressed on their own someone or something pushed them to that point. If you are average that's better then being below average (Me) You have a job I have no skill can't drive a car never been on a date and i'm 46 going on 47. So I hope when you read this that the details I have given you bout my life makes you feel better. Cause it could be worse you could be me. And don't let it be me, get yourself some help if you can I guess you are still young and with that theres hope.Good luck to you sweetheart.

Edited by My empire of dirt

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Thanks yes what you say makes good sense.

im a guy but if you're gay I do t mind being called sweetheart.

i have been in and out of jobs more out than in, have spent months in bed.

i am a 34 year old virgin. What a giant loser

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I have interacted with people who are well known models and other extremely physically attractive people and on knowing them better I don't think I've met a more unhappy group (generally speaking) and rife with mental health issues. Comparing others outsides and how they seem to how we feel on the inside is never a good idea. Why do you think celebrities are so likely to have drug, drink, eating disorder, relationship issues? Problems come in different packages. Many things can be both an advantage and disadvantage in different ways. 

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7 hours ago, Worldisflat said:

Thanks yes what you say makes good sense.

im a guy but if you're gay I do t mind being called sweetheart.

i have been in and out of jobs more out than in, have spent months in bed.

i am a 34 year old virgin. What a giant loser

Sorry man I thought you where a women my bad.

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14 minutes ago, TopekaK said:

Anyone care to define "attractive"?  

Heres what is "not attractive" no teeth (Me), Overweight (Me), no job (Me),, no car can't drive (Me)

People like me are shutout of life, and with no insurance I can't fix the teeth problem the weight problem I guess I could try starving myself. The job thing is basically impossible with no skills of any kind. I needed my father who wasn't around and a strong extended family to help me thru my awkward early yrs but they where not there. Now is the final result you see before you,  a broken man in spirit and in heart.

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6 minutes ago, My empire of dirt said:

Heres what is "not attractive" no teeth (Me), Overweight (Me), no job (Me),, no car can't drive (Me)

People like me are shutout of life, and with no insurance I can't fix the teeth problem the weight problem I guess I could try starving myself. The job thing is basically impossible with no skills of any kind. I needed my father who wasn't around and a strong extended family to help me thru my awkward early yrs but they where not there. Now is the final result you see before you,  a broken man in spirit and in heart.

I don't see anything before me, (except for Cash) but I understand what  it means to feel broken.

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That is pretty hard luck my empire of dirt. Well done for being so strong and not giving up.

i am definitely better off in looks by the sound of things but it hasn't brought me any luck.

definition of attractive: you don't get ignored all time because you there are much better looking men in the room. When you speak people don't ignore you because they're zoned in on your attractive friends. You get jobs, and all kinds of special treatment because people love having something aesthetically pleasing to interact with. They get positive affirmations wherever they go, people treat them like gold instead of nicol.

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The thing is that attraction is about more than the physical I find. For me anyway, I think we have probably all known someone that wasnn't conventionally good looking and that both we and others have found attractive. It usually requires a bit of confidence which I know is hard to have if one doesnt fit into a particular little box in our evaluating world. I think a lot of times it is that self consciousness and judgment that makes things that much harder. Harder to just be who we are. 

I certainly dont think you are a loser. I wonder if it would help you to work on your confidence and social skills, There are a lot of courses out there one can do if you are looking to make things better. CbT may help too. Thinking you are a loser is a sure way to stop things flowing in life. A self fulfilling prophecy. Comparing yourself is something you dont want to do. 

I would also look at the basics and make sure those are OK. Do you have good personal hygiene and decent manners. Do you look groomed and clean? Do your clothes fit? What does your body language say? My empire of dirt, I would see if you can somehow get some dentures. 

I think merely giving up this idea that being conventionally attractive is some sort of gold card that guarantees a perfect life and happiness is a good start. Truly, some of the people I have met who feel worst about how they look have been models. Being good looking can also make people be targets for victimisation and sometimes not taken seriously. There  are disadvantages to most situations and the important thing is to make the most of your life and make it work for you. I hope things get better. 

Edited by Fizzle

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I think I'm somewhat attractive ,i have had women pursue me,i think the only thing it does is make people ignore me instead of bully me if they don,t like me,i don,t have a super masculine personality or a lot of friends,i feel like people expect me to.im used to distancing myself from people so i don,t know how normal social circles work for people in my age range i don,t use any social media but facebook,so im not sure how most people operate to judge each others worth or whats popular attractive etc.i never really understood the concept of populairty in high school i just wanted to do what i wanted to do and didn,t give a what people thought about me,but as i have gotten older i noticed I have to at least pretend I care to fit in,so im not constantly dealing with people pestering me about whats normal and why do i what i do.

i have told me I don,t care if I fit in if they don,t like me how i am then leave me alone and stop bothering me.even when i pretend im friendly and happy I feel like a outsider.I feel like i need a manual to tell me who im suppose to be to fit in with society.What am i suppose to pretend i care how long im suppose to be by myself how long am I suppose to be around other people,i don,t have any idea what i want in life right now,I feel like i just don,t understand or fit in with society it just feels really unatural for me to try to maintain relationships with people I try anyway despite this and i still feel alone and empty,whether im around others or by myself.When i hear people say there friends are gone,it always seems to hold more emotional weight then it does when I say it.I feel like I care what other people think of me but resent them at the same time because i then have to live up to soceities standards to gain other peoples acceptance,I never expect other people to be anyone but who they want to be ,it aggravates me that most people don,t think like me.It just all seems like bulls***

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Interesting man. Maybe you have a low level of social autism or something. Sounds pretty tricky. Are you depressed and lonely or do you manage to satisfy your social needs on those plastic kind of friends?

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22 minutes ago, Worldisflat said:

Interesting man. Maybe you have a low level of social autism or something. Sounds pretty tricky. Are you depressed and lonely or do you manage to satisfy your social needs on those plastic kind of friends?

i am very depressed and lonely,I have been going to therapy for years because it makes me depressed the feeling of detachment towards everything. i hope its not autism because that would suck,I have never felt my needs satisfied in my whole life.i have been going to therapy for so long and I hope I can be helped still.I planned to off myself less then a year ago and went to outpatient over these issues.That's like a death sentence to me,i don,t know what I would have to look forward to in life.i don,t consider them friends anymore,i don,t call people I don,t connect with my friends,most of them are just aquaintances to me.i started binge drinking to cope with my life after i got out of outpatient but I had to quit because i started getting extremely bad acid reflux.i feel confused in therapy because i don,t know what im suppose to want anymore,I can,t maintain interest in anything i don,t like being around others and i don,t like being by myself.I just don,t know what I need or want to do in any facet of my life.Sorry if I sound like im complaining

Edited by scienceguy

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Well I call my dad low level autism as do my family. He doesn't talk much and is s works of his own. He has no friends but he's perfectly happy with himself.

 

so I wouldn't place you in that category at all. Like me you are yearning for friendships.

 

i have no idea. Women spurn me all the time everything just doesn't work for me like it does for everyone else.

 

ive been suicidal many times as well. Anyway we carry on. I just wish I was earning enough money to not live at my mom and awhile bunch of things. It's all purely down to a lot of pain and being completely ordinary in every respect in my case

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3 minutes ago, Worldisflat said:

Well I call my dad low level autism as do my family. He doesn't talk much and is s works of his own. He has no friends but he's perfectly happy with himself.

 

so I wouldn't place you in that category at all. Like me you are yearning for friendships.

 

i have no idea. Women spurn me all the time everything just doesn't work for me like it does for everyone else.

 

ive been suicidal many times as well. Anyway we carry on. I just wish I was earning enough money to not live at my mom and awhile bunch of things. It's all purely down to a lot of pain and being completely ordinary in every respect in my case

i can,t relate to feeling good on my own like your dad atleast you know he's happy,when he is by himself.i have flirted with alot of women most of the ones i have been interested had boyfriends and the women who pursued me I wasn,t into,the dates i went it didn,t work out because i am not in a good place financially i can barely afford food right now and my parents have to move in with me to help me pay my till,till i get a fulltime job when I graduate college this semester.

i can relate to things not working out that always happens to me but alot of the time i belive its my fault because i act like a s***ty person and im so focused on my own drama that i alienate people.im not suicidal now I have been doing really good lately except for today .im bipolar and out of my mood stabilisers,i feel like im crashing now i havent been able to get ahold of my psychiatrist because i have been so busy with school.

Those people you see that are attractive and popular there not friends they just use each other for ego boosts,I have hung out with people that would be considered popular and most of them are cut throat there obsessed with there image,there isn,t alot of stuff you can talk about with out making yourself look bad and getting alienated from the group you have to act like a bit of a a****** to fit in with them,alot of them have drug problems,drinking problems.Some of them do have easier lives but they become narascisstic from all the attention they have gotten since childhood

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Quick test reply. I tried before and it said I have been banned from the site!!!!! ***?

Thanks for you insight scienceguy.

I'm pretty sure you will be okay, you're young just take it day by day.

Get hold of your psychiatrist. I will reply further when I know I'm not banned for doing nothing!

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Man I swear the last thing you need when you're already feeling unloved and unpopular is for the web admin to ban you or for a system error to ban you.

My pc is working, but I'm banned on my iphone.

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Dude girls don't even let me get to the first date, they normally stop texting me after 10 messages. They apparently don't like hi.... how are u...... hope you're having a good day........ are you keen for dinner this Wednesday?

 

That's as far as I get b4 I get silence and I don't bother further

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Have you emailed staff via the Contact Us option World is flat? If you havent been misbehaving ;-) then it will be one of the birthing problems with the new site, Good luck.

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I'm an attractive woman who's depressed, so no, that's not always true. I'm very self-conscious about my voice, though. I believe people think I'm dumb just because my voice sounds dumb. So even attractive people can be self-conscious about at least ONE thing, if not more!

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On 2/21/2016 at 2:46 PM, Worldisflat said:

Dude girls don't even let me get to the first date, they normally stop texting me after 10 messages. They apparently don't like hi.... how are u...... hope you're having a good day........ are you keen for dinner this Wednesday?

 

That's as far as I get b4 I get silence and I don't bother further

Same thing happens to me. Needless to say it destroys what little confidence I have when trying to meet someone and adds to my worry about being alone for the rest of my life.

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