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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)

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Just had my second interview with a company. Hopefully it went well --- I think it did. He asked some tough questions, but I got through them OK. Hopefully I'll be invited in for the third interview! Going away this weekend so I won't be around, but I'll be back on Monday to check in with everyone! Hugs to all who are suffering! :hugs:

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3 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Just had my second interview with a company. Hopefully it went well --- I think it did. He asked some tough questions, but I got through them OK. Hopefully I'll be invited in for the third interview! Going away this weekend so I won't be around, but I'll be back on Monday to check in with everyone! Hugs to all who are suffering! :hugs:

Hope all goes well River. I've said this before but you deserve the best! :-)

Have a nice weekend!

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53 minutes ago, Barrier Maiden said:

I'm feeling all right. For the first time in almost ten years, I have a job. It's minimum wage working for a Halloween store for a few months (this one opens in freaking August, lol), but it's something. :yay:

Congratulations!  It's a step.

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8 hours ago, Barrier Maiden said:

I'm feeling all right. For the first time in almost ten years, I have a job. It's minimum wage working for a Halloween store for a few months (this one opens in freaking August, lol), but it's something. :yay:

As someone who hasn't had a job in almost 5 years, this is amazing! How did you do it?

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3 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

As someone who hasn't had a job in almost 5 years, this is amazing! How did you do it?

Because my family has so little income (just my mom's social security checks), I was able to get into a vocational rehabilitation program for free. My job coach is straight-up amazing--she helped me apply for dozens of jobs and prep for interviews. In interviews I stretch the truth a bit to explain the employment gap, which I don't feel great about--but if I was honest no one would even give me a chance. And all I want is a chance to prove I'm a good worker.

Edited by Barrier Maiden

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I saw my psychologist today.  I asked him how can I survive without love?  I made a gf.  He made some excuses. 

I told him I want to get rid of my infatuation with "Nancy."   He said when I am working on something I like such as working on my car my mind will not think about "Nancy."   Like DUH it does not work for me.  My mind is all over the place.  

Towards the end of my session my psychologist told me I have a deeper layer of depression than previously thought.  Now he is telling me this after seeing him for over two years.

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15 hours ago, nightrose said:

I haven't posted in a while because I was doing some other stuff.  I'm trying some new vitamin supplements which seem to be helping.  Went for a short walk this morning - it was really beautiful outside.  

Glad to hear you are doing better.

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14 hours ago, Barrier Maiden said:

I'm feeling all right. For the first time in almost ten years, I have a job. It's minimum wage working for a Halloween store for a few months (this one opens in freaking August, lol), but it's something. :yay:

Kick ass!! :-)

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Feeling really.. I haven.t a clue to be honest.

Not "I want to end it all"- histrionics - but neither anything else... much.

I feel the sun on my back as I write. It.s good. Cold barley alcohol beverage in front of me.. swam a mile, worked out, cleaned up..

I suppose in my books, not too bad.

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So it's official we are done with my bf...I thought about drinking, smoking, etc but why should I destroy myself for his lies ? The withdrawal is still hell, brain zaps are strong, and so is my irritability. I am going to take a drive alone like 2 hours away, to give me some air, I need it. I hope everyone has a nice weekenD!

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2 hours ago, duck said:

Great question.   I have the same question too.

I feel the same

But.. there IS something.

My moodswings dictate a lot as to how I think..

But listening to you guys on df..

Perhaps the point of our existance NOW. is this.. on df.. comparing notes. It could be a start.

 

 

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18 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

So it's official we are done with my bf...I thought about drinking, smoking, etc but why should I destroy myself for his lies ? The withdrawal is still hell, brain zaps are strong, and so is my irritability. I am going to take a drive alone like 2 hours away, to give me some air, I need it. I hope everyone has a nice weekenD!

Hugs Ladysmurf.

Hope you have a nice weekend too.

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Nooo, not again... ><'' Time to start the pills... Just when I thought that I wouldn't have to never use them again. Not talking about antidepressants... Ughh, what else I can do than take them when there's no cure to this illness. :(

I feel scared but ok...

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On July 27, 2016 at 6:08 PM, Barrier Maiden said:

I had some place I'm interviewing for this Monday ask for professional references and made them required fields. I don't have professional references because I haven't worked in ten years. So I just put in personal references. They don't like it, f--- 'em. So many bulls--- hoops to jump through just to work. I hate it, too.

@Barrier Maiden This is genius! Thanks, I have quite a few personal references, so thank you, thank you! That's what I'm going for.

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My job stuff...I want to create my own writing business, but really, I want to write poetry, novels, and essays about baseball. Those things (probably) don't make money. Although I've started blogging about baseball, I haven't made my posts public yet.

So, I want a part-time job to to help me appease my guilt over not making money. Also, there are material things I want, such as the ability to travel and visit friends. A part time job will help with some of my guilt over my desire to take a small trip to visit friends. 

Another thing I've thought of doing to give myself money is to close a retirement account that I don't add to. It's a state pension fund. I think I'm eligible to withdraw it all. It's a very small amount of money, but it will help with fixing the brakes on my car.

I'm thinking out loud here, but now I have a strategy for finishing at least one application!

As for how I'm feeling: mixture of emotions. I tapped into feelings about being raped when I was 17, when I went to see my therapist on Thursday. I'm still trying to get back into my body.  Part of the traveling I want to do is to visit the place where it happened and smudge it or clean it in some way. But I can't imagine being there alone and I don't know who would come with me.

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36 minutes ago, Wisteria said:

Nooo, not again... ><'' Time to start the pills... Just when I thought that I wouldn't have to never use them again. Not talking about antidepressants... Ughh, what else I can do than take them when there's no cure to this illness. :(

I feel scared but ok...

Hugs..

You are not alone!

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