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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)

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52 minutes ago, Natasha1 said:

I really really really really hate those.  I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Almost created another one this morning. Thankfully I had a buddy on DF help me through that one and nothing happened.

Maybe it's not as bad as you think TS?

I've been following your blog.. errrr... that's not all your fault.
 

Edited by Twilight Sky

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For What You All Mean to Me, Courtesy of W. Shakespeare
 
 
When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
       For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
       That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
 

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I ended up getting adjustments to my workload at work. I had to choose between a 97% boring job and a 60% boring job.

Never would I have thought that a 97% boring job would be legitimately healthier and more productive for me than doing several things that I actually liked. But that's what slavery does to you. If you overwork too much, you start losing interest in things you like, even at home after your shift. At least the boring job has flexible breaks so I can socialize, listen to music, make phone calls if I need some productivity or to breathe.

It just goes to show that some people manage their company in such a poor way that create difficulties for the sake of it because that's what they do. But that's what happens when someone needs to execute long and grueling and boring tasks that no one wants to do. I just have do something that suits my personality for my own safety. If I don't like to clean, making me clean 10 times more than usual will screw up the way I see others. It's not safe for me to forcefeed things that aren't designed for me down my own throat. If they fire me, which already happened many times, I won't have anymore money to waste away. My mother wants to keep putting me in danger by making me forcefeed myself, but I know there are people like that in this world.

 

Edited by The_Unwanted

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That feeling when you make plans to have a great time with some friends but one of them bails and the other doesn't want to do it anymore because of that.

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A bit worried. The EMTs just came to my neighbor's across the street. Hoping nothing major is wrong but the poor man's health has just gone downhill since he retired.

 

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Like I've gotten the air punched out of me. After all I've done and how far I've come despite all my issues, and a co-worker had the nerve to.. She basically called me the r-word. It was what was implied. She talked to me like I was a little kid. In a "friendly" way but still. I don't get it. I work harder than most people there. I haven't made a single mistake since I started. Is it that my back is bad so I look slightly hunched and awkward? Is it that I'm skinny and sickly looking from all the years of depression? Is that why she thinks I'm inferior to her, because of my awkward looks, is she that shallow and naive? I just wanted to be treated like an equal, guess that's not happening. Honestly she made me realize it's actually the opposite, she's so far below me she can't even observe the most basic facts and lives in a fantasy world where I'm r*******. Damn it, I don't want to go back to the bitter phase where I absolutely despise people. But this is bringing some old suppressed emotions to the surface.

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Have been doing some overtime so I'm here at work this morning able to function but pretty close to exhaustion. Hanging around my area singing to myself... L is for the way you look at me... Sure I feel great right now but I'm being careful so I don't let my hopes build up too high. Christine making me wait is only making it harder for on me.

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20 minutes ago, verDominai said:

Like I've gotten the air punched out of me. After all I've done and how far I've come despite all my issues, and a co-worker had the nerve to.. She basically called me the r-word. It was what was implied. She talked to me like I was a little kid. In a "friendly" way but still. I don't get it. I work harder than most people there. I haven't made a single mistake since I started. Is it that my back is bad so I look slightly hunched and awkward? Is it that I'm skinny and sickly looking from all the years of depression? Is that why she thinks I'm inferior to her, because of my awkward looks, is she that shallow and naive? I just wanted to be treated like an equal, guess that's not happening. Honestly she made me realize it's actually the opposite, she's so far below me she can't even observe the most basic facts and lives in a fantasy world where I'm r*******. Damn it, I don't want to go back to the bitter phase where I absolutely despise people. But this is bringing some old suppressed emotions to the surface.

So sorry Ver!!!  You are a far from a r!!!!  So far! I can tell from your correspondence.  If it is the way you look, then she is just one of the many shallow ones, dude.  Plenty of them to go around. I wish we had an island we could put those people on.

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4 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

So sorry Ver!!!  You are a far from a r!!!!  So far! I can tell from your correspondence.  If it is the way you look, then she is just one of the many shallow ones, dude.  Plenty of them to go around. I wish we had an island we could put those people on.

Yup.. I'm gonna confront her about it on Monday and tell her that I don't appreciate it. I was too surprised by it to really react today. I'll leave out the part that it made me want to quit work on the day and go jump off a bridge though.

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I wish I had gotten into user experience design..... I would love to be more of a web designer. But it's too late to start over in a new discipline. I keep seeing these jobs and think I would love to do that. Guess I'm not quite watching movies, but am looking through my emails at jobs, lol.

Edited by RiverLight

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Right now I feel anxious, to the point of shaking and breathing funny. I am worried and stressed and scared. I hope it passes soon.

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Really loud buzzing/whining/white noise in my head.

Things look strange but no different.

Intensely lonely and alien, like everyone is another species to me and I know I'll never be able to communicate with them.

Able to cry if I speak, or am spoken to, or think of speaking.

Can't perform a series of simple tasks.

But let's be practical about this, people.

Don't cry in the bath, you'll get an eye infection.

Don't cry in bed or your eyelids swell shut in the morning.

And it is an illness.

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