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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)

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A little miffed. I've developed "tennis elbow" from riding my motorcycle. Trying to get it under control with some ibuprofen.

Hey, roadking, how's the 300 running? Oh, yeah. Also, try to cut yourself a little slack. You're awesome.

Peace

 

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Unsure of myself.  Feeling better in general, but there are specifics that are challenging and I don't want for any of them to bring me lower.  Interpersonal things, professional things, health issues, artistic things.  Why isn't life easier?  I want to go to sleep and not wake up.  It's 12:30 and it will be hours before I close my eyes.  Sometimes I feel like a coward--a word my mother throws around freely to anyone--and I don't want to be a coward.  There's the resiliency factor.  How much resilience do you retain as you age?  The ability to bounce back after disappointment diminishes, I think. 

I've applied for so many professorships that I haven't gotten; I've worked so many jobs out of my field that there were times when my eye was no longer on the prize.  I guess I'll just keep on writing.

 

Edited by womanofthelight
typo

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I didn't get much sleep last night. I had way too much anxiety , my heart rate was going way too fast. I am going to see my therapist today, so that's something to be happy about. Other than that same old thing..

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I am feeling despondent. It's been four days since the great disappointment and now I just feel anxious and reluctant about going back to work. I haven't applied for a single job this week. I couldn't muster up the energy... I have lost steam. Now I will have to return to work and look for work and it could take months...... I am so sick of this process and of the disappointment. Losing the job offer with Staples... now Velcro.

I am hoping that the Velcro disappointment was a blessing in disguise. I had read that they've had seven presidents in the last few years..... SEVEN. That speaks to internal instability for sure. Plus the company has some very mixed reviews by internal employees. For all I know, it could have sucked, and I may have wanted to look for another job after 6 months. I am trying to find any positives that I can in this awful situation.

I would love it if I could report to someone else in my company when I go back to work, and not my boss. She apparently hired a PR and Marketing Manager.... maybe I can report to that person.... or maybe I'll get laid off. I wouldn't mind being laid off....

My mom thinks facing my bully of a boss will be good for me. I don't know. She thinks I need to learn skills in dealing with difficult people. But I already have dealt with many difficult personalities at work. How much longer do I need to go through this??? Enough is enough already. :/

 

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14 minutes ago, LaurynJcat said:

Know we are all with you in spirit as you face your boss again. Did you hear from your company yet? That could be good if you report to someone other than your boss. 

Thanks Lauryn! :hugs:That means a lot to me! HR is on vacation this week so I should hear from them Monday. :/ Would be great if there was someone else to report to!!!

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Happy Midsummer to everyone who celebrate it or live in a place where it is celebrated on this weekend! :bestwishes:

Otherwise feeling a bit lonely... At least there's a family, when everyone else are celebrating it with friends or a partner. :(

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My entire life is a complete and total waste of time. I dread waking up every day. I don't belong on this earth.

My feelings every instance, in a nutshell. I did not choose to be useless.

Edited by The_Unwanted

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I don't know how I feel honestly. I woke up with a fast heart rate as usual. Thankfully those beta blockers exist. My mom has the weekend off so I think I will spend some time with her. I am anxious because I have like 2-3 appointments next week with doctors, trying to see if anything will work......Everyone have a good weekend!

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Pretty comfy. The ipod I ordered came in the mail, so I'm testing it out. And it's fulfilling its purpose pretty great. It's been 5 hours since I started listening to a playlist and it just flew by like a moment even though I haven't been doing much else while doing so. This beautiful thing will eliminate those times at work when there's nothing to do and time feels like it's stopped.

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