The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)

[RiverLight 11,937]

9 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

Very anxious. I want to cry. I wish something would just work so I can go on with my life. I am so bored inside my house and I miss being outside in the real world. At least the dog is by my side..Everyone have a good day

Can you go to your local community center for free classes or a recreational activity or something? We have an adult community center here that offers either low cost or free classes. Or maybe you could sign up for an online course? Something easy and/or fun to do? I don't know what your finances are like right now, but maybe it would help if you had more activities. ((((((((Hugs)))))))

[RiverLight 11,937]

I've shared this song before, but I just talked to Chris on FB and reminded him of how much his song positively influences me.

I am going to play this song over and over again today to help lift my spirits. I will not let my boss tear me down..

Reinvent Yourself, Chris Chickering

When you're all alone and cryin' in a doorway
And you haven't got a second chance to lose
When you've tried it all, and hit the wall and dyin'
And you're on your own, with nothing left to choose

Reinvent yourself, it's time
Reinvent yourself, and fly

With your head up high
And the answers to guide you
Reinvent yourself
You'll be turnin' it all around

When you're underground, beaten down and bleeding
And the claws of cold have cast your dreams aside
You can break the chains that cut your veins, it's easy
Just free yourself with a whole new state of mind

Reinvent Yourself, it's time
Reinvent yourself, and fly

With your head up high
And the answers to guide you
Reinvent yourself
You'll be turnin' it all around

When it's inside-outside-inside, consultation
Your dream-master will show you what to do
He's you're mirror, and truth-teller. He's gonna tell you
"Phoenix fly with a whole new point of view"

And Reinvent Yourself, it's time
Reinvent yourself, and fly

With your head up high
And the past behind you
Reinvent yourself
And you'll be turnin' it all around

 

Song:

https://www.reverbnation.com/artist/video/8226590

[Dolphin2013 7,645]

big hugs and wishes for the best for everyone here.

I'm having a little downtime before I get to work, but I'm distracted.

[Lynn1954 577]

Overwhelming sadness for me today.

I'm so glad you're here, Internet Friends, for me to write to.

[salparadise6132 11,725]

1 hour ago, Lynn1954 said:

Overwhelming sadness for me today.

I'm so glad you're here, Internet Friends, for me to write to.

Hugs Lynn!!!!

[Abandonedalways 4,527]

Loves to all you hurting today. Wish it wasn't so.

 

My coffee tastes bitter. Grrrr.

[womanofthelight 4,471]

On 6/20/2016 at 10:31 PM, wanderer82 said:

I'm feeling tired and little numb, but better than most of the day.  Depression rears its ugly head in so many different ways.  Today I was suffocated by an overwhelming sadness and broke down crying twice - once while making a sandwich on my lunch break and again immediately when I got home from work.  

I forced myself to do something productive after waking up from a nap, the crying spells left me extra exhausted.  I planted some cacti and succulents that had been sitting on my front porch.  It was a nice distraction.  Now the night winding down and I feel a little overwhelmed by the few small routine things I have to do before bed.  God, even shaving and brushing my teeth feels like a monumental task.  

I hate it--and understand--that waves of sadness can come on unexpectedly and leave you wrung out.  Depression is an insidious thing and some suffer with it all their lives.  Are you on any medication(s)? 

I reached a point several years ago when I just HAD to get some help.  I was living in California at the time and, on my way to an appointment with my internist, and saw an animal, dead in the road.  It sent me over the edge.  It was the straw that broke the camel's back, as the saying goes.  I don't know how I made it to the clinic (god?  guardian angel?), because my eyes were blinded by tears.  I sat in the waiting room crying uncontrollably--I could not stop.  A woman, also a patient, said to me "You need help.  You don't have to wait.  Go ask them to help you."  And so I did.  I was asked the usual questions people ask when they see someone like me.  Was I being abused?  Did I feel safe at home?  There was a confluence of issues plaguing me, one of which was a job I despised and didn't know if I could continue.  I would cry on the way to work and cry on the way home. 

Anyway, I was put on a couple of antidepressants which really helped.  They made the dark voice in my head  which said things like: "Look at your life--it's a mess."  "You're a loser."  You'll never do anything that matters."  "No man will ever love you the way you want him to."--barely audible, and though I know the potential for the dark voice to gather strength was still there, a Voice of Light emerged to combat the dark one, and made my life a little easier.

If you're not on medication, please think about it; research it; and ask for it.  If you're already on medication, see about having it changed. 

Most people just don't understand depression.  We, here, do, and are available to help each other through the dark moments.  Keep writing.

WOTL

[RiverLight 11,937]

Well, that song did not help me today....... I have been a complete zombie. Depression has hit me hard today. I couldn't bring myself to look at jobs. All I can do was stare zombie like at my computer. I've been teary all day. :/

[idkusername465 1,685]

14 hours ago, Abandonedalways said:

Feel like getting lost in music for a couple days. Piano, take me away.

I recommend some Yiruma hes very good 

[Donaldopato 1,089]

Really depressed and unable to focus. Mind all over the place, especially where it should not be. Looked to see if I took my meds today. Seems I did... not sure what is going on. 

[anita_123 2,096]

1 hour ago, Donaldopato said:

Really depressed and unable to focus. Mind all over the place, especially where it should not be. Looked to see if I took my meds today. Seems I did... not sure what is going on. 

((Hugs))

[anita_123 2,096]

It's currently 5am and I'm studying my ass off to catch up with all the time loss to me moping in bed for the past weeks. 

I've been so self centered with my feelings that I neglect everyone else's. Oh god, not only am I angry and sad but also just a horrible Biotch.

[mulberrypie 5,071]

2 hours ago, RiverLight said:

Well, that song did not help me today....... I have been a complete zombie. Depression has hit me hard today. I couldn't bring myself to look at jobs. All I can do was stare zombie like at my computer. I've been teary all day. :/

((((((((((((((((RiverLight))))))))))))))!!!!

[mulberrypie 5,071]

14 minutes ago, anita_123 said:

It's currently 5am and I'm studying my ass off to catch up with all the time loss to me moping in bed for the past weeks. 

I've been so self centered with my feelings that I neglect everyone else's. Oh god, not only am I angry and sad but also just a horrible Biotch.

Oh no you're not!!! (((((((((anita)))))))))

[RiverLight 11,937]

7 minutes ago, mulberrypie said:

((((((((((((((((RiverLight))))))))))))))!!!!

Thanks mulberry!!!!!

[mulberrypie 5,071]

5 hours ago, Lynn1954 said:

Overwhelming sadness for me today.

I'm so glad you're here, Internet Friends, for me to write to.

((((((((((((((Lynn))))))))))))!!!!!

[RiverLight 11,937]

Now I am overwhelmed by bitterness and anger. I mean, really. Had I known that there was someone with inside connections for this job, I never would have gotten my hopes up. Who stands a chance with inside connections? I worked so damn hard at that application, the interview prep and more, all for nothing. Yep, I am very bitter, more than I think I ever have felt before.

[samadhiSheol 7,660]

5 hours ago, Lynn1954 said:

Overwhelming sadness for me today.

I'm so glad you're here, Internet Friends, for me to write to.

I feel exactly the same.

And you people are just awesome.

[mulberrypie 5,071]

3 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Now I am overwhelmed by bitterness and anger. I mean, really. Had I known that there was someone with inside connections for this job, I never would have gotten my hopes up. Who stands a chance with inside connections? I worked so damn hard at that application, the interview prep and more, all for nothing. Yep, I am very bitter, more than I think I ever have felt before.

I don't blame you for feeling this way, not one bit. What a rotten, lowdown nasty and sucky thing for them to have done. So sorry. *hugs*

[samadhiSheol 7,660]

7 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Now I am overwhelmed by bitterness and anger. I mean, really. Had I known that there was someone with inside connections for this job, I never would have gotten my hopes up. Who stands a chance with inside connections? I worked so damn hard at that application, the interview prep and more, all for nothing. Yep, I am very bitter, more than I think I ever have felt before.

Same happened to me a couple of times in the past. Sympathies!

[RiverLight 11,937]

10 minutes ago, mulberrypie said:

I don't blame you for feeling this way, not one bit. What a rotten, lowdown nasty and sucky thing for them to have done. So sorry. *hugs*

YES. Rotten! Thanks mulberry!!

9 minutes ago, Searchingforasoul said:

Same happened to me a couple of times in the past. Sympathies!

Ugh! Sooo maddening!!!! Thank you Searchingforasoul!

I literally want to scream, kick, cry and throw things I am that angry. I believe they even changed their minds about what they wanted through the interview process...... I am beyond bitter. I should have been applying for other jobs too, but I put so much effort into this one, I didn't. Stupid stupid me.

Edited June 22, 2016 by RiverLight

[salparadise6132 11,725]

38 minutes ago, anita_123 said:

It's currently 5am and I'm studying my ass off to catch up with all the time loss to me moping in bed for the past weeks. 

I've been so self centered with my feelings that I neglect everyone else's. Oh god, not only am I angry and sad but also just a horrible Biotch.

Nope, pretty sure you are not that, anita!!!  Hope you feel better!!

17 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Now I am overwhelmed by bitterness and anger. I mean, really. Had I known that there was someone with inside connections for this job, I never would have gotten my hopes up. Who stands a chance with inside connections? I worked so damn hard at that application, the interview prep and more, all for nothing. Yep, I am very bitter, more than I think I ever have felt before.

Nothing productive to say, Riv, other that I know you are a competent person and you will find something and anger will eat you up.  The old "inside candidate" trick is so deceitful and, sadly, so common.  Especially maddening given all the work you did for them.  I would never have thought of it but it might be a question you could ask up front next time?  People can be such ********!!!!!!

 

[salparadise6132 11,725]

Not sure.  I was so high yesterday, having been given the news that my girl "friend" is not interested in me.  Weird, but that removed my anxiety and made me feel good - you know, just to know for sure what's going on.  Now, time to move on.  

Anyway, drank too much last night which brought on a dip and a entirely different perspective today.  That'll teach me. Maybe.

[RiverLight 11,937]

3 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

Nothing productive to say, Riv, other that I know you are a competent person and you will find something and anger will eat you up.  The old "inside candidate" trick is so deceitful and, sadly, so common.  Especially maddening given all the work you did for them.  I would never have thought of it but it might be a question you could ask up front next time?  People can be such ********!!!!!!

 

Thank, Bri. Yep, I hadn't thought of it either, but I should have asked about the competition. Brutal lesson learned. **** them.

Edited June 22, 2016 by RiverLight

[samadhiSheol 7,660]

21 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

YES. Rotten! Thanks mulberry!!

Ugh! Sooo maddening!!!! Thank you Searchingforasoul!

I literally want to scream, kick, cry and throw things I am that angry. I believe they even changed their minds about what they wanted through the interview process...... I am beyond bitter. I should have been applying for other jobs too, but I put so much effort into this one, I didn't. Stupid stupid me.

RiverLight, you are anything but stupid.