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The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)


Lindsay

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Saw my pdoc today.  After two years he is starting to understand me.  I told him I am very angry all the time and I dislike living.  He understand I am very unhappy.  He wants me to start a six week program at our local hospital.  I really don't want to.  I am afraid I will not fit in the group.

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10 hours ago, RiverLight said:

ladysmurf,

a-positive-attitude-gives-y.jpg

In order to deal with & accept your present circumstances, I think it would help to turn your perspective around.... sometimes, it really is just a matter of how we view things, as I mentioned above. Your life doesn't need to be over just because you have depression and anxiety. Just depends on how you look at it. ((((hugs))))

Thanks River light.   I am very afraid of my finances.I don't think my future will be any better than my present.

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A complex cluster of cr** lies in wait at the back of this dirty cavern of a mind. But I'm doing my best to avoid confronting it all at the minute. Don't want to ever confront it. I know all I've been doing all my life is running, but it's only been proven to me that facing it just makes things worse. I think? Yeah, my mind's mess under the surface but I'm otherwise maintaining a VERY fragile semblance of control. For now.

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41 minutes ago, Natasha1 said:

most...

 

Just some big hugs Natasha!!!!  I'm so sorry you are having this kind of crappy day!!

It's true that anything can happen in our lives at anytime.  But, the paranoid thoughts you are having are a symptom of your mind and your disease (our disease).  They are an exaggeration.  They are NOT reality!!!!  

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My head hurts a little and my mood is starting to sink deeper.I was able to get through today on the ok ish side despite feeling really low then I had the added stress of calling the pdoc`s office and the pharmacy.I know that doesn`t sound like a big deal but I hate talking on the phone to other people it makes me nervous.Well anyway I got most of my meds tonight.Now as the evening sets in my mood starts to sink even lower.I hate feeling like this.I hate that these awful feelings come over me.I`m so tired of it all.It`s just hard to get of bed in the morning and get through the day.It`s all so tiring.

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Feeling pretty inspired and motivated. Gonna spend the weekend making a layout of how I want this apartment to look when fully decorated (it's bigger than my last one and even then I didn't have much so it's pretty empty right now) as well as what kind of pictures I want for what rooms and where in them, and then request more work hours next week so I can more easily afford the furniture I'm eyeing.

Oh, and that fungus I posted about earlier in this thread wasn't fungus after all. There's still a water leak but it's fixable. Lol, I really need to stop jumping to the worst possible conclusions right away.

Edited by verDominai
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17 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

I've accepted the past. I just wish some type of treatment would work for the future. That way I can live a better future than my past. I am hanging in there and I am thinking of everyone struggling with the same issues.

I am too tired to get out of bed, and leave the house. I really have no desire to see anyone. I just ordered some Thai food in hopes of making me feel better. It's my favorite food so that might help.

Big hug to you, Lady Smurf.  It's okay to stay in and take care of yourself.  I'm glad you find joy in Thai Food.  I know we all struggle to be sure that we do leave our homes and see the sunshine, but sometimes it is okay to stay in and just take care of yourself.  Be well. 

Someday, I will reply to your question about klonopin, but I, of course, have been freaking out off and on this week about my doctor's appt. on Friday.  But I will be better on Saturday, when I know whether this doctor will be helpful or not.  I can adjust to the new reality of being tired most of the time - I just need a doctor who takes me seriously.  But this particular hospital/institute has a good reputation so I am trying to be hopeful.

It is late (again), but there is a wonderful thunderstorm outside and the sound of rain coming down.  I will pay for this late night, but I do love these moments of quiet in the night when I can hear the rain. 

I have many quotes on my refrigerator, and this one seems appropriate for you:

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"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."  Marcia Robinson

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And from me: 

" I've made so god d*mned much lemonade from lemons that I could start a global lemonade corporation" 

Edited by nightrose
spelling errors (grr...)
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10 hours ago, One More Red Nightmare said:

0

It was too much. I bailed early on Wednesday. I won't go to office on Thursday and Friday. Gone.  

:console: Sorry to hear that, Red.. I wish you the best and hope you'll get those numbers back up soon.

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@LaurynJcat thanks for the well wishes!!!! :hugs:

I know that at least I will have tried my hardest to get this job. I am trying not to think about what needs to happen if I don't, ie, I have to go back to my rotten job and my rotten boss. :/ Let's hope not. Exactly one week to go now 'til my interviews.

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jittery, worried since 5:36 am. but I start the day with counseling. lots of stressful things have happened and I woke up worrying about them. they're my counseling topics. 

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My mantra for the next week: I am worthy I am worthy I am worthy I am worthy!!!!! I know I can do this.... I have it in me.... now I just need to convince them that I am THE one to hire.... not only that, but to give me that 40K raise! It's not just the money..... this position is perfect for the next step in my career. I'm really excited about it.

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