The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)

[Twilight Sky]

I greatly appreciate someone. They know who they are.

[scienceguy]

1 hour ago, SenorDomino said:

Not a fan of it myself but that's some pretty harsh prejudice to which some very talented dancers would take offense.

its not my problem if they take offense its not like there doing balley im sure men aren,t sitting there and going this is the most talented pole dancer I ever saw im going to this club let go guys, look at her form and how graceful she is. I am sure most women in industry do it out of desperation and they really don,t want to.

1 hour ago, duck said:

Facts only please.

Ok here you go

https://coloradosex2010.wordpress.com/stripping-down-the-layers-the-psychology-of-stripping-and-childhood-sexual-abuse/

According to University of Pennsylvania psychologist Mary Anne Layden, in a statement published by the obscenity crime organization Morality in Media, between 60 and 80 percent of nude dancers were raped or sexually abused as children.

“Statistics show that high percentages of women in the pornography and exotic dancing industries have been sexually abused,” said Woods.  

Another study by the American Sociological Association, published in its Journal of Health and Social Behavior, found that 35 percent of strippers have Multiple Personality Disorder, 60 percent had major depressive episodes and 55 percent have Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

https://traffickingresourcecenter.org/sex-trafficking-venuesindustries/hostessstrip-club-based

Victims of sex trafficking are frequently recruited to work in strip clubs across the United States. Women, men, and minors may be recruited to work in strip clubs as hostesses, servers or dancers, but then are required to provide commercial sex to customers.

Individuals forced to serve as hostess, servers, or dancers but not required to provide commercial sex may still be victims of labor trafficking.

Strip clubs are designed to provide the space and environment in which buyers may purchase commercial sex. Victims of sex trafficking in strip clubs must adhere to extensive, pre-determined schedules and are frequently moved between multiple clubs. Commercial sex sometimes takes place in the bathroom, VIP, or lap dance rooms, or offsite in hotels or buyer’s homes.

Other facilitators may include staff in the strip club that employ methods of control over the victims or set up arrangements for commercial sex with customers, vendors who may knowingly or unknowingly provide space, service s or products for the business to maintain the front of a legitimate business, licensing or inspection personnel who are aware of the illegal commercial sex aspect of the business, and sources of advertising for business, such as online websites.

 

 There have been connections with stripping networks made to Russian organized crime, who recruit Russian or Eastern European women to come to the United States to work in go-go clubs and strip clubs. Once in the United States, a network of drivers transport the women to and from the clubs where they work and the group houses where they live and pay inflated rent.

Organized crime networks seeking to recruit victims for sex trafficking in strip clubs often target women and girls who have debt or family with debt to the network. 

Trafficking occurs in strip clubs when traffickers use force, fraud, or coercion to force them to engage in commercial sex acts. Common means of control include:

Force: Isolation and restricted mobility; regular and frequent transportation to other clubs or other cities by drivers working for the trafficking network; physical or sexual abuse; forced abortions; lack of medical treatment or reproductive healthcare.

Fraud: False promises of a better life; false promises by a trafficker presenting as a boyfriend.

Coercion: Debt manipulation; threats of harm to the victim or victim’s family; threats to shame the victim by revealing the commercial sex to his or her family and others in the community;  threats of deportation and arrest; confiscation of passports and visas; rumors of or witnessed violence at hands of traffickers used as threats.

 

[scienceguy]

Im doing good today.

[The_Unwanted]

I made a mistake at work. They overbook my task list, disregard any needs I have have even to execute my tasks, and constantly look for negative things to say about me.

I made the mistake trying to resolve everything by drinking more coffee and more energy drinks, so I could execute all those mind numbing tasks at lightning speed. The end result was that I was still burnt out, unable to perform after a certain number of hours during my 24 hour rush.

They probably don't like my appearence or something. Because despite not having all the successful degrees they have, I'm not dumb and I'm smart enough to realize that appearence is more important than performance, in order to achieve a healthier more suitable work day, when they are in charge of my existence and they control my soul. If they started caring, there's no way they would make me work like that. And here I was thinking to myself how much caffeine or temporary fixes is it going to take to put a smile on my face?? All it did was make me nauseous and it doesn't help bring any productivity to my day, neither work-wise nor relationship-wise.

[scienceguy]

15 minutes ago, LaurynJcat said:

Okay, well I only read scienceguy's post after I had already posted the above, lol.  He said it much better than I did.  Good to bring actual research into the mix, and to always remember the "bigger picture" of worldwide sexual trafficking of women.

Yes its bad how there treated I did a paper in my gender studies class about prostitution and something like 80% of them had PTSD. I really don,t like it when people make jokes about it likes no big deal. Its the same thing when people casually talk about bombing countries and ******* people which unfortunately is damn common in america. Its pretty much taboo if you don,t show some kind of bloodlust or you question gender norms at all, traditions. i have no idea if Canda is like that though

[Skylark1]

2 hours ago, scienceguy said:

its not my problem if they take offense its not like there doing balley im sure men aren,t sitting there and going this is the most talented pole dancer I ever saw im going to this club let go guys, look at her form and how graceful she is. I am sure most women in industry do it out of desperation and they really don,t want to.

Ok here you go

https://coloradosex2010.wordpress.com/stripping-down-the-layers-the-psychology-of-stripping-and-childhood-sexual-abuse/

According to University of Pennsylvania psychologist Mary Anne Layden, in a statement published by the obscenity crime organization Morality in Media, between 60 and 80 percent of nude dancers were raped or sexually abused as children.

“Statistics show that high percentages of women in the pornography and exotic dancing industries have been sexually abused,” said Woods.  

Another study by the American Sociological Association, published in its Journal of Health and Social Behavior, found that 35 percent of strippers have Multiple Personality Disorder, 60 percent had major depressive episodes and 55 percent have Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

https://traffickingresourcecenter.org/sex-trafficking-venuesindustries/hostessstrip-club-based

Victims of sex trafficking are frequently recruited to work in strip clubs across the United States. Women, men, and minors may be recruited to work in strip clubs as hostesses, servers or dancers, but then are required to provide commercial sex to customers.

Individuals forced to serve as hostess, servers, or dancers but not required to provide commercial sex may still be victims of labor trafficking.

Strip clubs are designed to provide the space and environment in which buyers may purchase commercial sex. Victims of sex trafficking in strip clubs must adhere to extensive, pre-determined schedules and are frequently moved between multiple clubs. Commercial sex sometimes takes place in the bathroom, VIP, or lap dance rooms, or offsite in hotels or buyer’s homes.

Other facilitators may include staff in the strip club that employ methods of control over the victims or set up arrangements for commercial sex with customers, vendors who may knowingly or unknowingly provide space, service s or products for the business to maintain the front of a legitimate business, licensing or inspection personnel who are aware of the illegal commercial sex aspect of the business, and sources of advertising for business, such as online websites.

 

 There have been connections with stripping networks made to Russian organized crime, who recruit Russian or Eastern European women to come to the United States to work in go-go clubs and strip clubs. Once in the United States, a network of drivers transport the women to and from the clubs where they work and the group houses where they live and pay inflated rent.

Organized crime networks seeking to recruit victims for sex trafficking in strip clubs often target women and girls who have debt or family with debt to the network. 

Trafficking occurs in strip clubs when traffickers use force, fraud, or coercion to force them to engage in commercial sex acts. Common means of control include:

Force: Isolation and restricted mobility; regular and frequent transportation to other clubs or other cities by drivers working for the trafficking network; physical or sexual abuse; forced abortions; lack of medical treatment or reproductive healthcare.

Fraud: False promises of a better life; false promises by a trafficker presenting as a boyfriend.

Coercion: Debt manipulation; threats of harm to the victim or victim’s family; threats to shame the victim by revealing the commercial sex to his or her family and others in the community;  threats of deportation and arrest; confiscation of passports and visas; rumors of or witnessed violence at hands of traffickers used as threats.

 

scienceguy, thank you so much for posting this -- and for stating the painfully obvious so well. You just made a bad day a lot better. :) Like you said, I think the most disturbing thing, for me, is that these guys can just sit there and gawk knowing so many strippers -- and therefore, likely the ones in front of them -- were raped or molested as little girls. I mean, how sick can you get?

And here's some more research:

http://www.towardsfreedom.com/253.html

Adding to the demands from club owners, strippers are subjected to abuse in both upscale and lower-class nude clubs. The protection that bouncers are said to provide is minimal due to the fact that bouncers are essentially paid by the customers; so the best interest of the stripper is not always in mind. Strippers are propositioned for prostitution often and harassed when they don't do what is demanded of them... When someone commits a crime without getting caught or having consequences, they are more likely to perpetrate again. Individuals who endure physical, verbal, or sexual abuse most commonly feel worthless and used. Once a stripper has been lured into this depreciating means of making a living, many of them turn to alcohol and drugs to escape reality...

There is no question as to the importance of entertainment for the human race. As far as history shows, we have never existed without some form of it. It is sadistic when we allow one's idea of entertainment to humiliate and degrade the life of another. Strippers are not just exotically dancing on poles a good distance from others -- as some might say. To keep the acts fresh, club owners have invented many different ways to entice their customers. Lap dances are customary to most nude bars and depending on the bar, the dances are either monitored by a bouncer, or they aren't. Behind the walls of the V.I.P. rooms or even out in open areas, strippers are pressured to do so much more than dance. Some states in the U.S. regulate how many feet away a stripper must be to perform a lap dance, while some don't. This leaves a large window of opportunity for club owners to encourage illegal behavior in order to satisfy the paying customer. Due to the safety issues within the walls of these erotic environments, there is no justification for there existence.

While some may argue that it is our human right to be sexually enticed or to be the sexual enticer as a form of enjoyment, there is no place for these acts in the career world. The laws are too negligent, and the effects are too drastic on individuals turning to this career. People that defend the importance of strip clubs are only defending their right to sit back and watch as another human being is degraded."

http://m.catholicnewsagency.com/resource.php?n=1078

"Among strippers, eating disorders are rampant. Many of the women starve, vomit, abuse exercise or laxatives to become the unnatural shape that is demanded of them. Plastic surgery is almost invariably required especially artificial breasts to produce unnaturally large breasts. This surgery is considered a necessity despite the evidence that artificial breasts interfere with mammograms, and are implicated in autoimmune deficiency disorders in the women, and digestive disorders in the babies of the women who have had the surgery.

Strippers are often substance abusers as well; one study found the number to be 40%. Sometimes this is-because they have to numb themselves to be able to do the work they do. Often the consumption of alcohol is required on the job. Strippers who refuse to drink or who refuse to accept drinks from customers can be fired, coerced or threatened by bosses. Even strippers who have told their superiors that they are alcoholics who attend AA meetings are told that they have to drink on the job. Sometimes customers tip the strippers with illegal drug..."

"The job that they do is fraught with dangers and unpleasantry. In one study 100% of the strippers reported some kind of physical or verbal abuse on their jobs. Verbal abuse by customers is extremely common with 91% reporting incidents. They were routinely called degrading names like c--t (52%), w---e (61%), and b---h (85%). Besides the verbal abuse...some type of physical abuse on the job. Despite the fact that it is illegal to touch a stripper, strippers reported that customers grabbed them by the arm (88%), grabbed their breast (73%), or their buttock (91%). Customers at strip clubs often assault the women. Customers pulled their hair (27%), pinched them (58%), slapped them (24%), or bite them (36%). They are often attacked in the strip club in front of bodyguards and other audience members.

If they would do this to women in public, what would they do to women in private? Strippers are often raped. Strippers have reported that they have been followed home (70%) and have been stalked (42%)..."

"Damage to the society in general which comes from the sex industry

The level of sexual violence in the society is at epidemic proportions. We are experiencing a sexual holocaust. One in 8 women are raped, 50% of females will be sexually harassed on their jobs. By the time a female in this country is 18 years old, 38% have been sexually molested. We are the most sexually violent nation on earth.

Studies have shown a connection with rape both stranger rape and acquaintance rape. When normal college mates are shown pornography, 50-65% of them then say they would be willing to rape a women if they thought they wouldn't get caught. Those who have committed acquaintance rape are more likely to be frequent readers of sex magazines like Playboy and Hustler. The more sex magazines sold within a state the higher the rape rate.

Studies have found significant changes in beliefs when subjects have been shown pornography. They come to believe that unusual sex behavior even psychiatrically disordered behavior is more common than they thought it was before. This includes behaviors such as having sex with animals and mixing sex with violence. They come to find damaging behavior as more acceptable such as showing pornography to children. They become less negative in their attitudes toward rape and believe that rapists should receive lighter sentences. They have a 50% reduction in their belief that women should be liberated. In one study done in Pennsylvania, Chiefs of Police were polled about the impact of strip clubs on their communities. A majority of police chiefs believed that strip clubs cause crime, that the community does not want them and that the quality of life would be better if they were illegal. In fact, when Oklahoma City closed down 150 porn shops, they had a 26% reduction in rapes.

In the last 12 years I have specialized in the treatment of sexual violence victims and perpetrators. I have not treated one case of sexual violence that did not include pornography. In every case of sibling incest that I have treated, the pornography involved has been sex magazines most often Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler.

Erotica USA wants to continue the cycle of violence and damage. They depend on our silence to continue to make money by hurting people. All of us need to stand up and tell them that they will never have the comfort of our silence again."

http://www.victoriasfriends.com/statistics

"89% of women in the sex industry said they wanted to escape, but had no other means for survival.

Strippers are often substance abusers:  one study found the number to be around 40%.

Women who work in the sex industry have only a 25% chance of making a marriage last for at least three years."

 

Edited May 25, 2016 by Skylark1

[Skylark1]

I'm really struggling right now. PTSD is triggered 100% and in overdrive.

[Natasha1]

big hug skylark

[duck]

I am yorkdale mall.  I am angry.  I came here late because my sisters were so slow getting  dressed

[LouisRiel]

3 hours ago, LaurynJcat said:

(((((((Anony))))))).  I didn't have children due to my mental illness, our poverty and my husband's physical disability (which is genetic).  I feel your pain.

Thanks Lauryn I wish I could share my niece, or nephew with you.

[RiverLight]

1 hour ago, Skylark1 said:

I'm really struggling right now. PTSD is triggered 100% and in overdrive.

((((((((((((((((Skylark)))))))))))))))))))) I know the feeling. :/

[duck]

I am yorkdale mall.  I am angry.  I came here late because my sisters were so slow getting  dressed.

[duck]

My blurred vision is driving me nuts.

The mall is closing.  My sisters delayed my whole trip.  

I am thirsty

My life sucks.  

[Epictetus]

Muscles sore.  Overdid the exercise today. 

[nightrose]

1 hour ago, Skylark1 said:

I'm really struggling right now. PTSD is triggered 100% and in overdrive.

Good luck and hold on to whatever helps.  My PTSD is not severe, and I have a set of things I can do when I feel myself going into reactive trauma mode.  You probably do, as well.  Breathe. In. Out.  You will come out on the other side.

[nightrose]

Woke up from a nap.  Drank some coffee.  Muscles feel sore from doing alot today.  I take medication to help with my fatigue, but sometimes, I do too much.

[Steve P]

5 hours ago, scienceguy said:

Im doing good today.

I'm glad SG

[Donaldopato]

Had a lot of anxiety off and on. "Mini" panic attacks perhaps. I take anxiety meds and have psych appt coming up soon, so maybe a tweak. Otherwise, a good day overall, for a change.

[verDominai]

Was ripped from my sleep at 4 AM by the alarm so pretty beat up physically, like a mischevious little demon went ham on me with a baseball bat in the night. Oh well, I wanted some time before work to relax with tea and listen to music and now I have it. Worth it. Mentally I'm feeling pretty optimistic nowadays, just hoping it'll last this time.

[Abandonedalways]

Horrible afternoon into evening. Feeling in the dumps.

 

 

[duck]

10 hours ago, LaurynJcat said:

The therapy will help you, I hope.  Unfortunately society used to sanction physical abuse of children by teachers.  My mother would often bemoan the loss of the strap in schools (she was a teacher).  Too bad we can't go back and prosecute them for all that physical abuse.

Thank you LaurynJcat for you support.

[duck]

Looking at the root of my problem.  

My dad was having sex with my mom that a why I am here.  Therefore everything is my fault.  

My parents were arranged marriage.   I like many others feel like I am a child of rape.

[verDominai]

Confused. And chill because work is over and I can get that comfy cup of tea.

[ladysmurf]

Annoyed!!! It's been almost 3 weeks that I have been on Pristiq and the sleep issue has not been resolved. Even though I sleep for like 10 hours a night I still feel sleepy and tired throughout the day, like I have no energy for anything. I called my doctor 4 days ago I have not heard back from him. I am so scared and anxious. Finally a medicine that works for my anxiety somewhat is causing me to sleep all day long. I hope we can figure out a solution because I'm scared, anxious, and so sick and tired of being at home.  I am going to go cry and then hopefully try to make it at the park near my house just to get some air and relax.  Everyone try to have a good day!! Thanks for listening.

[RiverLight]

I am not great. Therapy with my boyfriend went OK, but he is feeling overwhelmed by needing to change. His therapist gave some suggestions, but I hope he helps him much more with the specifics.

Both my boyfriend and I feel discouraged. He said he was thinking afterwards that he cannot do this and maybe it should end. I was wondering the same thing. Then he said it's worthwhile because he's never loved anyone as much and he wants to try. He said he's willing to read some articles on the topic. I am wondering if I am hanging onto something that is unworkable. We have a lot of issues to contend with.

This issue has depressed me for two weeks now and I've been derailed from my own objectives as a result. I know that I cannot keep going through this, ie, if he attacks me verbally again, and me being depressed and not eating for days.

I wrote a blog on the topic, if anyone cares to read it:
http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/blogs/entry/26364-therapy-with-my-boyfriend/
 

 

 

Edited May 26, 2016 by RiverLight