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Lindsay

The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)

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Long ago I saw the movie Masada where mass suicide was committed   when the enemy arrived everyone was dead.  The enemy did not have the joy of ******* anyone.   My point is suicide will stop my enemy from controlling me.   As long as I am alive my enemy is controlling me  when I am dead no one will be controlling me.

Thanks for reading.

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2 minutes ago, duck said:

Long ago I saw the movie Masada where mass suicide was committed   when the enemy arrived everyone was dead.  The enemy did not have the joy of ******* anyone.   My point is suicide will stop my enemy from controlling me.   As long as I am alive my enemy is controlling me  when I am dead no one will be controlling me.

Thanks for reading.

Try not to think about your enemy Duck.  Try to distract yourself.  I know this is hard though. 

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8 hours ago, duck said:

My mom was violent and my school teachers mainly women were violent towards me.  I have been having recurring nightmares about my female school teachers hitting me  I am 49 and these things happened since I was ten years old.  They still affect me today.   I am being told I need therapy. Why are my abusers free?

((((((((duck))))))) there's a quote in my signature which I feel is appropriate to your situation (I've sent this to you before):

:rose:  Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.
 

Therapy can certainly help you to heal the old wounds. I thought you were seeing a therapist? Or is that just psych docs?

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17 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Again, I should not have made a sweeping generalization that all men who go are scum. I regret saying that now.

Don't worry about it, we've all been there. If I was going to think about all the things I regret saying in the past I would cringe forever shivering in a corner. In fact I do that regularly. *shivers*

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1 minute ago, SenorDomino said:

Don't worry about it, we've all been there. If I was going to think about all the things I regret saying in the past I would cringe forever shivering in a corner. In fact I do that regularly. *shivers*

Thanks, SD! :hugs:I appreciate the support. A lot of times I could just kick myself for all the stupid things I say... "shiver shiver" lol.

Edited by RiverLight

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19 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

((((((((duck))))))) there's a quote in my signature which I feel is appropriate to your situation (I've sent this to you before):

:rose:  Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.
 

Therapy can certainly help you to heal the old wounds. I thought you were seeing a therapist? Or is that just psych docs?

I am seeing a new therapist   she says I will get better but it will take time    I dunno.

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6 minutes ago, duck said:

I am seeing a new therapist   she says I will get better but it will take time    I dunno.

It does take time to address and heal old wounds, but it's sooooooo worth it!

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So some girl I talked to was so dishonest with me, she started saying that she doesn't like to be around crowds in public places or at live events. She in all likelihood said that out of fear I would ask her out or something.

It's clearly some disrespectful garbage and i know because I overhead her say things to others that are contradictory to what she told me. The worst part is that I didn't even ask her out and I didn't even intend to because I knew it wasn't the right thing to do at the time.

Being treated in these kinds of ways doesn't help me have a more positive outlook on social life in general.

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Contemptuous, too, now.

Grateful for my faith in a God who is Love and comforts the oppressed, while the last end of the malicious and uncaring is hell.

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3 hours ago, RiverLight said:

I have been to strip clubs myself, just to see what they were like. I felt the men there were very scummy, in my own experience. One tried to hit on me, and I felt disgusted. I felt disgusted by my own experiences and did not like the men sitting there gawking. Objectification of women is degrading. The women are choosing to be degraded. Generally, that is what those places are. That is just me though. Again, I should not have made a sweeping generalization that all men who go are scum. I regret saying that now.

I think its pathetic its like putting someone in a zoo and paying to stare at them first off its just creepy,to just sit there and stare at a women.It doesn,t take any talent Alot of the women go there because there hooked on drugs or abused.So I don,t know how someone could be aware of this and just gawk at them.The men there sound pathetic that they pay women just to see them it seems desperate. The club owners are probably involved with gangs have people around there selling hard drugs that shouldn,t be supported. I feel the same way about women going to see male strippers its equally pathetic and low class in my opinion. It reeks of desperation objectifying other people its almost at the same level as prostution. My friends friends went to strip clubs and they were all low class and loserish. my coworker who i was friends with at work said his brother would pay a prostitute to throw pieces of ham at her. When i went to my friends band the people there were some of the biggest scum bags I ever met. I was sohappy when i left my friend invited me to hang out again and i would rather to pay to watch paint dry then be anywhere near them. They almost got me hooked on hard drugs and while the band was playing im sure some of them were shooting up some where. I have no idea why my friend started hanging out with low lifes once he left high school, I would rather have no friends then be friends with people like that.

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1 hour ago, scienceguy said:

I think its pathetic its like putting someone in a zoo and paying to stare at them first off its just creepy,to just sit there and stare at a women.It doesn,t take any talent Alot of the women go there because there hooked on drugs or abused.So I don,t know how someone could be aware of this and just gawk at them.The men there sound pathetic that they pay women just to see them it seems desperate. The club owners are probably involved with gangs have people around there selling hard drugs that shouldn,t be supported. I feel the same way about women going to see male strippers its equally pathetic and low class in my opinion. It reeks of desperation objectifying other people its almost at the same level as prostution. My friends friends went to strip clubs and they were all low class and loserish. my coworker who i was friends with at work said his brother would pay a prostitute to throw pieces of ham at her. When i went to my friends band the people there were some of the biggest scum bags I ever met. I was sohappy when i left my friend invited me to hang out again and i would rather to pay to watch paint dry then be anywhere near them. They almost got me hooked on hard drugs and while the band was playing im sure some of them were shooting up some where. I have no idea why my friend started hanging out with low lifes once he left high school, I would rather have no friends then be friends with people like that.

Facts only please.

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1 hour ago, scienceguy said:

I think its pathetic its like putting someone in a zoo and paying to stare at them first off its just creepy,to just sit there and stare at a women.It doesn,t take any talent Alot of the women go there because there hooked on drugs or abused.So I don,t know how someone could be aware of this and just gawk at them.The men there sound pathetic that they pay women just to see them it seems desperate. The club owners are probably involved with gangs have people around there selling hard drugs that shouldn,t be supported. I feel the same way about women going to see male strippers its equally pathetic and low class in my opinion. It reeks of desperation objectifying other people its almost at the same level as prostution. My friends friends went to strip clubs and they were all low class and loserish.

Not a fan of it myself but that's some pretty harsh prejudice to which some very talented dancers would take offense.

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I wish I were the type of person who would actually do the things I sit about and think about doing.  I wonder how many brain cells I've wasted thinking about stuff that either can't be changed or is none of my business. 

I think this paleo diet thing is starting to wear me out.  Not so much the food I'm eating, and I am happy that there are no longer any weird substances in my body, for the most part, but the whole buying, storing, preparing everything I eat.  One of the things that I've learned throughout this colon issue is that vitamin D is really good for treating depression.  You see, I can't take antidepressants now.  Even the magnesium I need to take has to be sprayed on my body.  Nothing was being absorbed, so all supplements and medications had to be stopped.  I'm much better now, in some ways, but all of the work I did last year to get well had to be stopped.  I even had to stop hormone replacement therapy.  Now I fear I'll get depressed and hormonal again.  I'm just now going in to what is called remission, which means I can move a few feet away from the bathroom without fear.  I'm excited about that.  This has been a really lonely and exhausting time for me.  I will say that my new eating plan has revealed to me just how much I was relying on food to deal with emotions and just how much some of that food was adding to the lethargy I had going on. 

Crap, kids, does it ever just get easy?

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