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The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)


Lindsay

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4 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said:

Hang in there, bud.  There is hope, I believe it.

I hope so I just can,t belive I failed myself so much after all these years of denial now im 25 if I could go back through high school or college again with what i know now I would have ended up so emotionally dysnfuctional. I am ashamed of myself , I don,t want anyone to know about my life it has been so empty and meaningless and wasted I don,t have anything im proud of anymore. im waiting for the guilt to pass, I just feel like a broken human being. Thank you for your encouargment.

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32 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

I hate strip clubs. They degrade women. And if men go to them, I think they're scum of the earth. Just my general opinion.

Kudos for having the courage to post this! These days, it seems like you're more likely to get attacked for standing up for what's right -- and for common sense -- than for voicing/advocating offensive, degrading, insupportable crap.

Also, studies have shown that violence against women (in general) has gone up in places where prostitution has been legalized. They also seem less likely to prosecute for violence against women in such places. It's not that hard to connect these dots. Of course stuff like that is going to increase the more objectification of women becomes accepted -- just like crimes against children inevitably increase in places where child porn is legal or where it's legally easier to get away with that ****. Just common sense. Even a small step in the wrong direction is still a step closer to the final destination -- and it won't end with one step for everyone who's allowed to go in that direction. For some, yes. But not for all -- the farther they're allowed to go, the farther they'll push.

If I seem to get worked up over this stuff, it's because I've seen too much research not to.

Edited by Skylark1
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1 hour ago, scienceguy said:

I hope so I just can,t belive I failed myself so much after all these years of denial now im 25 if I could go back through high school or college again with what i know now I would have ended up so emotionally dysnfuctional. I am ashamed of myself , I don,t want anyone to know about my life it has been so empty and meaningless and wasted I don,t have anything im proud of anymore. im waiting for the guilt to pass, I just feel like a broken human being. Thank you for your encouargment.

Sorry :console:I sympathize, so many regrets so little time. 

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1 hour ago, scienceguy said:

I hope so I just can,t belive I failed myself so much after all these years of denial now im 25 if I could go back through high school or college again with what i know now I would have ended up so emotionally dysnfuctional. I am ashamed of myself , I don,t want anyone to know about my life it has been so empty and meaningless and wasted I don,t have anything im proud of anymore. im waiting for the guilt to pass, I just feel like a broken human being. Thank you for your encouargment.

SG - Thank you for the appreciation, my friend. I value it!!!  And big hugs to you!!!

I am an old man, compared to you, SG.  I am 51, soon to be 52.  And, yet, I finally feel I have gained the perspective and confidence and outlook that feels like living, like believing in myself.  I never thought it would happen to me.  I mean never.  It felt impossible.  IMPOSSIBLE!!!  As a teen I was hideous in appearance, shy, and therefore, unloved, and abused by my nutcase moron Tea Party uneducated parents.  Childhood abuse is so hard to overcome. I was told I was useless by them and thus, by myself!!! I suffered through years of depression and social anxiety - panic attacks in social situations.  But, I feel I am HERE, now, with the perspective of time and the help of new friends (for me wise women friends were crucial - staying out there with affirming people is a necessity!!!  Please do everything you can do to find them!!!  Men talk about nothing substantive, very little that is real.  Women are introspective and affirming.  Generalization?  Yes.  But, damn it, I have found it to be true!!!!)

I have no partner and live in a basement apartment while all my friends own big houses and are hooked up.  Imagine being 51, when you are supposed to have "succeeded" and being in my place with all your friends rolling in the cash with big homes and kids in private schools and all that talk of investments and the stock market and savings blah blah blah.  I have two teenage kids that probaly view me as a failure.  That is where I am. But I know what I have fought through and I wear it all  as a badge of honor.   It's not about what others think!!! It is a great thing that we "square pegs keep on keeping on" despite what the damn culture expects.  Let your freak flag fly!!! It is great to be different!!!! I mean, how is the world doing with all these "successful" people running it?  

Not very well, as far as I, and the polar bears can see.

I had all the guilt I could handle and more.  I was a total failure in high school and college due to anxiety and lack of confidence.  But high school and college are just such history for me now, history that I value - in that I know I have overcome and made it through a great life test - but history, nonetheless.  The past is past.  It is done and gone.  It exists in my dreams but not in reality.

 I I have finally realized, accepted, and learned to love who I am, a square peg!!! Hah, what a great thing to be, a rare square peg.  Maybe the f'd up world could use a few more of us!!!!  You can learn to accept and love yourself too, my friend!!!  With forums like this you can come to this reality much quicker than I did.  I know it!!!

Cheers

Brian

 

Edited by salparadise6132
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My mom was violent and my school teachers mainly women were violent towards me.  I have been having recurring nightmares about my female school teachers hitting me  I am 49 and these things happened since I was ten years old.  They still affect me today.   I am being told I need therapy. Why are my abusers free?

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How can I go on living when I am suffering so much?   

Why should I go on living when I did nothing wrong yet I am being blamed for what other people did to me?

Edited by duck
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Slightly confused. So uh, my coworkers keep talking crap about our boss and about how horrible and unpredictable and unfriendly he is, but the thing is, I've been eating lunch with him every day since I started working there. He just invited me over to his and his closest friends' table the first day and it's become a thing. I'm not seeing any unfriendlyness at all, towards me he's been pretty great. Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.

Edited by SenorDomino
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5 hours ago, duck said:

How can I go on living when I am suffering so much?   

Why should I go on living when I did nothing wrong yet I am being blamed for what other people did to me?

To not let them win. Show them that you are stronger than that. Why punish yourself even further?

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7 hours ago, duck said:

How can I go on living when I am suffering so much?   

Why should I go on living when I did nothing wrong yet I am being blamed for what other people did to me?

I think we keep going so that we can be there for those who follow.  I have been reading parts of a book called "Healing from Despair" (by Elie Spitz), and he says, "Our own darkest moments can become the source of a light, a blessing that we carry to others."  I know that when I am in the deepest pain, that hardly seems to matter, but it is something I hold on to.  I know that I have liked reading your posts on what you did each day, and those posts have brought me joy.  

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I have the therapy appointment today with my boyfriend and am nervous. I don't want him to feel I am attacking him in any way, but my list of things to address is kind of lengthy. I'm even bringing notes! I don't know how to handle this..... I pray that it turns out OK and that he won't dump me afterwards, thinking it's too much for him to try and change his behaviors. Most of what I have to say isn't news to him.

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1 minute ago, RiverLight said:

I have the therapy appointment today with my boyfriend and am nervous. I don't want him to feel I am attacking him in any way, but my list of things to address is kind of lengthy. I'm even bringing notes! I don't know how to handle this..... I pray that it turns out OK and that he won't dump me afterwards, thinking it's too much for him to try and change his behaviors. Most of what I have to say isn't news to him.

Good luck Riv!!!! (((M)))

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11 hours ago, scienceguy said:

I hope so I just can,t belive I failed myself so much after all these years of denial now im 25 if I could go back through high school or college again with what i know now I would have ended up so emotionally dysnfuctional. I am ashamed of myself , I don,t want anyone to know about my life it has been so empty and meaningless and wasted I don,t have anything im proud of anymore. im waiting for the guilt to pass, I just feel like a broken human being. Thank you for your encouargment.

Aren't you finishing up a degree in chemistry?  That's not easy.  You should be proud of that.  You'll certainly have a future in that field.

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10 hours ago, RiverLight said:

I hate strip clubs. They degrade women. And if men go to them, I think they're scum of the earth. Just my general opinion.

Hmm...  I haven't been to a strip club in several years, but previously as part of my job working overseas we would have to go to such clubs with guests or clients.  It was expected.  It's just part of life.  Didn't make me scum of the earth.  As far as degrading women, many of them were quite intelligent and educated; they could just make a lot more money working in the clubs.  They weren't forced into it.  Their choice.

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9 minutes ago, One More Red Nightmare said:

Hmm...  I haven't been to a strip club in several years, but previously as part of my job working overseas we would have to go to such clubs with guests or clients.  It was expected.  It's just part of life.  Didn't make me scum of the earth.  As far as degrading women, many of them were quite intelligent and educated; they could just make a lot more money working in the clubs.  They weren't forced into it.  Their choice.

Yeah, I hear you. I'm thinking of mainly the actual scummy men, the seedy men, the dirtbags. I am sure there are instances like you're talking about where it's expected and the men are more classy, as well as the clubs. Sorry, didn't mean to make a sweeping generalization like that. There are exceptions. I was reacting to something.

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10 minutes ago, One More Red Nightmare said:

Hmm...  I haven't been to a strip club in several years, but previously as part of my job working overseas we would have to go to such clubs with guests or clients.  It was expected.  It's just part of life.  Didn't make me scum of the earth.  As far as degrading women, many of them were quite intelligent and educated; they could just make a lot more money working in the clubs.  They weren't forced into it.  Their choice.

This. Women often "degrade" themselves. And no one can agree on whether it's a terrible thing or if it's empowering and their right to do so.

And while I'm not the kind of guy who'd ever be in a strip club, I wouldn't call anyone scum for enjoying that kind of thing. Live and let live.

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18 hours ago, LaurynJcat said:

I thought the Prisiq was helping?  (((((((hugs)))))))

It seems to help with my anxiety a bit . but its making me soooo sleepy! I want to leave the house because it's nice out but I am so sleepy and drowsy that I don't want to drive . I'm afraid to drive.

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8 minutes ago, SenorDomino said:

This. Women often "degrade" themselves. And no one can agree on whether it's a terrible thing or if it's empowering and their right to do so.

And while I'm not the kind of guy who'd ever be in a strip club, I wouldn't call anyone scum for enjoying that kind of thing. Live and let live.

I have been to strip clubs myself, just to see what they were like. I felt the men there were very scummy, in my own experience. One tried to hit on me, and I felt disgusted. I felt disgusted by my own experiences and did not like the men sitting there gawking. Objectification of women is degrading. The women are choosing to be degraded. Generally, that is what those places are. That is just me though. Again, I should not have made a sweeping generalization that all men who go are scum. I regret saying that now.

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