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The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread (3)


Lindsay

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13 minutes ago, SFChristianGirl said:

I'm on the verge of tears right now.  It's been 3 days straight of anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks and just overwhelming emotions.  I need a break.  Doesn't my mind know when I can't handle anymore?

Hugs SFCG!  I hope tomorrow is better for you!!

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7 hours ago, RiverLight said:

Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy..... pressure cooker. I am trying to memorize my answers now and it's just far too much to remember... wish I had met with the recruiter earlier in the week to discuss interview prep. now I'm doing it last minute and am afraid I won't do as well. :/ I feel so stupid right now..... why did I wait?

Hello, River --

I must thank you for a reference you made a month or so ago about a book, "A Joseph Campbell Companion."  I was reading and absorbing it slowing and gratefully until I realized I'd left it somewhere and cannot find it.  I'll have to buy another copy, but it was helping me a great deal in changing the way I look at life and the things that are true and real for me. 

If you want this job, I want it for you.  If you think it will make you happy, meet the requirements for your livelihood, and contribute to your feeling powerful and whole, all the better--it would be a privilege to have it, would it not? 

It's nice to get those nibbles that indicate you're wanted or that YOU meet someone's ELSE requirements.  The jobs I've had that had nothing to do with who I am, I got because I allowed the interviewer a peek at who I really am, and that's' what sealed the deal.  In truth, my experience and resume would have had about 30% to do with my landing the gig. 

You have a lot of light to shine, so just go do that and don't worry about filling in the blanks or coloring inside the lines.  Whether you do or do not get the job will be a subjective judgment on their part, so you might as well empower yourself by being yourself.  In that, I think you could not fail.

Best of luck. 

WOTL

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15 hours ago, Natasha1 said:

Maybe you need one more like that?

I think so. I just don't know how to channel that. I had a big nightmare the night before. depression gave me a break I guess 

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13 hours ago, Donaldopato said:

On surface ok. Keeping busy, lost weight and keeping it off, no huge catastrophes in sight. Yet much of the time I still feel sad, empty and lonely.

I feel that too. the contrast creates its own separate sadness?

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Thursday

 

I went to a men's group

Book store and spoke to Marie

Starbucks spoke to Stephanie

Remedy Cafe spoke to Keshia and another lady.

Bought gas

Read my book on CBT

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Howdy all, I will be away from May 17 to June 2.  I am going for a vacation.  I will try to post online when possible.

 

:hugs:HUGS to all.

Edited by duck
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4 hours ago, LaurynJcat said:

Is there another way to look at this?  Not every friendship has to be a close friendship.  Sometimes it's okay to just have someone you play tennis with, or eat at a restaurant with.  It doesn't mean that friendship has no value.

That's what I originally wanted to believe. But I have so many other examples that I ended up thinking something's wrong.

 

4 hours ago, LaurynJcat said:

(((((((The_Unwanted)))))))   How do you know that's what he thinks?  Is that what he said?  What he thinks of you doesn't matter anyway.

Yes. Actions speak louder than words. 

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14 hours ago, LaurynJcat said:

Unfortunately it's a lot more trouble than a footstep, and once you go there's no way back.  Take a deep breath like Duck says, and stop thinking about the next world (((((((Camellia)))))))

Thank you Lauryn. I will continue to try not to think about it. It's very easy for the mind to slip into that place when there's no family luv (child abuse, runaway teen). 

Sometimes I feel tired trying to stand strong. You and others here have given me strength. Thank you again Lauryn. Means a lot to me.  (((((((Lauryn)))))))))

Edited by Camellia
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11 hours ago, RiverLight said:

Ok, I feel pretty much prepped for this interview. I have a cheat sheet to study tomorrow morning, then I'm off at 1pm for the interview..... I came up with alternative "leave behind" documents, kind of ignoring the recruiter's own suggestion for a leave behind, lol. Hopefully these will show my skills in the way they are meant to.... wish me luck!

You can do this!!!

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7 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

Hello, River --

I must thank you for a reference you made a month or so ago about a book, "A Joseph Campbell Companion."  I was reading and absorbing it slowing and gratefully until I realized I'd left it somewhere and cannot find it.  I'll have to buy another copy, but it was helping me a great deal in changing the way I look at life and the things that are true and real for me. 

If you want this job, I want it for you.  If you think it will make you happy, meet the requirements for your livelihood, and contribute to your feeling powerful and whole, all the better--it would be a privilege to have it, would it not? 

It's nice to get those nibbles that indicate you're wanted or that YOU meet someone's ELSE requirements.  The jobs I've had that had nothing to do with who I am, I got because I allowed the interviewer a peek at who I really am, and that's' what sealed the deal.  In truth, my experience and resume would have had about 30% to do with my landing the gig. 

You have a lot of light to shine, so just go do that and don't worry about filling in the blanks or coloring inside the lines.  Whether you do or do not get the job will be a subjective judgment on their part, so you might as well empower yourself by being yourself.  In that, I think you could not fail.

Best of luck. 

WOTL

Oh I am so very glad that you like the book!!!! It's amazing isn't it? Brings such a different perspective to things... that book changed my life..... that's unfortunate you lost your copy, but I'm glad you're getting another one!

And THANK YOU so very much! Your words are very helpful. I needed to hear just that.... to be myself too. I have been so focused on my answers...... they will flow, but I need to be myself as well. One job I got because I was so enthusiastic they said. So I know what you mean. I do want this job, very badly! At least right now I do... I haven't asked them the important questions yet to make sure it's truly a good fit, so we'll see, but I hope it is. It's a tremendous opportunity.

Thank you so very much again.... and so nice to see you again! Was wondering where you were! :hugs::hugs:

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I feel so so many things, my mind is a mess right now;

Annoyed, frustrated, exhausted, sleepy, ignored, depressed, lonely, hurtful, painful, invisible, stupid, hiding, ''numb'', empty, alone, dark, gloomy...

Blerggghhhhhhh!!!!

 

Edited by Wisteria
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23 hours ago, Natasha1 said:

Maybe you need one more like that?

I slept another 5 hours! I mean I feel terrible, depressed, and anxious but I slept. I can't believe it, I slept! 

Edited by ejc
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3 hours ago, Wisteria said:

I feel so so many things, my mind is a mess right now;

Annoyed, frustrated, exhausted, sleepy, ignored, depressed, lonely, hurtful, painful, invisible, stupid, hiding, ''numb'', empty, alone, dark, gloomy...

Blerggghhhhhhh!!!!

 

I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but I surely understand how you feel.  When I feel down like that, it's my lack of courage I most hate myself for.  (I'm not saying YOU hate yourself!)  So I hide, avoiding things I shouldn't avoid--things that I am very capable of handling, but that depression or that dark side of me says I can't.  At such times, I am a runaway train and need to put the breaks on feeling this way.  I close my eyes and ask the Universe, my spirit guides, or God, for help.  My cries come from desperation and fear or dread of humiliation of some sort--and that's what keeps me away from others.  I cry a while, and then fall into a deep sleep--sometimes short, sometimes long.  And when I wake, things seem better; I feel as though I have a new opportunity to do at least one thing I need to do.  It's as though the crying and the sleep have allowed me to reunite with the part of me that KNOWS I am capable; KNOWS I am worthy; KNOWS I am lovable.  And that knowledge, for however long it lasts, makes me feel powerful; as though I can face the world for a while.  

People seem to think that thoughts of ending it are unhealthy.  But I see them as normal--maybe it's just normal for me--but I think there is an instinct in all of us that wants to return to that beautiful place from whence we came, even though our "mission" is right now, in THIS life, at THIS time, and perhaps we owe ourselves the chance to make it through another day or even another hour.  Life is moment to moment, and we who know depression and anxiety may find it hard to take one moment and really be present with ourselves, and our higher selves, the God part of us, who KNOWS that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience-- and to move forward as best we can right now.  It's hard to believe we can contribute to our own well being, but every moment is a chance to find a new way to do so.

My best wishes, thoughts and empathy for your getting over this hump.   

WOTL    

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13 hours ago, LaurynJcat said:

So sorry you are going through this (((((((hugs))))))).  Is it the dental thing again?

Hi Lauryn.

Thank you for your support.

Yes this is the dental thing again.  My ongoing drama.  I have two appointments coming up on two back to back days.  The 18th I go to see the specialist for a consultation and if he thinks it's necessary a dental surgery to fix a tooth.  A tooth that had a root canal 1 month ago is hurting again.  My dentist wants me to see the specialist for treatment.  Then I see my dentist the next day for a crown.  I'll probably be in each appointment about 2 hours.

I just wish my teeth would behave.

Thanks to everyone for your support.

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I'm done with round one of interviews.... There would be a round 2. Sigh. I think this went well? I rambled at times. It was more conversational.... She was cool. I pray I get asked back. I liked her.  

Edited by RiverLight
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