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Lindsay

The Post Anything Thread (2)

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43 minutes ago, womanofthelight said:

"Life's pressure is equal to
your resistance.
Your grief has endless time. Your
sadness is bottomless, your worries
are relentless.  Your resentment is
unquenchable. Your fears are
unmovable.  Every dimension of your
suffering will instruct you, until you
have learned your essential lessons."
- .Bryant T. McGill

"Every dimension . . . "  I wonder if this is true.  If it is, life is a painful workshop.

It is a painful workshop. I just wonder what the lesson is that we're supposed to learn.  Is perseverance in the face of pain and despair a virtue in itself?  Are we rewarded for it in the afterlife?  Nobody has the answer. 

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Can't wait to get money so I can take my cats to get there shots, booster shots, and have them groomed and shaved. And I would like a new pair of shoes and a oil change. 

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Looking for inspirational quotes today:

"If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person."
— Fred Rogers

"Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light."
— Madeleine L'Engle

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At some places I've been treated so poorly that even if I use extreme optimism, they are going to gang up and push incredibly hard to dehumanize me through manipulative tactics like slander, making me do things I don't like, and discouraging me to do things that drive me by making me uncomfortable and unable to concentrate for instance.

Even today, this happens in the work force. But it's not just over there. It could happen at home too. Sometimes, you gotta keep your head up at all times. It's just the way it is.

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I am eager to have someone to share my life with; someone to hug and kiss before falling asleep, have a habit to make a good cup of coffee every morning before leaving to work for someone, wipe away his tears while we laugh so much that tummy can't stop hurting, think about the next week's grocery list together, travel to amazing places. Someone to spend this boring daily life with, nothing fancy but just we could have each other's support & love. BUT that sadly can't happen if I don't love myself first... So I guess it won't never happen, I am too broken and don't want to make him broken because of me either.

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1 hour ago, Wisteria said:

I am eager to have someone to share my life with; someone to hug and kiss before falling asleep, have a habit to make a good cup of coffee every morning before leaving to work for someone, wipe away his tears while we laugh so much that tummy can't stop hurting, think about the next week's grocery list together, travel to amazing places. Someone to spend this boring daily life with, nothing fancy but just we could have each other's support & love. BUT that sadly can't happen if I don't love myself first... So I guess it won't never happen, I am too broken and don't want to make him broken because of me either.

Oh, Wisteria, what a beautiful wish!  I'm sorry you feel you will never heal; that's such a painful prognosis.  But it's good that you still have desire.  Depression can numb all feeling and hope, and that hasn't happened to you.  Sending you healing thoughts and hope for your future, WOTL.  :hugs:

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2 hours ago, Wisteria said:

I am eager to have someone to share my life with; someone to hug and kiss before falling asleep, have a habit to make a good cup of coffee every morning before leaving to work for someone, wipe away his tears while we laugh so much that tummy can't stop hurting, think about the next week's grocery list together, travel to amazing places. Someone to spend this boring daily life with, nothing fancy but just we could have each other's support & love. BUT that sadly can't happen if I don't love myself first... So I guess it won't never happen, I am too broken and don't want to make him broken because of me either.

I have two things to say about this.

1. July needs to hurry up and get here(long story I can't get into)

2. I seriously you hope you find a worthy man.

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5 hours ago, SpiralingMind said:

Sometimes I wonder about some of the people who were on DF years ago, and if they're doing ok.

 

I wonder about that all the time...especially some of the ones that made threads in the suicidal ideation forum..and never returned after their last post.

Edited by Twilight Sky

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20 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

Oh, Wisteria, what a beautiful wish!  I'm sorry you feel you will never heal; that's such a painful prognosis.  But it's good that you still have desire.  Depression can numb all feeling and hope, and that hasn't happened to you.  Sending you healing thoughts and hope for your future, WOTL.  :hugs:

Aww, thank you!! :hugs: I have lots of desire, a bit of hope too though sometimes I might feel like the world is ending, heh... :| I hope you have a great day~

19 hours ago, Twilight Sky said:

I have two things to say about this.

1. July needs to hurry up and get here(long story I can't get into)

2. I seriously you hope you find a worthy man.

Awe, thank you too!! :hugs: I hope the July comes fast for you then. :) 

Edited by Wisteria

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I really feel for some of you here. But I also feel frustrated when you're stuck in these loops of destructive thinking and can't get out of them. Sometimes I can't help but ask if you want it to end. If you're doing something each day to really try. Or if you're too afraid to try or unwilling. That part bothers me the most. Especially when the negativity we post affects others.

*sigh* it sounds harsh - I'm not a "snap out of it just get over it" guy by ANY stretch of the imagination. This is HARD. It is VERY, VERY hard. It FEELS impossible. But come on guys. You have GOT to treat yourselves better. Please. You deserve it.

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John, I think depression naturally lends to negative thinking..... it's the nature of the beast. It leads one to feel hopeless.... like there is no end and nothing positive to look forward to. It's so hard to climb out of depressive thinking sometimes, especially if the world, one's life, has crumbled around them. I am speaking from my own experience in that regard, but then there are those who suffer from major depressive disorder or acute long-term clinical depression where it's really the nature of the beast & is mainly chemically related. That's really hard to fight. Meds do help though... and CBT can help. I cannot speak of my own experience in the latter sense because I suffer from periodic situational depression and not major depressive disorder. But I imagine that others who do suffer from that disorder may say that it's nearly impossible sometimes to fight. Each day is a battle and a struggle. I can only imagine what that is truly like each and every day.

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John, I think depression naturally lends to negative thinking..... 

I didn't say it didn't. Depression does lead to negative thinking. Agreed. 

Quote

it's the nature of the beast. It leads one to feel hopeless.... like there is no end and nothing positive to look forward to. It's so hard to climb out of depressive thinking sometimes, especially if the world, one's life, has crumbled around them. 

Yup. Not disagreeing with this either.

Quote

I am speaking from my own experience in that regard, but then there are those who suffer from major depressive disorder or acute long-term clinical depression where it's really the nature of the beast & is mainly chemically related. That's really hard to fight. Meds do help though... and CBT can help.

As someone suffering from major depressive disorder, I can attest to everything you said here. 

Quote

I cannot speak of my own experience in the latter sense because I suffer from periodic situational depression and not major depressive disorder. But I imagine that others who do suffer from that disorder may say that it's nearly impossible sometimes to fight. Each day is a battle and a struggle. I can only imagine what that is truly like each and every day.

It's nearly impossible to fight. You're right. 

I agree with everything you said.

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On ‎20‎.‎03‎.‎2016 at 4:51 AM, KidSurvivor2011 said:

Why in the world can I never make friends? What is it about me that everyone hates or makes me want to stay away from them? My therapist or somebody needs to tell me that I'm just a loser instead of giving me false hope.

~ KS

 

 

On ‎21‎.‎03‎.‎2016 at 8:59 PM, Wisteria said:

I am eager to have someone to share my life with; someone to hug and kiss before falling asleep, have a habit to make a good cup of coffee every morning before leaving to work for someone, wipe away his tears while we laugh so much that tummy can't stop hurting, think about the next week's grocery list together, travel to amazing places. Someone to spend this boring daily life with, nothing fancy but just we could have each other's support & love. BUT that sadly can't happen if I don't love myself first... So I guess it won't never happen, I am too broken and don't want to make him broken because of me either.

I`ve just looked at your profiles and posts thinking how cool ! these persons are (and i felt kind of envious...in a good way) then i read this...and honestly, i can`t believe your self image is like that... i don`t take your words like "loser" (KS)    or   "it won`t never happen" (Wisteria)   too seriously `cause it`s depression speaking.

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17 hours ago, Mikayla said:

 

I`ve just looked at your profiles and posts thinking how cool ! these persons are (and i felt kind of envious...in a good way) then i read this...and honestly, i can`t believe your self image is like that... i don`t take your words like "loser" (KS)    or   "it won`t never happen" (Wisteria)   too seriously `cause it`s depression speaking.

That's so sweet, thank you Mikayla! :'> I agree... It's definitely depression speaking bad words again. ;___;

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