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Never Been So Lost and Low


AlwaysHope64

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Hi,

I was just hoping for some encouragement or talk.  I have never been this lost or low.  I am so scared of how bad I am.

I have had depression all my life (I am 52) but I was getting by until 2011 when I hit menopause.  I had never been hospitalized and I have been in the hospital about 13 times since.  I seem to keep getting worse.

I am worse now than I have ever been.  I just started a new med but I feel like it is bothering my stomach now.  I am really scared of meds and get a lot of side effects.

I see my psychiatrist every week along with a somewhat new therapist.  I haven't made my last 2 therapist appointments.  She has been really great and understanding.  I don't know what I would do without my psychiatrist and therapist.

I cry so much of the time.  I haven't gone out in over a week.  I am having a hard time doing almost anything.  I don't even like taking a shower anymore (I never really did that before). 

I feel so alone.  My husband works all day and I am home by myself all day.  I am severely depressed and getting really agoraphobic.  Everything is so hard for me to do.  I am so scared of everything and what is going to happen to me.  I have been in and out of the hospital so many times in the last months.  I am so scared.  I call suicide hotline everyday to talk to someone and to help me get through the day.  The only time I get peace is when I sleep.

Any help or encouragement would be deeply appreciated.  I am so scared and don't know how or what to do.  I have gone through a lot of meds with doctor and even had ECT.  I feel so lost and alone.

 

 

 

 

 

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Hello,

It sounds like you have had a really rough time the last few years.  I have depression, anxiety, and insomnia, in addition to some other health problems that I am hoping to resolve.  I have not been through the change yet.

I'm not sure how to help you but I just want to encourage you to hang in there.  It takes awhile for a new med to kick in.  Also, please see your therapist as soon as possible.  Have you talked with your OB/GYN doctor about your mood?

Hugs to you!

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Honey, Your the same age as I am, menopause has started for me also a year or 2 ago,,or pre- menopause...anyways,,my paxil stopped working at the time, I didnt kno wth was wrong,,my Dr. at the time wasnt concerned..so I switched Dr's, new one tested my blood and I was severely low on vit D3, she rx that and wanted to wean me off paxil and onto effexor,,because of the serious hot flashes I was getting. so that helped greatly with energy and 75% of my mood, but 100% of my hot flashes were gone! SOO happy about that! then came fall...I HATE winter...told myself I can make it thru it..almost thru it,,and went to see my dr. she rx wellbutrin to take along with effexor,,its been a week tomorrow, energy has improved, focus kinda...so i'm waiting to see if it will kick in more before I say its a loss.  I get to escape from home to work everyday for 8 hours and be happy to customers and co-workers,,some days its terribly exhausting, some days not. I know if I was at home I wouldnt get things done like they need to get done, but home is my safe place.  All my fur babies are here, my 'therapy'. Get your thyroid checked honey, My husband works too, and goes to bed before me so I'm left on my own quite a bit. But try not to be scared, there is hope, just gotta keep fighting a little at a time and everyday is a WIN!! everything you do to help yourself is a victory, we're all in this together babe,,hugss tight! xoxoxoxo

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  • 5 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi,

Saw this post yesterday and decided to suggest you something to look on but didn't know what.

Today I've came up with an inspiring video on yt and decided to sign up on this forum to share it with you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtJ5ColgEm4

I think what he says it's true, and even if for now is just something to contemplate, maybe it would help a bit when it comes with cope with all the pain that we feel and everything that drag us down.

 

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