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My Doctors Don't Take Me Seriously


duck

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I have been seeing my pdoc and therapist for almost two years and they are  of little help to me.  

 

I have told them repeatedly how I am feeling, about my anger, rage, and hate yet they refuse to listen or they listen but do not take me seriously.

Two weeks ago my pdoc told me,"You are smiling. You should think about going back to work." One day I am smiling and this guy thinks I am okay.  

My therapist whom I pay $140 per visit out of my pocket has not done anything for me. He is focussed on the future.  I have looked for other therapist's but their approach is the same.

 

I told my therapist I think I have PTSD and he asked me some questions and he decided that i did not have it.

I am sure I have PTSD.  

 

I spent the whole night writing detailed painful experiences from my past which I plan to give to my therapist. I explained how angry I was with people that hurt me and I hope them ill will. I plan to give this to my therapist. He wants details and I will give him details.

 

 

Are there any drawbacks to this? Can my therapist use it against me?

 

Thanks.

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It took me six years to get a diagnosis of PTSD.  I had to take a three hour test to get it.  At this point, I hate doctors.  Here's the last conversation I had with a doctor.

 

Doctor

Do you feel like hurting anyone?

 

Me

hahaha

 

Doctor

Do you feel like hurting yourself?

 

Me

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Seriously though diagnosis is a pretty difficult problem.  It's also frustrating when the doctor you are paying isn't trying his/her best.   Also, it's quite disturbing when you tell a professional about rage/anger problems and they brush it off.  I had to go through a lot of bad things for a team of doctors to start taking me serious.  I wouldn't say they can use what you write against you.  

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Well for where I live, you can basically tell your doctor anything.  Except for real suicidal/homicidal plans.  If this is something that happened two years ago I very much doubt it will get you in trouble.  For my experience, there is a thing called a Baker Act.  That's where they arrest you for being a danger to yourself or others.  I was Baker Acted twice in December.  The one I overdosed.  The second one is worthy of it's own post.  Both were pretty serious, but I was released after 72 hours on both occasions.  Normally, I am not too scared what I tell my doctor.  But when push comes to shove, I will watch what I say.  I think being honest with them is the best thing you could do.

Edited by glfinding
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The Baker Act is a law in Florida that allows mentally ill people to be committed to a mental health facility for 72 hours, against the will of the mentally ill person. It is commonly used as a verb. As far as I know, it is often used on people who are dangerous to themselves, for example, if they are hurting themselves intentionally, or on people who become violent and try to hurt others.

Here's what Wikipedia says:

Involuntary commitment under the Baker Act requires that a judge, police officer, or doctor find that a person is mentally ill enough to require an involuntary medical exam. Those persons deemed by court to be a danger to themselves and others around them may be involuntarily committed.

Within 72 hours of examination, the person may be released or may consent to further inpatient treatment. If not, the facility that conducted the exam must file an involuntary commitment petition that must be heard by a court within five days.

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Hi duck! 

 

It can be very  hard to be diagnosed correctly. I was seeing therapists for over 20 years before I was diagnosed with ptsd. And all sorts of chaos happened in t as a result. Some of that wasnt the therapists fault as I didnt know to say anything. The last thing I wanted to admit to even myself was that stuff.

 

Your therapist cant diagnose this and you need a psychiatrist to do so. Can you ask to be evaluated by one properly? 

 

There are some things that I think can hide ptsd. Sometimes we can be set off a lot by interactions with other people where others are bullying, threatening,  rude or unkind. That can feel like the problem. These experiences however are not in the diagnostic criteria for ptsd as horrible as they are. There are more related to things like depression, anxiety, adjustment disorders, attachment disorders and personality disorders. If someone has ptsd from something to do with people then it can however act as a trigger and set off very strong feelings. Sometimes people discuss these experiences and not the the really big stuff and the drs will therefore dismiss ptsd as a possibility. 

 

One of the fundemental diagnostic criteria is that the person is often set in a with intrusive  (they come without one trying) "memories" (for examples pictures of the trauma) or flashbacks of an event that relates to something that fits this criteria:

The person was exposed to: death, threatened death, actual or threatened serious injury, or actual or threatened sexual violence, as follows: (one required)
 

  1. Direct exposure.
  2. Witnessing, in person.
  3. Indirectly, by learning that a close relative or close friend was exposed to trauma. If the event involved actual or threatened death, it must have been violent or accidental.
  4. Repeated or extreme indirect exposure to aversive details of the event(s), usually in the course of professional duties (e.g., first responders, collecting body parts; professionals repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). This does not include indirect non-professional exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures.

If the person doesnt discuss both that they have had an experience that fits this and that they are still being constantly haunted by it then they are unlikely to be evaluated or diagnosed. 

 

Then there are things that they look at that arent in the list of criteria. The type of reaction someone gets with ptsd is very intense and one can see physical reactions as well as there being psychological ones. Someone also has to be over a threshold of the amount of symptoms they get in order to be  diagnosed. 

 

If the basics are there then what they should do is a full evaluation like the one dlfinding mentioned. If you can find one of the assessment sheets you could maybe fill that in and take it in to them. Like the Life Events Checklist and the PTSD Checklist, the Brief Trauma Questionaire. The Upsetting Events Survey for example. 

 

After that you probably want to tell them the main things you struggle with on a daily basis. I dont have the ptas rage but its defintiely something that can be related to ptsd.

 

I hope you find some answers.

Edited by Fizzle
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What if I told him I was so angry at the time of the incident I wanted to hurt the guy who called me names?  That was two years ago.

 

Thanks   Bhorout and glfinding.

Wow duck,how rude it is to put names on you,if i were there i would've liked to take care of that low life person.

 

Therapists/counselors should respect your boundaries and be extra careful for not to re-traumatize you with their non practical techniques.

 

That's why i never go to therapists.

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Thank you Fizzle. I did fill out an online form and gave  it to my therapist but he said it was too general. He wanted more details. He wants me to be specific as possible.

I had sustained rage for most of 2013 and all of 2014.  My friends and family noticed my change in behavior.

 

I told my psychiatrist about and he said I may have ptsd but declined to threat me.  I will be seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow so I will discuss my issues with him again.

 

Thanks again Fizzle.

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Duck:  Finding a a good fit with a therapist can be like a needle in a hay stack.  I totally understand your frustration.  But I guess I've been pretty lucky finding three therapists out of many I have stuck with and they really helped me.  My Primary Doc referred me to my current therapist who specializes in the illness I have and PTSD.   He is everything I have always dreamed of in a therapist.  But I came prepared for intake with a list of coping skills I really need to work on which gave us a good platform to work from.

 

Don't give up.  Sometimes you have to do a ton of research to find one, or through referrals from you docs, or word of mouth.  I wish you could go to my therapist.  When I first was diagnosed with depression in 2001. my Primary Doc prescribed an anti-depressant and anxiety medication.  And also referred me to a therapist he had heard good things about.

 

Duck, I too have been around a lot of death, too much.  We're talking about 100 friends or more who died of AIDS in the 90's.  And my Mom and Dad.  I miss my mom and dad so bad, and my friends.  They were all so brave up to the end.  I thought I had cried every tear that could be spilled within 10 years over these losses, but my heart has not let go.  

 

While you find a good therapist, you can always vent to us.  I really sympathize with your situation.

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Hi Duck. That sounds horribly upsetting. It sounds like you have done a lot and are just not being heard. Im sorry. When it comes to your family dr their expertise is not mental health. Pdocs are the ones that are supposedly best to the diagnosing but of course requires someone to actually listen and take those steps.

 

I know you have a lot of trauma in your life and I think it can make things really complex as they knock off of each other. Its easy for them to say to write out detail but it can be really frightening and destabalising to do that when it comes to trauma so take care of yourself. 

 

Im trying to think of anything that could lead them off the path of opening their ears and hearing you. I wonder if it would be helpful to do a trauma timeline. I dont know if you have done that before. You take your life from as early as you remember or that you have heard and you write out any traumatic experience that occurred and the date. Keep in mind the criteria too as they wont be as interested in triggering stressors or events (experiences that are very upsetting to us but dont fit the criteria for ptsd). . 

 

Here is an example: 

Age 5 - had car accident and broke my leg and arm. 

Age 7 - saw my uncle threaten to **** my ...... 

Age 10 - was beaten up by at school. 

Age 12 - flood 

 

It sounds like things changed in the last year or two. Do have an idea why that is the case and has that happened before or is it all new? Do you have nightmares etc of an event and do you want to say what event or part of your life they refer to? Do you want to discuss your symptoms here? No pressure and make sure you stay safe. 

 

If they still dont want to do a proper evaluation then I would ask them to explain why they think this is best for you. 

 

It sounds like you are doing private treatment. Your other option is to look for a therapist who specialises in trauma or EMDR for example and just treat what you feel you need regardless. 

 

Does you body feel very slowed down most of the time or do you jump when people come close or you hear any noise? 

Edited by Fizzle
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Hi duck

You're in alberta right? So I'll make my response specific to Albertan health system (my limited knowledge of)

Re the doctor: try some new doctors out. If look on primary care or Ahs you can find a list of doctors accepting new patients. Doctors opinions vary widely particularly with mental health. I had one doctor who completely ignored my very descriptive (and DiY research done by me) anxiety problems for anlong time and kept trying to say I was depressed. I wasn't then I was very anxious. Finally she was gone once for holidays and a student doctor diagnosed me immediately with GAD. The same doctor completely ignored my very cut and dry textbook case of dermatillomania (ocd like skin picking disorder) she didn't even know what it was and started writing that I was depressed again.t hen years later I was diagnosed ptsd by a new doctor who disnt really give her much thought IT was pretty much me saying this is my symptoms, these are the list of traumas I witnessed recently, and she was like oh yes ptsd.

So shop around - try some new doctors and avoid the medicentres if you can. If they ask if ubhave a family doc already say yes but I'm moving to that beighbourhood now (where the doc U are trying to get on)

2ndly, the therapists/counsellors just a disclaimer this is my humble opinion I have formed over the last six years working in the field of addictions crisis social work and mental health. . IMHO the relationships with therapists and counsellors or social workers should be more equal in the sense that together you decide on treatment plan and method. Don't be afraid to give some direction and input - my biggest issue is like to focus on for now is ------ because the affect it has on my quality of life is largely negative. Do some reading about different counsellong styles - talking/interpersonal, cognitive behavioural therapy, DBT, emdr, etc. Ask questions and decide what you think would workbbest for U.

For psychologists I think their role can be a little stiffer because they will use more assessments and more stricter methods to shift patient thinking. This is not negative i just personally believe sometimes, a lot of times what we need to have is someone to share our experiences fully and openly with first almost like a grief and loss strategy--- if u have suffered major health losses or trauma, u must grieve the loss of your health and grieve the trauma that you witnessed. Sometimes I believe this type of relationship is more likely with a counsellor vs a psychologist.

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I have been seeing my pdoc and therapist for almost two years and they are  of little help to me.  

 

I have told them repeatedly how I am feeling, about my anger, rage, and hate yet they refuse to listen or they listen but do not take me seriously.

Two weeks ago my pdoc told me,"You are smiling. You should think about going back to work." One day I am smiling and this guy thinks I am okay.  

My therapist whom I pay $140 per visit out of my pocket has not done anything for me. He is focussed on the future.  I have looked for other therapist's but their approach is the same.

 

I told my therapist I think I have PTSD and he asked me some questions and he decided that i did not have it.

I am sure I have PTSD.  

 

I spent the whole night writing detailed painful experiences from my past which I plan to give to my therapist. I explained how angry I was with people that hurt me and I hope them ill will. I plan to give this to my therapist. He wants details and I will give him details.

 

 

Are there any drawbacks to this? Can my therapist use it against me?

 

Thanks.

I understand completely ,,, most really can't relate.  My wife still can't relate after 20+ years ,,, 

Hopefully being on here helps relieve some frustration.

 

I hear you about being hurt from past experiences as I hang on to everything.

 

Hang in there :}

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Thank you Fizzle. I did fill out an online form and gave  it to my therapist but he said it was too general. He wanted more details. He wants me to be specific as possible.

I had sustained rage for most of 2013 and all of 2014.  My friends and family noticed my change in behavior.

 

I told my psychiatrist about and he said I may have ptsd but declined to threat me.  I will be seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow so I will discuss my issues with him again.

 

Thanks again Fizzle.

Thats BS that they need specific details as my mother was lead to believe she was abused as a child BECAUSE the doctors kept digging untill 

they made her mind reach for any small detail or reason. It's a load of crap.

Your smarter than them and maybe it's more frustrating trying to educate them.

 

Find a friend to talk to and more than likely you'll feel better wo spending a $140 a visit.

 

I told my therapist that I wasn't going any more. Not that I don't need it , it's just that she sat there , never noted a thing and watched the clock

above my head to make sure we didn't go over the 50 min. alloted time. NOT IMPRESSED !

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Thank you for your feedback  One More Red Nightmare, highanxiety, Fizzle, Wrenn84, C George.  

 

Just a brief sketch of my life.

 

Mom was violent and verbally abusive to myself, siblings, and dad. If I made a mistake I would be hit by fist or cane by my mom. One time she hit me with a piece of wood that had nails on it. I had to be perfect.  

 

My school teachers were also violent towards me and other children. If we forgot to spell a word we would get hit. We had to be perfect.

 

I was always anxious from a little kid.

 

I developed physical symptoms  such as cold hands and feet at age eleven. I still have this today.

 

From age seventeen  to age twenty eight I saw 37 docs.  I threatened suicide on Wednesday February 8, 1995 and was committed to a hospital where I met an excellent psychiatrist who diagnosed me with GAD.  I was placed on Prozac which really helped. My psychiatrist  saw me every month and he listened to me and gave me great advice on how to deal with my issues.  He has since moved away to a different province.

 

I began working with company D in 2004 as a driver and things went well for me. I was happy and content. Around 2008 people were getting fired for no reason so we voted in a union.  Then things got worse.  Management hired their relatives and made them supervisors and managers. Many positions were created and at one time we had two managers and nine supervisors compared to before the union when we had only one manager and one supervisor.

 

These people in management did nothing all day and the were literally walking around downtown Edmonton going from one coffee shop to another all day. They were clueless and they overloaded us with work.  

 

We got a new manager and he was a total a$$.  He argued with me from time to time. He did not know the company policy and I had to educate him.  I did not understand this. Where in my job description does it say I have to educate my manager?

 

I was over loaded with work by then and I did not get my lunch break and I had to work past my finish time every day for free.  I really needed my lunch break to rest but did not get any.

 

I documented everything for three weeks and gave it to the union.  The management told the union several lies about. Management said I was coming to work late everyday and I was finishing early and going home.  This was all crap yet the union believed the management.  I was mad.

 

In 2012 I applied for a different job in my department and I got it. We had a new manager who was really good.  I worked for a few months when things started to get worse. I was overloaded with work again and I could not handle it. I also had to deal with incompetent and lazy people from time to time.  Since we got the union it would appear everyone became lazy and bossy towards me.  Co-workers would make mistakes and I was told to fix it or I received a warning letter.  

 

I also faced a lot of verbal abuse from female co-workers.  They were in the wrong and yet they were complaining about me.  I was so angry I told my friends these people need a good beating.

 

I had to be perfect while others were slacking off.  This brought back memories from my childhood. I had to be perfect while others could do whatever they want.  There two set of rules. One set for me and a different set for others.  I became more and more angry and enraged.

 

Then management and the province of Alberta implemented some new rules and I could not take it any more. I was being treated like a convicted pedophile.  I had to call my company every half an hour while I was driving and let them know my whereabouts. I had to do this while I was driving. I had to use a hand held phone and this was against the law and company policy. It is against the law in Alberta to use a hand held phone while driving yet at the same time I have to check in on the hour and half hour.

 

The province of Alberta made these rules that contradict each other. I also had a second phone and a scanner which kept track of where I am at all times.  The second phone/scanner was used to scan and record the arrival and departure  time at all of my stops.  This information was displayed on giant screen monitors for everyone to see at work. Everyone at work knew where I was at all times.  I do not understand why I also have to call in.

 

My work load and this calling in thing got to me and so on May 2. 2014, I could not take it anymore and I went on disability.  I was mad about this.  I was being treated by my fellow Albertans like a convicted pedophile. 

 

I blame all Albertans for my recent illness whether it is depression or ptsd or whatever.  They abused me until I could not take it anymore.

 

When I went on disability I was making twenty seven dollars an hour and I was quite happy with it.  Now I am on disability and I have to deal with the insurance company and all the headaches. I am mad as hell.

 

I guess I will have to move on from this and find some other job because nothing will change.  I have to change.  

 

Thanks for listening.

Edited by duck
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Just saw my psychiatrist and told him about my anger towards people and he told me, "you are getting better. You should should think about getting back to work."  I told him I think I have ptsd and he said no.

 

 I told him about my past abuses and I keep remembering them.   I go over and over them in my mind and wishing the people that hurt me get cancer.  Doc again says it is depression visualize yourself going back to work. He saw me for 45 minutes. See you in February.

 

I told doc I have sustained rage since back in 2013 and he still does not get it. How can I even think about work when nothing has changed in the past two years. I am still sick.

Edited by duck
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Im sorry to hear that Duck. 

 

Im really sorry to hear that you have been through all these things too. All children (and adults) should be safe in the world and feel secure and loved. It is very wrong that you were repeatedly physically and psychologically harmed like that. I can also see why the powerlessness of the work situation would have tapped into the powerlessness and danger of your childhood. 

 

I know companies do that sort of thing here at times too and I think its very wrong. They say that human beings respond really badly to not having any control over their lives. And it sounds like they put you in a lose lose situation. I too have had breakdowns as a result of work stuff and it can make it really hard after. Some of it I feel I have never recovered from completely. I can see this had a big impact on you. 

 

You must be feeling very anxious and overwhelmed by this increasing pressure for you to start working again.  Is that the case? 

 

Which of your past abuses did you mention to him that you keep remembering? Have you ever had therapy that was about talking about your childhood experiences? How did you find your current therapist? Were you referred to her? No pressure to answer. 

Edited by Fizzle
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Hi Fizzle, thank you for taking time to read and respond to my post.

 

I never really received therapy for my childhood abuses. I do talk about it but no therapist or doctor listens to me.  

 

I told my psychiatrist again today about my childhood abuses and the abuse at work.  He remembered I had mentioned it before but did not say much about it.  

 

If I am not suffering from PTSD then I must have a new kind of depression? I don't think depressed people are angry all the time like me but then again I don't know.

 

The psychologist I see is male. I found him on the internet.   He works in the same clinic as my psychiatrist. My psychologist and psychiatrist  get together and discusses my issues on a regular basis. Back in November they sent me to a second psychiatrist for a second opinion. The second psychiatrist also stated I have depression.

 

Final note. I am the same or worse than  I was when I went on disability two years ago.  I have not improved at all.  

 

Feel free to ask anything.

 

Thanks for reading.

Edited by duck
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I imagine mental health is the same for physical/internal health. Just do what you can to help yourself.

NO doctors take me seriously in any field so far except dental..probably because a dentist is a very hands on/see everything job, can't avoid checking.

I had a pretty bad therapist and let her go after a month. Since then I've worked hard with my own mind, building barriers and sticking to things that are depressing catalyst.

Sometimes you really can only rely on yourself.

Edited by Twilight Sky
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I imagine mental health is the same for physical/internal health. Just do what you can to help yourself.

NO doctors take me seriously in any field so far except dental..probably because a dentist is a very hands on/see everything job, can't avoid checking.

I had a pretty bad therapist and let her go after a month. Since then I've worked hard with my own mind, building barriers and sticking to things that are depressing catalyst.

Sometimes you really can only rely on yourself.

Twilight Sky, that is so true. We can only rely on ourselves.

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