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How To Try And Make A Loved One Understand?


dfmike71

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I've been diagnosed with severe depression and going through hard times with work because of it. I have another thread related to that. Lately family members aren't really understanding what I'm even going through. They are so naive about depression it amazes me. My sister, who was never diagnosed with depression is taking Wellbutrin and is basically taking them to take them. So my family compares her "depression" to mine. I basically think my sister just had some bad weeks and her regular doctor just threw her some anti-depressants. Me, on the other hand is a true/deep depression. Like a black cloud following me and impossible to motivate myself to do anything. People don't understand how I internally feel at all. It gets so bad sometimes I really couldn't care about the ramifications on what happens. Then I hear "just suck it up and go back to work", "at least you have a job". I have no responses to these comments since anything I say I know they just won't understand. Is there any written material out there I can point to my family members so they can maybe understand what the heck I'm going through? It does amaze me how many people have no empathy whatsoever if they do not understand it. Family members think I can just wake up and visit them with an hour drive with no problems. They don't realize the energy and power it takes to do something like that. I hear from mom, "just get in your car and visit, you will feel better". And of course because of hearing everyone not understanding anything I avoid them like the plague. My mother is old school. Depression didn't even exist when she was younger. No one really understands but even after lots of searches online I haven't found something that would explain at least a little bit in layman's terms what someone is going through or feeling with depression. Any suggestions where to point people to read? Everything so far relating to depression has been an uphill battle. Nothing has been easy. The first day taking off work and since then just has been complete stress because of paperwork, disability crap, NJ/state disability crap, everything. It seems I'm actually worse then before! 

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Mike,

What makes you feel alive?

 

If your time was truly your own?

 

You don't owe them an explanation.  I get depressed when I'm feeling obligated to live out somebody else's expectations instead of my life, maybe you can relate.  Go make one bold step toward YOUR life today.  Another bold step tomorrow.  When the real you can start to emerge, you can start to beat this thing.  

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I can relate to you dfMike71. I have found it very difficult to explain my depression to people. I can never seem to put into words the amount of despair and loneliness I feel. Even when I try, my descriptions are never enough. I wish I could give you some advice about this, but I think that no matter how much literature people read about depression, they will never really understand unless they have been there. I hope you find some relief.

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I don't think there is a way to make someone "understand" unless they have gone thru it themselves..felt it themselves...they aren't going to "get it".

 

ive lost everyone because of it and I find that if I just don't mention it, the better off I am. I try to put on a smile and pretend.

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It can get so frustrating trying to explain to someone that it is something deeper than just being sad for a little bit. The only person who can understand me is my boyfriend. Hes been where I am right now, and he is a huge support system. I couldn't imagine having nobody to turn to and understand me. And I also hate hearing the stupid questions. And there is no escaping them either. When its too hard to get out of bed and to take a shower or eat, its something more than sadness. theres usually something else fueling it. It doesn't help having someone close to you making it seem like a joke. I know how that is too. my mother would constantly claim she was depressed to everyone around her except for me. I knew she wasn't, she just needed something for attention. I hope things can get better and you can find someone who will listen. of course we don't know eachother but I know how hard it is to find support. and if you really need it, I am here

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