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Ghastly

Need Help Finding What Disorder I Have

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Hello

 

I have been searching the web for the name of the mental disorder I have. I am probably using the wrong words for the symptoms I have am searching for in google, I was wondering if anyone here knows what I might have so I can look for help easier.

 

I have depression of some sort which I assume this ties into. My main problem is that I don't feel anything from life, I don't get anything out of my senses. It feels like I am viewing the world through a tunnel or something. My brain just sits there dull and lifeless and everything I see, hear, taste, smell, feel travels to my brain and gets lost on the way. When I go to the beach I want to be all "This is the beach it is lovely!" but instead I only really feel probably 20% of the stimulation a normal person would feel. It is like if you were watching a movie you didn't care for and only paid attention to it now and then. It means I have trouble making decisions too, for a small example if I was going to order food from a menu I assume most people's brains tell them what they want, I don't feel anything, I am neutral to all choices so it makes them hard to make.

 

The biggest issue is that since I don't feel anything I don't want to do anything and I don't get anything out of life. I do what I have to, I go to work, I eat, and when I have spare time I play games for escapism. But I never feel the need to smile or the desire to do something or see something. I have been this way my entire life and I know it ties into depression but it must be its own medical condition as well. And if it is then I can maybe find help somehow. And I mean find help by internet doctering, I am fed up with the health industry. Being a male today in a world that hates men is difficult and many men are alone and isolated, me included. Perhaps if I can get some feeling then I can figure out what i am and what I should do on a daily basis.

 

thanks.

Edited by Ghastly

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That does sound like a possibility, although since it is part of depression I guess it could just be depression. I am on Sertraline now for depression which has numbed me even more but I don't really feel depression so I can either be a complete robot or be part robot and have massive depression attacks.

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Just sounds like depression. If you had full blown anhedonia you wouldn't even be able to play games for escapism. Sorry you've struggled for so long.

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