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I just wanted to drop by and tell everyone that i feel that i'm recovering from Anhedonia/Inability to experience pleasure/dead libido/insomnia.

 

It began three days ago, i was sleeping and in my dream i was hearing music, and a song came on and its like it reminded me of something blocked in my head. The feeling or something that makes your heart race and makes you feel really good. It was amazing! 

 

I was watching tv this morning and seen a women on tv and i kindof felt like, wow she's attractive. I havent felt like that in like, three years? 

 

This is actually happening, i think in my case, it has to do with belief. Lately, i feel like i believe that ill be ok, as corny as that sounds. I feel like a negative part of me is being pushed out by belief. Its a funny feeling. I feel like i remember things too. Like, things that have happened in the last few years that made me give up? 

 

This is the first time i feel ANY improvement in years. I believe for me, anhedonia was a belief problem, like i gave up hope, or something. Sometime in the last 5 years i gave up. I forgot what it felt like to believe. 

 

I'm not 100%, but i feel like if this keeps up, and i stay positive like i have been in the last few months, that this fog will lift and ill be the happy anxious person i've always been

 

:smilingteeth:

Edited by ComingHome
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That's great to hear.. if I could feel happiness for you I would! It seems that those who recover (I know you're not out the woods yet..) are the ones with a resolute belief that they can overcome it. Even the smallest of 'windows' must give such impetus to keep fighting hard.

 

May I ask what triggered your anhedonia/depression..?

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A combination of things. Stress, ptsd, anxiety. It got worst after meds. Meds erased my personality and that was years ago

And now that I look back I lost most of my friends and then got arrested. So it was a process.

Ive never had a window so this is like, a miracle to me . I feel like doing donuts in my car or something haha

Edited by ComingHome
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Seems like everyone who gets it is from some form of chronic stress. Keep us posted if the window 'remains open' if you feel so obliged to (don't blame you if not, I'd be to busy livin' if this crap went!) :)

 

Go do them donuts! 

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not everyone gets it from chronic stress Ianar. I had no stress till this curse started.

 

OP, I hope the best for you. After hitting 400mg on lamotrigine I started feeling like something was happening. I started having dreams again.... which though I cant say for sure I haven't been having them for last 5 years; fact all sudden I remember having them says something. I would not say an actual window but things feel different. I even cried the other day for something on TV. Only lasted for few seconds but happen. Funny thing is its not something I woulda normally shed tear for back when was normal.  My fiance swears she saw me smile the other day briefly, and even claims I chuckled a tiny bit when watched Frasier. I got no proof of either of her claims hehe.

 

Three days ago I bumped the dose up to 500mg. Next day I caught myself singing in the shower!!! What is significant about that to me is fact Ive NEVER in my life done that. Again only for a min but it happen. As far as orgasms go (which was first thing I lost) they have not returned but when ejaculate it feels as if Im just on the edge. Like there is just this thin veil... watching just for me push through. no libido change :(  which really sucks when living with a beautiful Filipina that happens be a borderline nympho. Borderline is her words.. Im convinced shes full fledge.

 

My girl told me not to read to much into these things (shes a psychiatrist) as while she prays I get better she is afraid Ill get hopes up to much and become crushed if it does not lead to a remission. Fingers crossed....

Edited by been_too_long
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