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shiznit76

Lifetime Depression

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Yes, I have had it undiagnosed on and off most of my life since being 13.  I am now 33. It saddens me also as I used to be a very smart and bright child. I was elevated a year at the start of high school as I was ahead of my peers. Then it's like the depression started eating away at my brain. I became extremely self-concious, developed an eating disorder, became anxious and depressed and had no motivation to study or find a good job.

I feel like I lost a huge part of my life and opportunities because of this disease, and like I cant explain that to anyone who has not had chronic depression or mental illness.

Edited by AmberV

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Thats like me Amber, it has ruined so much of my life

YEP! 

 

I'd say its prevented me getting a job i should be doing, having a relaxed enjoyable life, going holidays, even visiting places. It sucks!!! Don't get me wrong, I have a great wife and do hold down a job, but i hate this time of year when everyone seems sooooo happy and doing stuff, and right now im feeling rubbish and down.

Do you take meds?

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Thanks for posting this, I'm sure even more can relate. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I have had clinical depression always(I'm in my 40's now) There is a history of depression/anxiety in my family, so it is for sure genetic. But, then circumstances I went through/go through make it more severe.

I have been on meds for about 7 years. They help me push through each day, I still have severe anxiety, but the meds keep it from becoming a full blown panic attack.

My depression is a heavy weight...always. If I was not on medicine, there is no way I would still be here. So, even though I struggle, the meds help me from completely losing it.

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Depression and anxiety since my mid 20s. 40 now. If im not on meds im a mess and can't function. Ots genetic/biological but life stressors make it worse.

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Depression and anxiety since my mid 20s. 40 now. If im not on meds im a mess and can't function. Ots genetic/biological but life stressors make it worse.

Do your meds allow you to live a normal life?

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I get jealous of people who can even get temporary relief on antidepressants. I don't get except side effects.

I had a Co-worker tell me a story of when he went through depression dealing with a mid-life crisis. He mentioned not wanting to get out of bed for a couple months and just a feeling of dread. He then said it went away and he's been fine ever since. Then he proceeded to give me a self righteous speech about depression. I had to laugh. If he only knew. I must have been suffering from my mid-life crisis since grade school.

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I was in my mid twenties when i started to have a problem , i know that typically later on then  most people. The death of my grandmother set it off now i am 37 so i am about 13 years into this kinda life style

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I feel exactly the same. Most of my friends have had depression at one point. Most have taken meds. But they all seem to have gotten over it and are fine now. Why can't I?

That is so like folk i know. They understand how bad it can be, but because they got relief with the meds they think everyone should.It's gutting for us not to be able find relief

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I get jealous of people who can even get temporary relief on antidepressants. I don't get ###### except side effects.

I had a Co-worker tell me a story of when he went through depression dealing with a mid-life crisis. He mentioned not wanting to get out of bed for a couple months and just a feeling of dread. He then said it went away and he's been fine ever since. Then he proceeded to give me a self righteous speech about depression. I had to laugh. If he only knew. I must have been suffering from my mid-life crisis since grade school.

Do you still take meds?

How does the depression affect your everyday life?

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No. I quit them cold turkey, obviously against my doc's orders, but he was garbage anyways. Every single day I struggle to find even the slightest reason to keep on living. I am struggling in my career because every little task seems almost impossible. My girlfriend is sick of my so I don't know how much longer that is going to last. I have trouble maintaining relationships with friends and family because I am "checked out" so often. Most days are filled with anxiety from the moment I wake until I go to sleep. My sleep is often very restless and accompanied by night terrors, causing me to wake several times with my heart beating out of my chest, so I can't even use sleep to escape, although that seems to be all I want to do anymore. I don't enjoy much of anything. I'm pretty ****ing miserable, so yeah, it really sucks. All relief from this seems to be only temporary, and then I am right back to my normal state; a depressed anxious basket case.

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No. I quit them cold turkey, obviously against my doc's orders, but he was garbage anyways. Every single day I struggle to find even the slightest reason to keep on living. I am struggling in my career because every little task seems almost impossible. My girlfriend is sick of my ###### so I don't know how much longer that is going to last. I have trouble maintaining relationships with friends and family because I am "checked out" so often. Most days are filled with anxiety from the moment I wake until I go to sleep. My sleep is often very restless and accompanied by night terrors, causing me to wake several times with my heart beating out of my chest, so I can't even use sleep to escape, although that seems to be all I want to do anymore. I don't enjoy much of anything. I'm pretty ******* miserable, so yeah, it really sucks. All relief from this seems to be only temporary, and then I am right back to my normal state; a depressed anxious basket case.

man, you are sooooooo like me

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What meds do you take survivingdepression?

When you say your meds help you, are you ever totally fine, or always feel a slight anxiety?

I take zoloft, and an extended release anti anxiety med...I always feel ..weird/off. Have anxiety always, but meds help it from escalating. 

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Depression and anxiety since my mid 20s. 40 now. If im not on meds im a mess and can't function. Ots genetic/biological but life stressors make it worse.

Do your meds allow you to live a normal life?

 

For the most part. I am tired a lot, and have the sexual side effects that are common, but yes, I have a full time job and can function well. I recommend meds if you cant live a normal life without being on them.

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I've been dealing with depression for 20 years out of my almost 33 years of life.  At least that's the first time I was conscious of it, and I was 12 when I had my first suicide attempt.  3 years later I started self-injuring and that lasted for quite a few years as well.  I feel like I'll never be sorted out and will never feel just... good.  Feel like I'm comfortable with life.  I'm sure genetics aren't playing in my favor, but its always one thing after another that triggers my depression to relapse over and over again.  I doubt I'll ever get ahead of it.

do you take meds to help, and do they?

how often do you have depressive times?

 

 

Sorry for the late reply, work has been ******* me X_X

 

I do take meds, Lexapro everyday.  And they help, to an extent.  Like I doubt I would be a functioning human at all without them, but I still feel like I'm not living up to the potential life I could have.  Or the happiness I could feel.  I find I feel really devoid of emotions and then I'll have a depressive slump.  The meds help me not self-injure or anything more extreme, but I still don't feel like I'm living a normal life.  I usually get depressive times once a month or more, so it could be worse, but it could be better.

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Add me to the list of people with 'lifelong' depression.  My mother told me of an event when I was six and I dropped to the floor and cried saying I wanted to die. This wasn't some simple tantrum. (That's when I first saw a pediatric psychiatrist.)  However, I consider the 'start' of my depression to be when I actually learned I was depressed, which was after I landed in hospital because of a suicidal ideation at age sixteen. Prior to this, I didn't know about depression, and didn't know why I felt the way I did. 

 

Fast forward over three decades from that point, and I feel like this is it for me. I gave up a long time ago.  It's kind of like the stages of grief, where you get to 'acceptance'. Once I accepted that this is it for me--once I stopped 'fighting' it--things became less painful. Honestly, I have always found it worse to try to 'beat' my depression and fail, than to just 'endure' it. I'm used to the mental pain now, and while it still hurts, it hurts a lot more to keep failing.  In some ways I'm 'past' suicide now, since I feel that even a suicide attempt would make things worse. Yeah I know that sounds illogical, but I feel like something would go wrong and I would end up in worse shape than I am now. 

 

Instead I try to live vicariously those people that I help to cope with their depression. It's especially gratifying when I can help a teen who feels their life is over to re-evaluate their life, and then later on they tell me about how they are 'better'.  Knowing they won't suffer the way I am suffering is a small consolation, but I'll take what I can get.

 

 

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I've been dealing with depression for 20 years out of my almost 33 years of life.  At least that's the first time I was conscious of it, and I was 12 when I had my first suicide attempt.  3 years later I started self-injuring and that lasted for quite a few years as well.  I feel like I'll never be sorted out and will never feel just... good.  Feel like I'm comfortable with life.  I'm sure genetics aren't playing in my favor, but its always one thing after another that triggers my depression to relapse over and over again.  I doubt I'll ever get ahead of it.

do you take meds to help, and do they?

how often do you have depressive times?

 

 

Sorry for the late reply, work has been ******* me X_X

 

I do take meds, Lexapro everyday.  And they help, to an extent.  Like I doubt I would be a functioning human at all without them, but I still feel like I'm not living up to the potential life I could have.  Or the happiness I could feel.  I find I feel really devoid of emotions and then I'll have a depressive slump.  The meds help me not self-injure or anything more extreme, but I still don't feel like I'm living a normal life.  I usually get depressive times once a month or more, so it could be worse, but it could be better.

 

Same meds as me, and same results by sounds of it.

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