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I wonder if any of my old friends think about me as randomly as I might think about them.

Memories can be funny. I miss having friends, but I don't think I'm interesting enough to make friends at this point in my life. Or I just don't want to make the effort.

Trying to work on me first, either way.

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18 hours ago, WordsInTheWind said:

I wonder if any of my old friends think about me as randomly as I might think about them.

Memories can be funny. I miss having friends, but I don't think I'm interesting enough to make friends at this point in my life. Or I just don't want to make the effort.

I often wonder the same about some of my old "friends". sometimes I feel like they have completely forgotten me even though I could never forget them. I eventually gave up trying to get back close to them because I realized they didn't want it, they want to move on and there is nothing i can do.

 

Yes memories can be a beautiful thing, but they can also be a nightmare. Even the best memories can be a curse during depression

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1 hour ago, SonOfTom said:

I often wonder the same about some of my old "friends". sometimes I feel like they have completely forgotten me even though I could never forget them. I eventually gave up trying to get back close to them because I realized they didn't want it, they want to move on and there is nothing i can do.

 

Yes memories can be a beautiful thing, but they can also be a nightmare. Even the best memories can be a curse during depression

It's usually my dreams that betray me, bringing back these faces from a lifetime ago - somehow they become important to which ever adventure my sleep creates; even if I haven't so much as said their names in years, there they are by my side again. If I want them to be or not.

You can only do so much to avoid nightmares, sadly.

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My uncle's family is throwing him a big 70th birthday bash. First off, I can't believe it's been ten years since his 60th. The last time I saw him and my aunt was at my sister's wedding a few years ago; they couldn't make it to mine two years ago. I would love to go to the birthday events, but round-trip tickets from Florida to Connecticut are upwards of $400! There's no way I could afford it, and driving is out of the question because of my anxiety. It's depressing, because I don't know when I'll see my aunt and uncle again. My aunt's health is pretty bad, and both of them are obese and have physical complications. I hope I get to see them again in the next few years.

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I have been knocked out for almost two days. I slept almost all day yesterday and then all night. Today, I slept most of the day too, only waking up in the last hour. The only thing I can think of is that going up 2.5 mg on one of my pills is making me tired? If that's the case, it's pretty crazy that it can affect my body this much.

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On 3/21/2017 at 6:28 PM, sober4life said:

More than anything I wish I could find the love of my life.  I have found her but only pain has been there.  I want to find someone that loves me the way I do.  I want to spend my entire life devoted to her happiness.

I feel exactly the same way about the love of my life. We apparently "aren't speaking" now. Excuse me while I go punch myself into oblivion.

 

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Just finished looking at 5 houses the last 2 days. 1 is a joke, period. 2 are cramped at best, currently occupied, and 1 of them is inhabited by pigs. 2 look really good from the outside and pictures, but they want us to apply for them now, but we can't go in and look at them yet... w/t/f?

 

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30 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I feel exactly the same way about the love of my life. We apparently "aren't speaking" now. Excuse me while I go punch myself into oblivion.

 

I know you feel the same way.  It makes me want to lay down on the busy highway thinking about it.  I'll probably talk to her a million more times.  I doubt anything happening could stop me from making that mistake again.  I have been a total loser my whole life.  I would be the black sheep of any family at this point.  More than anything I want things to turn around for us.  What the hell did we do to deserve this life?:coopcray:

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Now I feel terrible. I just heard from that love of my life--she's so ill with a throat infection that she can't really talk. She croaked that info to me and I couldn't stop apologizing. I'm such a bozo.

Like I've said elsewhere: I **** up everything.

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