sober4life Posted September 22, 2018 Share Posted September 22, 2018 I feel like everything I did the last few years to survive was a waste of time. I should have let myself die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Body is revolting once again. Very sick this weekend. Had to cancel plans. I feel like I'm at a new phase of life, and it's not a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tilted Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 (edited) Make that 1,476 days in a row... On 8/21/2016 at 7:34 AM, Tilted said: Severely depressed for the 698th day in a row... Edited October 8, 2018 by Tilted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeC33U Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 Ive been having a lot of thoughts that I may be better off dead. Its not new its just been harder to silence lately. Think I'll try fluoxetine again,hopefully it helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted October 28, 2018 Share Posted October 28, 2018 My mood has been way off and I have no clue why. My sudden physical meltdown isn't helping, but there is something else. Plans cancelled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChopinLover Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 Good. Played the piano at my classical music club meeting today. Enjoyed playing and being around my friends. I’m feeling more and more like my old self. What a relief! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niffymaru Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 I feel empty. I don't care, yet I feel guilty. It's too soon to tell if it's because of my new medications, but hopefully this will all pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChopinLover Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 On 9/21/2018 at 7:20 PM, sober4life said: I feel like everything I did the last few years to survive was a waste of time. I should have let myself die. Sober4Life, During the brief time I’ve been hanging around here, I have come to have a lot of respect for you. I’m so glad you are here, and I’m sure there are many others who feel the same way. ChopinLover 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 24 minutes ago, ChopinLover said: Sober4Life, During the brief time I’ve been hanging around here, I have come to have a lot of respect for you. I’m so glad you are here, and I’m sure there are many others who feel the same way. ChopinLover That's a very sweet thing to say and I feel the same way about you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I had a very good talk with my LCSW the other day. She encOuraged me to get out there and do stuff, and that it doesn't need to be too scary to change from the routine a bit. Unfortunately, tonight was not he night due to a shoulder injury, so I missed out on a volleyball game. And tomorrow there doesn't appear to be any reason to go out, so, maybe Saturday. Either volleyball or baseball. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 No sports lately. And this weekend, I have been suffering from major GI issues plus chills. Plus, today, a woman yelled at me for some ongoing problem that I was never made aware of. I tend to feel like a dunce, and feel a sense of an impending crash onto my world, as if it will be one of those days where everybody gets angry at me for one reason or another. Luckily, that did not happen. But I'm a bit anxious about tomorrow, my birthday celebration (one day early). I'm kind of worrie that I won't be able to pull myself up and enjoy the moment, if only for the sake of my parents, who will call me on it if I don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epictetus Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 I'm feeling generally upbeat today. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 My dad has been planning to try to meet my aunt's family halfway so that my mom can see her sister (we live in Florida, my aunt lives in Connecticut). Well, after talking with my cousin, they have decided to just come down here to spend a week with us in April. But here's the thing. I should be excited about it, but instead I'm feeling anxiety. A whole week with my aunt and uncle and great uncle and cousins and their kids is a lot. I love them but...if I have to listen to them tell me how to fix my life it's going to ruin it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Now my legs are burning and I'm reading up on infertility issues and feeling increasingly depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Once again, I am sick in advance of a monthly meeting I was hoping to attend. Previous to late 2017, I had been a regular, but now it's very intermittent. Plus, a messageboard that I lost my credentials to and just regianed them to seems to have become very close to dead when I need it the most. So, today I have felt bouts of maybe both sadness and depression. I don't know. I just feel very detached from my life, not knowing which direction it should go, nor who my friends and loved ones are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 I don't have any fight left and there's nothing worth fighting for anyway. I've hated my entire life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Pretty good. Yesterday must've been a fluke because I went back down on the scale, to a new low. I also used some Target gift cards to buy myself some cute leggings and a jumpsuit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Beat from 10 hours in the ER relating to a bladder injury I caused myself. Surgery may be pending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epictetus Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I feel okay today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 Crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 40 years of living the same day over and over like the movie Groundhog Day. I feel about the way you would expect. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 Dessicated and desolated... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silverkit Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 Today was trying. Started off fine. Afternoon and evening, tired, anxious, tearful, with a dash of dread. The tired, anxious and sad are normal for me, the dread hasn't happened for quite a couple of years and it's concerning. But I have to remember that I've felt much worse in the past - much worse. And right now, I feel pretty OK. I'd like to go for a good walk but it's late at night now and anyway I'm wary of over-exerting myself. Think I'll put on a video and march in place for a while. Get the blood flowing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 (edited) I reached out and tried to make a new friend today. It didn't work. But I did try. I feel a heightened awareness of my isolation. Edited March 6, 2019 by TopekaK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 By touching things, like most days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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