evalynn Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 6 hours ago, evalynn said: And now pretty good. lol Idk what the hell is going on with me. ...to furious. white-hot burning rage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nirah007 Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 (edited) Very very very very Low on motivation.. I really really need to pick myself up and push and encourage myself to live this life and do my daily necessities at least.. and feeling so so alone in this world.. Edited January 19, 2018 by nirah007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hertz Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 Distress, confusion, doubt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oxred81 Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 hi guys! So I had an ok start to the day - made some porridge and tea and replied to a few emails from bed. the step to getting up has been super hard though. I live with my parents so I don't need to go and get food or anything, it's pi**ing it down with rain outside...trying ot keep the motivation going!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whostolemyfunny Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 Completely libido-less and really concerned about it, I know I'm going through a bad patch of depression right now, but even so I feel like half a man and that something is drastically broken. I hope its the venlafaxine. I really do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxiousE Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 (edited) woke up good and hopeful, then stuff went to hell! *irritated and annoyed* I'm actually irritated with others, but irritated with myself too because of all the time I keep wasting Biotching about everything, but D***it, I'm supposed to be keeping track of my moods, right??! bleh! *lol I guess that answers my question about cursing. I try to keep it to a minimum, but days like this it comes out. Hope it's ok. Edited January 23, 2018 by anxiousE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizardwarrior315 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Fine for the most part. I have to wake up at 5am for work, so that's going to be kind of rough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nirah007 Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Still trying to find the motivation to push myself, because no one else is going to do it for me. Trying to love myself enough to work harder. I will never have this day again. I must make it count. New day. Every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted January 27, 2018 Share Posted January 27, 2018 Like a million dollars. Haha only kidding. Fcked up as usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 I haven't dropped by here for a while, and it seems like this website feels different than it used to. I need to post more. So...my mother came over for about an hour. Very, very (unnecessarily) talkative as usual. Repeating a lot of themes to me. Getting really philosophical about my life, and it was just draining. It wasn't a fight. Just a weird conversation---but one that sees like it was necessary somehow. My father will meet with us both on Friday, and hopefully I will no longer be stalled in the water. As for my general life, I've emotionally been OK, but I have been trying to convince myself to cancel plans and be a homebody lately. Like, I've felt this need to oversimplify plans lately. And something about that seems depressive even though my emotions have been adequate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted March 27, 2018 Share Posted March 27, 2018 Wow. OK, it's 4:13 am. I awoke just before 4am, and vague but intense thoughts were bouncing around in my head. I awoke from a nightmare that didn't even seem like a nightmare at the time, just a richly textured dream tat was in some ways deeply steeped in real life. Ever since I woke up, it's like my philosophical side has slammed into overdrive and I'm trying to get off that flying carousel. I do truly feel like my conversation with my mother dredged up emotions. The conversation was just about life after my parents die, which I do think is sort of anxiety-producing because how am I supposed to get by? And why, at 42, has self care and "Life Skills 101" evaded me? Odd question to be asking myself, since I have a hard time getting along with her a lot of the time. She expects herself and those around her to be so cheerful, and when I can't live up to that, it's as if somebody has failed: either me or her. She is an LCSW (retired), so I guess it seems like these difficulties shouldn't be happening, but they do. I'm disabled from birth, my biological father stroked when I was maybe 8, and died when I was 14. My mother was our sole caretaker for a while. To this day, I am unclear what sort of help she ever asked for. If any. She also grew up around a lot of alcohol. Thankfully she and my uncle are doing extremely well in that department. I love dry white alcohol and cheap lager, but I drink less than once a month, and only 16 oz. at a time or so. My body stops me every time (unless my conscience kicks in first). So I feel very well educated in that department, and feel very lucky for it. It's early. I'm rambling. My mind (perhaps thankfully) is kind of shutting down again. I guess this is all I have to say, unless anybody has any questions. Nice to be back. I think I'll stick around a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisRiel Posted April 20, 2018 Share Posted April 20, 2018 Excited and terrified about ehat lies ahead and tired Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 I feel unsettled. I got a new computer a couple weeks ago, but now all my passwords are gone, so among other things, I am shut out from the main messageboard that I was once a part of. If I make a new account, then both accounts will be banned. I still do lurk on there, and I notice nobody has inquired as to my whereabouts. Kind of makes me sad. As well, none of my family members on FB are answering my friend requests. I feel kind of rejected, and just plain burned out. Finally, my sleep patterns are way off. I have been napping a lot for its own sake, and not because I am actually tired. All of this just makes me feel weird. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 I feel a whole lot better than yesterday. I was going through wellbutrin withdrawals and I wanted to climb the walls and/or be heavily sedated. I got my prescription refilled after 3 days of being off so today I feel almost "normal" again. Or what passes as normal for me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oxred81 Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Hey Handon, I find whenever I ‘test’ people like this they never meet my expectations and it’s really easy to see it as them not really caring but try not to think like that. If it’s not getting you the response you want (eg family on Facebook) try a different way. You want to be in touch with them and feel they care right? Why not text them instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 (edited) On 6/1/2018 at 2:50 PM, JD4010 said: I feel a whole lot better than yesterday. I was going through wellbutrin withdrawals and I wanted to climb the walls and/or be heavily sedated. I got my prescription refilled after 3 days of being off so today I feel almost "normal" again. Or what passes as normal for me. That's good to hear. I've been thinking of quitting everything CT. Did you run out? (I'm also on wellutrin, and others) Edited June 2, 2018 by TopekaK add info 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Rotten. Having trouble with insurance and doctors. How do I handle it? Stay in the house all day and shake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 21 hours ago, TopekaK said: That's good to hear. I've been thinking of quitting everything CT. Did you run out? (I'm also on wellutrin, and others) Ya, I ran out. But I wanted to see what it was like to be without. One of these days, I won't be able to afford keeping up with prescriptions. I probably should start weaning myself off now. But I fear I'll wind up in the rubber room. It was HORRIBLE. I tried cutting out citalopram once too. That was even worse. The brain zaps are completely debilitating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 4 hours ago, JD4010 said: Ya, I ran out. But I wanted to see what it was like to be without. One of these days, I won't be able to afford keeping up with prescriptions. I probably should start weaning myself off now. But I fear I'll wind up in the rubber room. It was HORRIBLE. I tried cutting out citalopram once too. That was even worse. The brain zaps are completely debilitating. Ugh!! I hear ya. Always thinking of quitting, but too scared. I'm on Prozac and gabapentin too. Just started a Vitamin D scrip. It definitely gives a bit of a kick, much more so than store bought. I think I could quit if I lived in a remote place and could afford a lot of spa treatment! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted June 4, 2018 Share Posted June 4, 2018 Better than yesterday but dreading necessary phone calls in the morning. So bad at that kind of thing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted June 8, 2018 Share Posted June 8, 2018 Unhinged Good/bad/ugly/elated/anxious/annoyed/meh/notsomeh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LouisRiel Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 Fairly stable 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handon Frypan Posted June 15, 2018 Share Posted June 15, 2018 I am weathering a change in my personal aide staff, and transition is always hard. The aforementioned Facebook situation has definitely improved, so that's good. Finally, I have problems with my debit card, and am panicked about that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 Somewhat troubled by inherent privilege. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted June 17, 2018 Share Posted June 17, 2018 Tired of the rat race. I'm one paycheck away from bankruptcy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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