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How Do You Feel Today? #32

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My 40th birthday is tomorrow and my water will be shut off for it because of what looks like a botched shower repair (my shower is already off). I am checking into a Marriott this weekend because of the situation. I'd really like to be alone tomorrow, but I can't be because of my birthday. I need a shower.

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Had a car accident coming from physical therapy.  Nothing serious; the other driver and I backed into each other in a parking lot.  Anxious about "getting the phone call" or "making the phone call" to/from the insurance companies.  I'm grateful no one was hurt; no police necessary.  But I just want to escape and go to sleep. 

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Grateful but anxious.  Trying to enjoy the holidays, but watching time go by like a passing train. 

 

. . . feeling like the deeper your emotional well, the greater your pain and your joy.  These waters are so hard to navigate, and today I feel like crying from the depths  So scared . . . .

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Upset... my job greatly upsets me and I'm just tired of being underappreciated, undervalued, and mistreated. I get very little support. My morale is low, & motivation is low. :( Just fed up. Can't wait to leave this God awful job with my God awful boss.

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I have a really bad cold/flu. It's wiping me right out.

Went to the doctors today. Back on a mood stabilizer. Yay. Lamotrigine again.

I hated lamotrigine. Got horrible cystic acne and no doctor was able to tell me that it could be a side effect. I must google it like i was a doctor...Glad that it helps you.

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Went to the river again and sat in my favorite swing to watch the sunset.  People were out jogging and dog walking in autumn attire, and most seemed in good spirits--who'd have thought you could do this in Ohio on Christmas eve?  Some wished me a Merry Christmas, and I, them.

 

Then I went to the grocery for some last minute items, and on my way out, the almost-full moon was rising behind an old Victorian house, between the leafless trees.  It was golden, not quite silver yet, and huge.  It took my breath away, and made me very, very happy.

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I'm overall pretty happy with what I acomplished. Unfortunately, I tend to back myself into a logistics wall on Xmas, and this year is no different, but I made lemonade out of some of the lemons. Great weather, today, which helped. 

 

Unfortunately, something on the web I posted a year ago or so showed up again, and it kind of has me sad.

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feeling itchy, sneezy, generally annoyed/uncomfortable like having bad allergies tho it's not allergy season and just ur body's way of tricking you to relapse... well that was past couple days
the itch doesn't go away from itching either...

Edited by Circle

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I have a really bad cold/flu. It's wiping me right out.

Went to the doctors today. Back on a mood stabilizer. Yay. Lamotrigine again.

I hated lamotrigine. Got horrible cystic acne and no doctor was able to tell me that it could be a side effect. I must google it like i was a doctor...Glad that it helps you.

 

 

I was on it years ago, and it worked okay. They wanted to put me back on Seroquil and I flat out refused. 

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been crying a lot lately. I'll be 25 soon. I don't want to grow up anymore. I don't know where this is coming from other than 25 is halfway through my twenties. I haven't had a job, I'm still learning to drive and have a lot of school left to do. I want fun stuff, sometimes I go out and get it and feel better for a while, but then my mood always crashes again.

Money doesn't buy happiness but a temporary reprieve is better than nothing!

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