Jump to content

I Feel There Is No Hope At All Right Now...


Nissala

Recommended Posts

I feel there is no hope today. My only support person, my daughter is almost finished moving. My son and his wife who live with me are of no support at all..if whatever is happening isn't happening to them they don't care. They no longer help with the dogs so all 12 of them are totally my responsibility, they don't let them out if I'm not here or don't get up in time, they just let them mess everywhere and leave it for me to clean up. We've talked about re-homing some of them, but they are also not helping in that area....I don't want to take them to a shelter, they aren't pups. Their ages range between 5 years and 14.

 

This depression has been going on for over six months steady this time because none of the medications they have tried have worked. I have looked everywhere for work, within a 60 miles radius and although I've had interviews, no job offers. I was fired from my job at the university for a policy violation, and I think it may be why no one else wants me,,, I really don't see the point in trying to continue....it seems no one cares anyway... I have no friends, the only family I have are my children,,,my brother has pretty much given up on me,haven't heard from him but once since I returned home and that was mostly to tell me all the things that are wrong with me, all my failures,,,, so what's the point in trying anymore.... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nissala,

I feel like you still have a beautiful song in your heart.  I'm just sure of it.

 

Love sent from a new friend...

GSPolar, thank you for your kind words, I think my heart to too broken for a song to still reside there...Thanks for the love, new friends are good to have...(((Hugs)))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello, Miss Niss:

 

I'm wondering how you're doing today, right now.  What're you up to at this moment?

 

Even though our challenges are emotional problems or mental problems, the solutions are often very black-and-white, very step-by-step, very 1-2-3.

 

For example, re-homing your dogs is an excellent black-n-white solution that will relieve a huge amount of stress for you.

 

What telephone call can you make today to accomplish step 1 of re-homing your dogs?

 

My understanding is that taking one's dogs to an animal shelter is a safe, legitimate, loving and effective way to re-home animals, as people who are looking for pets will go there and choose a pet to take home.  Even older dogs find new homes with loving families.

 

Can you tell me a little bit about what the process could be, and then I can provide some encouragement for you to take each step?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello, Miss Niss:

 

I'm wondering how you're doing today, right now.  What're you up to at this moment?

 

Even though our challenges are emotional problems or mental problems, the solutions are often very black-and-white, very step-by-step, very 1-2-3.

 

For example, re-homing your dogs is an excellent black-n-white solution that will relieve a huge amount of stress for you.

 

What telephone call can you make today to accomplish step 1 of re-homing your dogs?

 

My understanding is that taking one's dogs to an animal shelter is a safe, legitimate, loving and effective way to re-home animals, as people who are looking for pets will go there and choose a pet to take home.  Even older dogs find new homes with loving families.

 

Can you tell me a little bit about what the process could be, and then I can provide some encouragement for you to take each step?

Hi Lynn, 

 

I know re-homing some of the dogs will be less financial and physical stress. I have contacted my vets office and the local humane society. The vet has a bulletin board that people can post pets for sale, or lost, or needing to be re-homed. I am out of the local humane society's jurisdiction so they suggested I contact animal control who only hold the dogs for seven days and then they are euthanized. I have worked with numerous animal rescues in the past and the trauma a dog goes through going from a home, being an inside family member, to a cold, cemented floored kennel with numerous other strange dogs barking is not something I could put them through. Unlike some people, my dogs are part of my family, they are like my children and I wouldn't put my child through that so will not traumatize my dogs that way either. Like I said in another post, these furbabies have been with me since birth with the exception of two.. one a friend could no longer take care due to my friends epileptic seizures and she begged me to take her when she was 3 months old and is now 13. The second, I found dumped at a dumpster site sitting too close to the road with a collar made of a piece of lead rope and a bent nail. She was also 3 months old and is now 9. 

 Where I am at in this whole delima is figuring out which ones I need or can re-home and which ones will stay.  There are 12 total: 1 Dachshund, 1 Chihuahua,  3 Cheweenies (babies of the first two), 6 Mastiff/pitbull mixes and 1 boxer mix. The cheweenies I nursed from a week old because the mother became hypocalcemic and would have died if she continue to try and nurse them, so I took on the job for her, even taking them to work with me during those first few weeks as they had to be fed every two hours. 

 

To me, its like trying to decide which one of my children to give up for adoption and which to raise on my own... some say "It's just a dog" but to me they are my perpetual 2 year old children with fur.  Am I crazy? Maybe, but I feel how I feel. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Got it!

 

So maybe re-homing your dogs is not at all the first challenge to tackle.  Just keep them and continue to love and care for them.

 

Try to re-frame your thoughts as you're in the middle of doing a doggie task: "Well, although cleaning up after dogs is not pleasant or easy, while I'm doing it I'm going to think about how much I love them, and later when I'm not cleaning up but just sitting around petting them, I'll get a lot of comfort that makes cleaning up the messes worthwhile."

 

Maybe think about how doggie tasks can take your mind off other troubles and give you a few moments of peace.  For example, when I was at my worst with anxiety thoughts, I started to say out loud every little action I did.  "Okay, I'm walking to the cabinet.  I'm reaching for the bag of coffee.  I'm setting the coffee on the counter.  I'm walking to the drawer for the measuring scoop." etc etc.  If I was not alone, I would think these things silently.

 

So, the example for you is "Okay, I'm picking up the water dish.  I'm walking to the sink to dump the old water.  I'm filling with fresh water.  Wow, they will love this fresh water.  I'm setting the water dish on the floor.  I'm walking to the closet to get a broom to sweep up dog hair." etc etc

 

Does this make any sense to you?  For me, it controlled my anxiety thoughts and calmed me down.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Got it!

 

So maybe re-homing your dogs is not at all the first challenge to tackle.  Just keep them and continue to love and care for them.

 

Try to re-frame your thoughts as you're in the middle of doing a doggie task: "Well, although cleaning up after dogs is not pleasant or easy, while I'm doing it I'm going to think about how much I love them, and later when I'm not cleaning up but just sitting around petting them, I'll get a lot of comfort that makes cleaning up the messes worthwhile."

 

Maybe think about how doggie tasks can take your mind off other troubles and give you a few moments of peace.  For example, when I was at my worst with anxiety thoughts, I started to say out loud every little action I did.  "Okay, I'm walking to the cabinet.  I'm reaching for the bag of coffee.  I'm setting the coffee on the counter.  I'm walking to the drawer for the measuring scoop." etc etc.  If I was not alone, I would think these things silently.

 

So, the example for you is "Okay, I'm picking up the water dish.  I'm walking to the sink to dump the old water.  I'm filling with fresh water.  Wow, they will love this fresh water.  I'm setting the water dish on the floor.  I'm walking to the closet to get a broom to sweep up dog hair." etc etc

 

Does this make any sense to you?  For me, it controlled my anxiety thoughts and calmed me down.

It makes perfect sense Lynn, but the cleaning up after them is really not the issue..my son, his wife and their two small children also live here. See when I divorced my second husband in 2003 we moved to this house (double-wide really) on 2 acres of land. This is the weird part, this place was originally purchased by my first husband and his second wife and this is where my son, his brother and sister stayed when they visited their dad. So, when I put the down payment and we moved I told my sons that when it was paid off it was theirs, even putting my oldest son on the deed, I was thinking by the time it was paid for I would either be remarried or able to purchase a small place of for me.

 

Things just didn't work out that way and after my son moved his girlfriend in, and shortly after married her, she took care of the dogs while my son and I worked. When I lost my job and had to go to Florida to work, my daughter in law was left home with the two small children and all the dogs to care for for the four months I was away and constantly complained about them. So now my son says he's tired of the dogs...and since I have no income, he has to purchase the dog food and such... it doesn't matter how I feel, no one in this house cares.  I just have to be sure that the ones I do re-home, go to loving homes..not somewhere they are kept on a chain, or stuck outside in all kinds of weather. It's going to be hard enough for them (the dogs) to go somewhere unfamiliar since they are pretty much a pack and have been together for so long... 

 

Thank you for your advice and help though, it is very much appreciated... you have a good heart... (((hugs))

Edited by Nissala
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dealing with other humans when depressed can be really challenging. When I'm depressed it can feel next to impossible to handle disrespectful cohabitants. This might not cut it for you, but one thing that gives me hope is remembering that I haven't tried every possible combination of medication / therapy / lifestyle changes, so there is still a possibility that I could make changes in my life and feel better. I hope this applies to you, at least somewhat. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...