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Sowa

Could Use Someone To Talk To

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Hello. I'm new here. No one seems to understand me so I thought I'd try this.

I'm 30 years old and this fall went back to college. I am very shy and put off school for many years so I could avoid presentations and having to speak up. I decided I was fed up with bad minimum wage jobs so I went back to school.

I'm not handling it well. Not only do I have to get over my major fear of presentations but I'm struggling with the work too. I thought computer programming was for me but it's much more difficult then I thought. So far I'm doing well but I constantly feel I will fall. I feel I'm not smart enough and eventually it won't be enough.

In orde to keep up I spend all evening after school studying and practicing. It's really wearing on me. I have no time for myself.

I feel sick to my stomach all the time. I cry all the time. I have panic attacks. And it's getting to me. I tell friends and family but they don't get it. They say I'm not stupid and I'm doing ok therefore it's ok. But it's not. I think to myself if I fell asleep tonight and didn't wake up then I would be ok with that.

I wish I didn't feel so lost and hopeless. I want to do well in school and I want to be happy.

Ps. I know I need to see a doctor I am working on that.

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I think maybe you're much smarter than you realise. You're doing well, as you said. I've been where you are and one thing I can tell you without any doubt is that no job or academic study is more important than your mental health. You need to go easier on yourself and stop working so hard. Seriously. I know it sounds like bad advice but I don't want what happened to me to happen to you which was to have a complete mental breakdown because I was so stressed about exams and doing well. Looking back it's so not worth it. I should have just dropped out of that course and done something I enjoyed.

 

You can talk to us on here anytime. You're not alone.

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Sowa - polish for owl...

owls are wise and very intellegent... just like you are!

we are all family here!! and we are here for you!! im 27 yrs old and im going to be going to college for the first time hopefully come spring!!  i know how you feel!! many of us do believe it or not....

my dear owl.. dont let this get the best of you!!!

as soon as you can get 20 post which is really easy use the live chat feature!! many of us are in there in the evening and we will be glad to be listening ears for you my dear owl!!

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    Sowa,

 

      I'd like to welcome you to the forum. There are a lot of great people here with all sorts of back grounds and experiences. We're all here for the same thing, either to help or get help. If we walk this journey together, we can win this together. First of all, stop being so hard on yourself. If you don't think you're getting enough rest at night or sleeping restless, try what's working for me. I'm sort of a health nut. About 2 hours before I go to bed, I take 2 three mgs. of Melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone produced by the human brain that tells the rest of your body it's time for sleep. I sleep on a Sleep-Number bed for at least 10 hours every night. I wake up well rested.

      If you feel the need, send me a pm and I'll respond. You can pick my brain, I don't mind.

 

 

                                                                                                                 Curtis  

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I have no time for myself

I certainly know how trapped that makes you feel. But step back from your negative bias for a second. You said you were going back to school to better your life. You may feel trapped because school does that at times. But all the time you're putting in right now is for yourself. It may not be the "fun" you envisioned you'd be doing at 30 years old. But it is time and effort you are spending on yourself.

I went back to school at 36. It's hard and it takes up a lot of your time. But it's for you. If you don't like your major, change it. Always Remember the goal. Remember why you're doing it. Please believe me when I say it's just a little time out of your life. And you will have many great years to look forward to after you're done.

Good luck!

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