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Skylark1

Self-Care

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How do you manage this? I don't even know what it means, other than trying to be kind to yourself, trying to eat some healthier things, or allowing yourself some pleasure if possible without beating yourself up over it. I have such a hard time doing anything for myself. I don't want this to be something else I fail at as an obligation, only to beat myself up even more.

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Always feeling unmotivated for self care..it's like torture to take a shower or shave your face but after some time i end up doing those no matter what to keep on living but always feeling uncleaned inside...i want to clean my inside and soul b4 taking care of myself physically.

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I have the same problems with feeling I have to drag myself to do anything. I don't know why. And I feel guilty about it, which makes me feel worse, which makes me feel more tired and harder to drag myself around... It's like I'm caught in a revolving door.

 

What about in terms of stopping the thoughts and attitudes that make you feel worse and trying to reverse them, though? I always notice I do more, and do things more easily, the better I feel about myself. I've had people tell me to "take good care of yourself" but I'm not sure I understand what they mean. Like if there's something about the way I'm treating myself, the attitude I have toward myself, that would help. I feel like there is, actually, but I've just been taught to be so hard on myself that it's hard to break out of that.

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I'll take a quick shot at this... feel free to tell me I'm off my rocker if you like!

 

What do you want to do with your life?

What are your goals in life?

What do you like to do?

What is good for you to do?

 

Are you in fact doing these things today?  Will you do them tomorrow?  Next week?  Next month?  Next year?

 

I think a lot of "take care of yourself" is pretty simple and self-explanatory.  Drive carefully, don't do drugs, don't drink excessively, blah blah blah.

 

But, then, yes, eat right and exercise.  You've only got one body.  For life.

 

And then there's the depression thing.  We get down and unfocused and waste precious minutes, hours, days, and weeks of our life that we'll never get back, doing what?  NOT pursuing goals, NOT doing what we like to do.  Being hard on ourselves because someone else told us we weren't worthy.

 

Well, you and I are as worthy of having a plan for life, pursuing success, and enjoying our existence as much as anyone.

 

And yes, there'll be days when you disappoint yourself.  We aren't the Second Coming.  Don't blow it out of proportion by thinking that because we slept until noon and ate Cheetos in our bathrobe and watched TV the rest of the day that we're worthless human beings.  Just do better tomorrow.  And the next day.

 

Just, maybe have some plans.  And work those plans to the best of your ability.  Strive to be a better person every day.  If you improve 0.3% each day, at the end of the year that's over 100% better!  You didn't get this way overnight - you won't get better overnight unless some med works a miracle (well, that DOES occasionally happen!).  But you can get better.  But you've got to do some things differently to get there.

 

Take care.

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It feels much of the time that I'm just trying to get through moment by moment. I'm afraid of making plans because I have a long history of sliding away from them if something goes wrong. I'm so scared of being hurt because I've been hurt so much. All the wounds are inflamed now, the least roughness causes terrible pain, like they get infected easily. It's so hard just to get back to my baseline after something happens these days.

 

What I want to do is come out of my isolation, finish the story I'm working on, find a solution I can live with to a weird social problem I'm having... I can't think beyond that at the moment. I like to write, I like to help others, and I like learning. But it all feels like it's for nothing because nobody cares. It's been that way since I was a child. What I did or didn't do made no difference to anyone. No one cared. No one was involved. I can't go on just for myself. And I don't know how to stop being alone. It feels like isolation and anonymity are like a solid glass bubble around me. Almost like I'm invisible. It's like I'm trying to break out, to be seen. But of course I don't want to be seen as some sort of loud or obnoxious nut, either. I don't know how to approach people, and I don't even know where to go. I stay at home most of the time, knowing it's getting me nowhere. But I honestly don't know where to go. I don't feel comfortable in typical social settings like bars or clubs. I'm not remotely gregarious. I'm shy, introspective, and socially awkward. I've tried meetups and such, but I've found that just rattles me. A few people have usually taken over the group, and they're usually not very nice. I'm mortified at the thought of sharing my writing to people like that. Either they just don't get it, they're too aggressive with wanting to "get published" to care about producing quality stuff, and they get envious of people who do. If they see that you see through them, they try to turn the whole group against you.

 

I'm sorry, I'm rattling on again. I'm trying not to freak out this morning. Something went wrong earlier, and I've been trying to regain my equilibrium. Sorry if this comes off as panicked.

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