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starrykitten

Mixed Episode Or Severe Anxiety Plus Depression?

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I am severely depressed right now. I am also anxious, which I'm used to, though this is really really extreme anxiety leaving me in perpetual freak-out. 

 

I am bipolar II.  I don't know if I've ever had a mixed episode, including this one, but I'm trying to suss out if that's what's happening here or if it's just severe depression with anxiety.  

 

Are there any things that would or would not be present with a mixed episode? 

 

How are mixed episodes treated anyway?

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Hi Starrykitten, I too am BP II and have been experiencing the same thing as you and wondering the same things as well. From what I've read the Anxiety part can be an added comor I'd feature to the rest

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Of the Illness. Can you tell me more about your experience and what meds your on, how long into this episode are you? The duration of your current treatment? I'm learning a lot as I go along too. Where you once previously diagnosed with just MDD and later got the BP 2 diagnosis? My hunch is we're going thru something very similar.

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Hi, Starry Kitten

 

Anxiety, depression and knowing you can go extreme at times is terrifying for anybody. Especially when we are unsure what or why your mood is acting this way. I would love to be able to tell you if you were in an episode or just very high anxiety. I recently had a manic episode, i thought if i describe that you might feel similar or different to compare on how you are :)

 

I'm on meds that are supposed to help my mania, they have not stamped me as bi-polar 2 but borderline personality, but i have the manic episodes. All my life i thought i was having a breakdown and becoming far to emotional, but since being brought in for it (when i was really all over the place) this was my first to have experienced and at the end know what just happened

 

Mine started as a good feeling, too joyous, it was like all my focus went on one thing, a girl, and one week iit was to know here more, another to show her loads of cool films, these may not sound to goal orientated, but nothing else in the world mattered. and i was beside myself in anticipation. but i could feel as i got torn up into my own emotional whirlwind the only way to describe how i felt is to say i felt ungrounded, i could tell i was not myself, and time was like depression where every minute seems hours but while racing inside my head and all over my body

 

When the girl pulled back I was left with all these goals i couldn't complete, the girl just took a break she said she was going to, but my mind becomes highly perceptive and mine usually become paranoid. I became obsessed to talk to her once more, but by then i was crying everyday, hoping, having panic attacks, and talking. episodes can make you really need to vent, go over and over or just talk. I talk a lot, but damn. 

 

Its basically that i let my nerves snowball, then anything that happened i wasn't expecting i would get dragged emotionally to that place. i could occasionally have my logical brain say this is not right, you need to calm down, this is not happening, but my logic would get sucked back under my emotional stress and panic. I just couldnt stop the episode, no matter how i often i saw what was REALLY going on. I got very angry, very hurt and the episode is linked to a lot of relationship issues i seem to still have.

 

and now its over. it was like a u-turn of thoughts, feelings. and now i have a few friends who say things like "i thought i knew you, but i guess i don't know you very well" and i am destroyed that in 3 weeks of a manic episode i have done so much damage to myself, my life and my friendships. Since I was.. out of my mind, and i'm such a calm person, i can only imagine their fear when i was shouting babble at them about problems that were just in my head. So i cannot say if its guilt, shame or the episode, but when this ended, and my memories to others, is you can overload your brain till it scrambles (a manic episode that lasted about 3/4 of a year) to just wipe you out. i feel emotionally bereft, very flat and easily depressed, it feels like i have been through a war, and i keep trying to sleep.

 

Hopefully this might be helpful, but each manic epsiode has been in response to something, so they play out differently, the only thing commmon betrween them is i cannot stop them and very much believe what my brain thinks. 

 

Hope you get better

 

- chris x

Edited by Used To Be Me

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Very helpful Chris, I'm concerned that what precipitated this most recent relapse into MD I was experiencing a hypomanic/maybe even manic reaction to world events. It's like once the ball got rolling I couldn't stop it and I became determined to uncover the sequence of events as they might possibly relate to eschatological matter (end time prophecy and such) I got myself so wound up that looking back I believe I was caught in the snare of a manic vortex that ultimately I couldn't handle on a cognitive and emotional level. (This is where the aging "ignorance is bliss" comes into play) after I extracted myself from all the angles of possibilities and current events I unraveled and fell so hard back in late July, were still trying to pull me out of this whole it's taking awhile.

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