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I Lost All My Friends Due To Anxiety & Depression..


ladysmurf

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I am all alone and I don’t know where to turn to anymore....

 

About 2 months ago I got in an argument with my friend. She told me I need to find the “reason why I get anxious and solve it”. She said there is no magic pill, and that since I’ve tried every SSRI that exists out there, nothing will help me, it means that it’s something that I need to solve myself. (Needless to say a 15 year old friendship since high school is over).

 

About a few days ago another friendship is over. My friend tells me that “Chemical imbalance is stupid” it does not make sense. Psychiatrists are idiots. You need to figure out what is causing your depression & anxiety, and figure out ways of dealing with it because it’s obvious since none of the medications you have taken have worked for you, and nothing will. It also means that it is something that will NOT be cured by a drug.

 

Needless to say that I have no friends anymore. Just some family members, because they told me that they got “sick, and tired of listening to me complain about my problems, and the way I felt”. 

 

With friends like these who needs enemies right?

 

Oh I should I add that both my mother and aunt have mentioned in the past that “Only weak people result to anti-depressants. It’s the weak people that can’t accept, or deal with reality, so they need extra help”.

 

Apparently, I am weak!! I love feeling sad, and hopeless. Not to mention anxious, to the point where I can't even remain calm that it makes me suicidal!! It is the best feeling in the world!! Let me tell ya!! I love not being able to have the desire to go out with friends, and being miserable & anxious around them..I guess we are all weak and can't accept reality!!

 

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Wow ... that really sucks. :(

 

*Hugs*

 

I don't really have anything valuable to say ... just that your friends don't sound like they were particularly helpful or understanding. You're right ... with friends like that, who needs enemies? At that point, you may actually be better off without them. :(

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Wow ... that really sucks. :(

 

*Hugs*

 

I don't really have anything valuable to say ... just that your friends don't sound like they were particularly helpful or understanding. You're right ... with friends like that, who needs enemies? At that point, you may actually be better off without them. :(

 

 

 

Yeah who needs enemies right?? I gave up on friends.......

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Ladysmurf:  

 

Join the club.  I completely understand because the same thing happened to me.  There is a stigma connected with Depression I think because the general population is not properly educated.  Also, if they have been depressed, they would probably get it.  Please know none of this is your fault.  You are suffering from something they don't get.  They are still perceiving you as the person you were before becoming depressed.

 

It hurts and is painful.  But sometimes disconnecting from these people, like I did, and finding new friends that do get it can give you a fresh start and a boost of confidence. 

 

The Forum has really helped me as I know it will you.  Also if you feel up to it, network a little. If you have a hobby, dive into it like writing or art as examples.  Also try not to wear the depression sign on your shoulder when meeting brand new people.  Looking at meeting people you never met and know nothing of your past, can make a big difference.

 

Sounds like you are not there yet.  But being angry and disappointed about your friends is a natural reaction to their just not getting you right now and being pretty rude.  Just know, in my opinion, this is all really not about you, but about their not getting the disease and trying to make you feel guilty.  Friends like that we all don't need. 

 

Glad you posted this!  Good luck.

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Hi ladysmurf, I am so sorry you are getting this ignorance from ppl who are close to you.  They really don't get it.  I hope they never have to suffer like this. 

I just wish you all the best and hope that you will find people who *do* get it and are supportive and understanding.  At least DF has good ppl like that. Sometimes I think it would be nice if we were a bit more irl. 

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Your moms and aunts statement I think is a generational thing. My mom says the same thing!

 

I remember the initial sting when my friends made hurtful comments and then left. I still haven't gotten over it and its been years. I know exactly how you feel. that lost feeling, the abandonment.

 

I totally feel for you. I wish I had a solution!

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I don't really think there is a solution besides like most of you said "to move on".

 

I don't need ignorant people like that in my life. I am thinking of joining a support group for depression and bipolar although I have anxiety as well. I wish I had the strength to do something like a hobby to clear my mind but I can't take stimulants because they make me more anxious so its okay. At least I go to work, and the rest of the day I spend reading or watching TV.

 

What hurts the most is the the statements my aunt, and mother made, that I am lazy and weak. It is one thing to be ignorant, and uneducated, but but I had a high school teacher who is like 75 now (way older than my family members) and she helped me get into counseling and into seeing a psychiatrist. But whatever, sh*t happens, and life is too short.

 

I don't want to talk to those people. In fact I don't want to associate with people anymore who will only bring me down. I spent like 2-3 hours crying non-stop yesterday. It was terrible.  :(

 

Oh well thanks for all those who replied. I guess this what a lesson for me to take my life into my own hands....and slowly learn not to care about what others say or think anymore.

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Same issue. My last friend was in 2004. Lost touch will almost all my family. They thought I was faking it to be lazy. So I hate everything about myself and can't stop self-loathing, even when I make a conscious effort to not do it. So I just stay alone all the time.

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Same issue. My last friend was in 2004. Lost touch will almost all my family. They thought I was faking it to be lazy. So I hate everything about myself and can't stop self-loathing, even when I make a conscious effort to not do it. So I just stay alone all the time.

 

I feel the same way...It's so sad...

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Same issue. My last friend was in 2004. Lost touch will almost all my family. They thought I was faking it to be lazy. So I hate everything about myself and can't stop self-loathing, even when I make a conscious effort to not do it. So I just stay alone all the time.

 

I feel the same way...It's so sad...

 

 

To be fair I couldn't stand having to bother with me either. But there's that self-loathing cycle again.

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I'm on the same boat Shawn and ladysmurf. Lost touch with all the few friends I had. Happened this year, when I reached the lowest point of my life so far. It gets really lonely. Worst thing is knowing they tried to keep in touch but I pushed them away. Too unmotivated to see them and too ashamed of my situation to talk to them about what I feel.

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Its amazing how ignorant people can be. don't they watch tv or read.how can they not understand things?

Sometimes they get you to tell them what's wrong and not to keep it bottled up and then they turn against you when you say what's on your mind. i always turn to myself before anyone else.

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I'm sorry for you. I don't bother telling my friends outright because they would voice similar things even though they're well meaning. They can see that I'm "down" though.

 

I struggle with anxiety and depression but it's much easier to talk about anxiety with everyone. Depression is still a stigma.

 

My parents are not antagonistic but they always say things like self-pity is a luxury I can't afford. Which is true, but I still can't help the way I feel. 

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I only ever had two good friends in my life, and one buddy from high school. The two good friends died. I lost touch with the high school buddy when I became disabled by the depression and anxiety. I didn't want to show him what I had become because I was ashamed, and we weren't close enough to talk about it anyway. That was 11 years ago. Zero friends in that time. I'm so introverted I can't even speak to people, and I'm so self-loathing online that I just push people away.

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Its amazing how ignorant people can be. don't they watch tv or read.how can they not understand things?

Sometimes they get you to tell them what's wrong and not to keep it bottled up and then they turn against you when you say what's on your mind. i always turn to myself before anyone else.

 

 

No most of the responses I get are "You are lazy, it's all in your head ..etc"

 

My manager is pretty understanding because his son has autism, and so he told me don't worry I can work around your schedule, and just let me know if you are having a bad day.

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I only ever had two good friends in my life, and one buddy from high school. The two good friends died. I lost touch with the high school buddy when I became disabled by the depression and anxiety. I didn't want to show him what I had become because I was ashamed, and we weren't close enough to talk about it anyway. That was 11 years ago. Zero friends in that time. I'm so introverted I can't even speak to people, and I'm so self-loathing online that I just push people away.

 

I am so sorry.

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Shawn81, you have no reason to be ashamed.if people are hostile towards you for having this tormenting illness, they should be ashamed.

 

I don't blame them. I get really annoying with my self-loathing. I wouldn't want to deal with it either. It's either that or pretend I'm fine. That never worked out for me either.

 

I only ever had two good friends in my life, and one buddy from high school. The two good friends died. I lost touch with the high school buddy when I became disabled by the depression and anxiety. I didn't want to show him what I had become because I was ashamed, and we weren't close enough to talk about it anyway. That was 11 years ago. Zero friends in that time. I'm so introverted I can't even speak to people, and I'm so self-loathing online that I just push people away.

 

I am so sorry.

 

Thanks.

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I learned there is only so much friends can take before they give up on you. Best to just keep your pain to yourself..

 

 

That is true...I should have kept things to myself...I was complaining a lot about how being treatment resistant stinks.....

Then again a true friend who really cared would have stuck around or at least gave me some advice on the fact that I am driving her nuts before just walking away......and to be honest I don't want to be around people who think there is no such thing as mental illness, and chemical imbalances are a Biotch of stupid excuses that psychiatrists have made up..but whatever......I don't want those type of people in my life either...so I guess it worked out, but thanks for your advice.......No one wants to be around someone who is miserable and constantly complaining. It's just hard when you've tried everything, and you can't hope for anything anymore... it really stinks..

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Just got a text from an old classmate. I cut off contact with my classmates like a year ago. I really like her, but don't know if I'll reply. Gosh, I really miss those friends - miss that time. It would be too awkward now, too uncomfortable. I make people uncomfortable. I doubt the others would want to see me again, anyways. I think back to those times with those friends and my heart hurts so much. It is my own fault. They are good people.

 

I have 2 friends now. And even those, I can tell I'm more and more a burden - someone they pity more than someone they are glad is around. It is an effort to be with them and I usually end up more depressed then before I hung out with them.

 

I wish I could say sorry and turn back time.

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You're not weak. You're you. I really wish there was a fix or a "solution" to the "problem" like a mathematical equation or something. The reality is that the anxiety and depression are feelings, they are a part of you just like other emotions. Emotions can be worked on and understood better but not solved like some theoretical entity. If it helps anything atleast there is someone here that understands exactly how you're feeling and can accept that, because you don't need to be anything else that you already are.

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You're not weak. You're you. I really wish there was a fix or a "solution" to the "problem" like a mathematical equation or something. The reality is that the anxiety and depression are feelings, they are a part of you just like other emotions. Emotions can be worked on and understood better but not solved like some theoretical entity. If it helps anything atleast there is someone here that understands exactly how you're feeling and can accept that, because you don't need to be anything else that you already are.

 

 

I wish there was a solution too my friend...but at this moment there is not... I go to therapy, and it helps somewhat, but this illness has not allowed me to live the life I want, and I am not sure if it will. I guess I should not complain because it could be worse, but it's hard not do.

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If you have skype, you can rebuild your friendship life with me(my contact is in my profile), even PM's is fine. Please bring your trash to my dumpster, I will take all of it and never leave no matter how funky it is.

Since(from experience) people have said I'm hard to approach, all I'm going to say is the door is open, you just have to walk through it.

Edited by Twilight Sky
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