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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2


freckledface

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I feel by myself. I feel as if my sadness is a burden to others and whatever I express about myself about gets downplayed / overshadowed no matter how serious the situation maybe.-Feeling very tired emotionally.  When I cry no one cares but someone else will get full support and a shoulder to cry on. ---- not from this site of course :)

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I feel good right now. I spent the first week of September in a mental health facility after attempting to drive my car off the road, down a hill and into a telephone pole. Fortunately, I missed the pole. I had my meds adjusted, went back to therapy and returned to work. I have discussed my issues with many close friends and family, which has lightened the burden so much. Being able to use this forum is so therapeutic. 

 

Glad you are still here and feeling better :flowers: This thread is really a lifeline, through the ups and downs of depression.

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Wow, desperados, I just looked that up in the Guardian--how horrible!! I didn't know that was where you were-the article was about everything going on in Ankara and all - thank you for the post, I just don't know what to say - sending my thoughts and best wishes!

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Oh thx mulberrypie and Mia42 it happened in the capital of Turkey near main train station. 

 

Here it's the video showing the attack time http://www.sondakika.com/haber/haber-ankara-da-patlama-alaninda-demir-bilyeler-cikti-7764412/

 

Bomb was a tnt based with steel balls in it to pierce through people and cause mass bleeding.

 

ankara-da-patlama-alaninda-demir-bilyele

 

Turkey is a bridge located in between Europe and Asia and a member of NATO but not european union.We are holding 2.5 millions of Syrian refugees in our borders and this was an ISIS attack.

Edited by desperados
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Oh today here in Turkey it was like hell,at least 86 people have been killed and up to 150 wounded in a terror attack from twin suicide bombers.

Awful news! I feel so helpless when I read about such events.

All I can do is keep you and yours, and the people of Turkey--I have friends from Izmir, their mom is still there. And I know it's far from Ankara, but it's jolt to the whole country.

 

Hugs for you, desperados. Prayers/positive energy to your nation.

Edited by Dolphin2013
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I had a lovely time at my grandson's birthday party. The kids seemed to have such a great time.

I have a week off work now and I'm so excited about that. My job is super stressful. In the last few weeks there was the incident where I found someone illegally restrained and that person was fired. Then there was a narcotic error that came up and some of the employees were obviously worried they couldn't pass a drug screen. That night was horrible. Then two nights ago a woman, who I really life, was under the influence of something, and I had to report that. I wish I didn't know that she's had her daughter pee for her before, but I do. Now she's been drug tested and insists she knows it will be fine, so I'm guessing she's done that again, which means I'll have to continue to work with her. I'm pretty sure she knows we all wrote statements about her condition and it will make for a tricky work situation. The thing is, either way she now knows I can't condone that behavior and as a supervisor, of sorts, I have to report suspicious behavior. I just don't like being seen as uncool. Having been where she's at makes it hard for me, too. Hopefully the situation will resolve itself by the time I get back to work. I really am kicking myself for this one. The woman just had her narcotic restrictions lifted. I know I'm not responsible for her behaviors but I still feel really bad.

Edited by renee2
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I'm behind in reading posts so I did a quick scan.

Desperados - oh no, no, (re what happened in Turkey), oh god, that's just indescribably terrible, so tragic. I'm so very sorry for the people of Turkey. My thoughts are with you guys also :'-(

((((((((((Purple))))))))))) re your son :'-( and everyone else that needs a hug (((((((((everyone)))))))))

Christina - it's brilliant that they've identified the EDS genetic disorder. Err not good that you have it oc (I'd love to hit my ducking genetic disorder with a brick also :) but that you have an explanation. And (best of all) you can stick that to any doctor that tries to tell you to just go meditate or something :)

Havehope - aw no, I read you were going. But (per B's post) you might be staying? I really hope you're staying, I understand if you need time out but you'd be hugely missed :-(

LOL Brian, re the buff-dude-in-bow-tie singing telegram (& now bowling buddy) for the 1000 post count haha. You're funny. That's so much better than the cookie I lied about awhile back :-D

I'm sorry I haven't been around much/much support lately guys. I've had a few really bad days. My demon stomach went on strike when I fed it sleeping pills & I had a couple of days of zero sleep & extreme/sanity-sapping agitation/anxiety, then spent the last couple of days blissfully passed out. I'm ok, I'm on these oh-so-wonderful stomach meds (((((stomach meds))))). xo

Edited by Els1e
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I don't know whether to laugh or cry or do both hysterically.  I woke up this morning to a loud buzzing which I thought was flies behind my blinds - no, no flies.......I have bees in my wall, they got in through my rotted windowsill!  I like bees, but not in my walls!  I honestly don't know how much more I can take before they cart me away to a padded cell..........(deep breaths)

 

((((((((Hugs))))))))) to everyone, and an extra hug for my special friends :)

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(((Hugs))) to everyone.

 

I'm feel like I"m taking up oxygen that could be useful for someone who is making a difference in the world, my body feels like I got hit by a truck. Not sure if this is related to starting Abilify or not. 

 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry or do both hysterically.  I woke up this morning to a loud buzzing which I thought was flies behind my blinds - no, no flies.......I have bees in my wall, they got in through my rotted windowsill!  I like bees, but not in my walls!  I honestly don't know how much more I can take before they cart me away to a padded cell..........(deep breaths)

 

((((((((Hugs))))))))) to everyone, and an extra hug for my special friends :)

 

Geesus, Purple. I am so sorry!!! It's time for you to have some good stuff happen. :hugs: Sending some strength, patience, and peace your way.

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it's been a less than meaningful day and to make things worse, I bought a sweet snack to munch on--just trail mix, but it's got lots of chocolate & sugar (I talked myself out of the bag of bridge mix! bridge mix is a depression food for me, it's this stuff my mom would have on hand when she had company.)

 

I think I know why I shut myself in my study most of the day. It's because my husband's brother is here and he was playing videos loud (he's in his upper 50's and I don't know why my spouse didn't offer him a set of earbuds or headphones. But even between and during videos, he's running commentary the whole time.

 

I felt--the way I often do with family--intruded on, vulnerable, molestable (my BIL has weird creepy stuff about him--that I know with my mind is his and his alone and he's not putting any of that on me or my husband, but still he always hints jokingly about it--and I want to be tolerant, no I want to be accepting, but I just distance myself, put on armor and chomp down angrily on stuff that goes crunch).

 

Food is my drug of choice, and I understand addiction and addictive behavior. And my BIL is an alcoholic. He's gone to detox twice. He thinks he can regulate his intake of alcohol because it helps him get to sleep, concentrate and do stuff. He is a grocery clerk. He monitors the self-checkout and bags groceries. I feel so sorry for him, and yet disgusted by him. And his brain has just broken down. He had schizophrenic episodes when he was in his early teens, maybe younger. And I'm p***** as hell that medication and treatment were a) not available or b) off the radar for his parents who did not want to deal with it. They thought that because he was bright, he'd grow out of it, when he didn't respond to one kind of treatment.

 

I know what a sick brain does. My sick brain is not sick the way his is, but I know how unfair it is that life handed us these brains that twist reality, or take it away altogether.

 

When he was sick (diagnosed with the beginning of liver disease) a year or so ago and had his first episode with detox, I hoped that he'd get so ill, he would die and we wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. 

 

Now you all know what a rotten person I am. 

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I don't know whether to laugh or cry or do both hysterically.  I woke up this morning to a loud buzzing which I thought was flies behind my blinds - no, no flies.......I have bees in my wall, they got in through my rotted windowsill!  I like bees, but not in my walls!  I honestly don't know how much more I can take before they cart me away to a padded cell..........(deep breaths)

 

((((((((Hugs))))))))) to everyone, and an extra hug for my special friends :)

Call an exterminator. The only other thing you can do is wait until dark and then, all covered up--and I mean it, all covered up, hit the affected areas with poison spray from a safe distance. But it's better to call an exterminator. I'm serious about this.

 

big hugs to you. You shouldn't have to deal with this. You're due a day, at least without trouble.

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I'm sorry I haven't been around much/much support lately guys. I've had a few really bad days. My demon stomach went on strike when I fed it sleeping pills & I had a couple of days of zero sleep & extreme/sanity-sapping agitation/anxiety, then spent the last couple of days blissfully passed out. I'm ok, I'm on these oh-so-wonderful stomach meds (((((stomach meds))))). xo

 

 

((((((((Els1e)))))))) - So sorry you've had a rough time, glad you're ok now, hope it lasts.

 

 

 

(((Hugs))) to everyone.

 

I'm feel like I"m taking up oxygen that could be useful for someone who is making a difference in the world, my body feels like I got hit by a truck. Not sure if this is related to starting Abilify or not. 

 

 

 

((((((((Freckled)))))))) - You deserve that oxygen, you've made a difference to my world and I'm sure others as well!

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(((Hugs))) to everyone.

 

I'm feel like I"m taking up oxygen that could be useful for someone who is making a difference in the world, my body feels like I got hit by a truck. Not sure if this is related to starting Abilify or not.

 

Looks like we are both having a bad time here in Depression World.

big hugs, ff. You need them for you, too.

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