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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2


freckledface

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((((((Brian)))))) :hugs: :hugs:

 

it's very sad and painful losing a friend. :(  I had to say goodbye to a long-time friend last summer & know the feeling. It's a loss that needs to be mourned... I hope tonight w/ your girlfriend goes better than expected.. perhaps it's this loss that's coloring your feelings or expectations? Not sure..

 

Either way, hugs!!! Hope for brighter days for you. Your friend stinks, in all honesty, and is being very selfish. I would be mad myself over it if that were me.. if a friend can't be happy for you because you're happy and found a girlfriend, then what kind of true friend is that?

 

I know that doesn't lessen the sadness any... it just takes some time to get past and you will in time. I still miss my friend from time to time, but then I remember the reason why we "broke up", and I don't mind as much because I want a different kind of friend than she was to me.

Edited by havehope
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Ok.. it is now Tue and I still have not heard back from my boss about my low morale at work. i sent that message on Friday. She's in Cambodia, but she's online today working. She was online working yesterday too.

 

If she cared at all, she would respond. I'm beginning to think she is the most cold-hearted, uncaring boss I have ever had. It reminds me of the movies Horrible Bosses and The Devil Wears Prada. Her text message to me on my day off saying, "fix this", without even asking if I was available & would I mind doing this on my day off just says it all. What kind of boss treats their employees this way? Someone who doesn't value them as people... I feel like I'm a work slave at the mercy of an ice queen. 

 

I'm going about business as usual, but I'm getting more and more disheartened. 

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I'm back at work after being away for six days.  I was really down last night, thinking about coming back to a monster pile of messages and work...and sure enough, that's what was here waiting for me this a.m. But yeah, I'm grateful for getting paid.

 

I just wish I didn't constantly feel as though I'm in over my head.

 

Mood-wise, I'm feeling pretty good. What's up with that? :smile:

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Ixeua Posted 16 July 2014 - 04:53 PM

Getting something off your chest is therapeutic. Similar to sites like muttr.com, this is a thread for expressing stuff you probably don't feel like expressing in a full thread. You might want to write something quickly or you can pour your heart out. It does not matter. Write how you feel right now or what is on your mind and just get it off your chest.

 

Here is the original posters comment from the original "How do you feel right now" thread. Here is the link to that thread.  http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/102997-the-how-do-you-feel-right-now-thread/

 

With over 12,000 posts We and Admin thought it might be a nice idea to start a fresh thread like DF always did in the past!

After 10 pages we will start a new thread.

 

So tell us, "How do you feel right now?" :hugs:

 

 

It's been a few months since I last logged on here. So this is where my thread went. :)

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HH,

I was just wondering why it is I expect people who lack integrity to treat me with respect.  It seems to be a lesson I keep having to learn over and over in my life.  It finally hit me today that it's such an unrealistic expectation of mine.  People who lack integrity don't respect themselves so why would they respect me?  I have been major chewed up about the favoritism shown this woman at work.  When I really looked at it I started to see that my real problem is I didn't stand up for myself in the beginning and I helped in the creating of this monster attitude she has.  Then I got resentful, with myself, for being angry about it.  I'm in a place now where I'm simply trying to do what I think is right and trying to trust the universe that things will work out.  I swear this girl has so many tricks up her sleeve that it's impossible to keep up with.  I'm not trying to spend too much time figuring out her next move.  I know she's got one.  I like remembering that I cannot control someone's actions but I can control my reaction. 

 

It sucks.  I know.

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((((((Brian)))))) :hugs: :hugs:

 

it's very sad and painful losing a friend. :(  I had to say goodbye to a long-time friend last summer & know the feeling. It's a loss that needs to be mourned... I hope tonight w/ your girlfriend goes better than expected.. perhaps it's this loss that's coloring your feelings or expectations? Not sure..

 

Either way, hugs!!! Hope for brighter days for you. Your friend stinks, in all honesty, and is being very selfish. I would be mad myself over it if that were me.. if a friend can't be happy for you because you're happy and found a girlfriend, then what kind of true friend is that?

 

I know that doesn't lessen the sadness any... it just takes some time to get past and you will in time. I still miss my friend from time to time, but then I remember the reason why we "broke up", and I don't mind as much because I want a different kind of friend than she was to me.

 

Yes, Monica.  It is the loss of my last girlfriend 2 years ago and loss of this friend that is severely eroding my trust in people.  I know it's irrational.  I am going to try to have a nice night with my girl.

 

And thank you - I needed that message hh - hugs back!!!!

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Brian --- yes, losses can make us feel like when's the next one coming? But I'm glad you're going to try to have a nice night. I'm sure you will! You seem to really really like this woman! So go have yourself a great eve --- you deserve it!  And thanks for the hugs! :)

 

Renee --- that's a really good point!!!! I hadn't thought about it from that perspective before. But you're so right --- my boss lacks integrity too and is highly unprofessional. Why should I expect her to treat me with the same amount of integrity that I show or professionalism for that matter?

 

I'm glad you see everything from another perspective... I, too, realize that I have contributed to the problem by not standing up to my tyrant of a boss as much as I should. Yet I did recently more loudly, and what does she do? Ignores my message. Which of course, is unprofessional. Any boss who is truly professional about work matters would have responded back with yes, I understand you have some concerns, let's talk when I get back.

 

GR. It does suck.. I feel for you with this sneaky co-worker of yours. She really is manipulative and highly self-serving. But you're right.. if you don't take care of you & look out for yourself, who else will? We can't expect people to be fair or honest in work situations... many are not unfortunately, and many are just that.. self-serving.

 

And thanks for your message.. it helps!

Edited by havehope
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I haven't been here in a while and wanted to check in.

I am really sorry I can't read every post I've missed, but I've been thinking about everyone here.

Today, I woke up feeling super depressed. Depressed like "why do I even bother waking up" depressed.

I made myself go to my exercise class (I paid in advance for it, so I'd better go, right?) and that helped. Then having coffee & catching up with a friend.was good. Now I'm hungry but maybe need to do a bit of grocery shopping first.

Not sure. Maybe someone else can go to the store to pick up sweet potatoes.

I don't know why I felt so depressed this morning. Lack of sleep, probably. It was such an old, familiar feeling, too. I felt like I could have swaddled myself in it and done nothing all day.

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I just turned in a final paper that I whipped up in ~3 hours, and had my last session of a class. I've written a paper in 1 1/2 hours before, last fall, and I thought it was terrible, but the prof practically raved about it and gave me an A. When I read it again, I realized it was quite good, though I didn't even know what to say when I started writing.

 

I hope to God that happens again this time. I'm trying to see this as funny. Laughter helps, right? :Coopwink:

 

Only one more day of classes tomorrow, two courses with a final exam in one. I have tonight and tomorrow morning to study for it. The rest of my finals are next week. Tonight, I just have to finish another grad school app and then study...a rare break. Well, not break, but a slow-down, at least. More of a slow-down after classes tomorrow, while I need to turn in more apps.

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In the process of being dumped by a good friend.  She is jealous that I am seeing someone, I think.  Says she doesn't want to be second fiddle.

I am so sorry to hear this, Brian. She doesn't want to be second fiddle, but she did not want to be your girlfriend. Makes me angry on your behalf! Was she maybe just playing real hard to get? I hate games.

It's hard to let go and I know this was a long and supportive friendship for you.

:hugs:

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I have a migraine today, I think I get them from stress.  I'm arguing with myself if I want to take something for it.

I hate migraines. If you can tolerate taking something, why stay in pain? I usually can't put anything in my mouth and suffer most of the day. I hope it goes away soon!

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Trying to live in a nice little break between the deadlines that have been ruling my life lately. Even though I have to go to sleep very soon. :p Nice mood, though I feel so tired. Diet might need a little more tweaking, or at least, I have to find the time to cook some meat because nuts and cheese aren't enough of the kind of filling protein my body needs.

 

I submitted another grad school application, though, and I'm mighty pleased about that. :)

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I'm drunk but still can't feel that joyful experience :P meds are working very sloooooowly but at least so far they destroyed the anxiety and hopelessness feeling.

Me too!  I know we are not supposed to drink alcohol with our meds.  But I look forward to my cocktails or alcohol, because they take the edge off and I can't really concentrate on all my problems.  It's a quick fix for me, ,not necessarily for others.  Whatever works is my slogan.  

Edited by highanxiety
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I'm drunk but still can't feel that joyful experience :P meds are working very sloooooowly but at least so far they destroyed the anxiety and hopelessness feeling.

Me too!  I know we are not supposed to drink alcohol with our meds.  But I look forward to my cocktails or alcohol, because they take the edge off and I can't really concentrate on all my problems.  It's a quick fix for me, ,not necessarily for others.  Whatever works

 

Whoa, yeah, I'd definitely caution against drinking on meds, or even too soon after withdrawing from them. I did that, and while I loved it for a while, it wreaked absolute havoc in terms of panic and much worse depression down the line. Mental and emotional hell. It may "work" in the short run, but not the long. Kinda like drugs.

 

Sorry to chime in with something unpleasant, but I feel like that's so dangerous, I couldn't let it go.

 

Best wishes to both of you.

frozen

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((((((Brian)))))) :hugs: :hugs:

 

it's very sad and painful losing a friend. :(  I had to say goodbye to a long-time friend last summer & know the feeling. It's a loss that needs to be mourned... I hope tonight w/ your girlfriend goes better than expected.. perhaps it's this loss that's coloring your feelings or expectations? Not sure..

 

Either way, hugs!!! Hope for brighter days for you. Your friend stinks, in all honesty, and is being very selfish. I would be mad myself over it if that were me.. if a friend can't be happy for you because you're happy and found a girlfriend, then what kind of true friend is that?

 

I know that doesn't lessen the sadness any... it just takes some time to get past and you will in time. I still miss my friend from time to time, but then I remember the reason why we "broke up", and I don't mind as much because I want a different kind of friend than she was to me.

 

Yes, Monica.  It is the loss of my last girlfriend 2 years ago and loss of this friend that is severely eroding my trust in people.  I know it's irrational.  I am going to try to have a nice night with my girl.

 

And thank you - I needed that message hh - hugs back!!!!

 

Brian sorry to hear you are going  a tough time.  A big hug for you buddy. :hugs:

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I am full of rage because of the verbal abuse I received at work. I am on disability for the past 18 months but I am reliving the hell over and over again.  I am using CBT and  Thought Records but it is not helping me  probably because the situations were real not imaginary.  Anyone has any advice? Thanks.

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