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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2


freckledface

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Just got back from my family Thanksgiving dinner.. oh boy. I am sooo not like my other family members. They're so intellectual... I do not fit in at all and stand out like a sore thumb. After a while, I just stopped contributing to the conversations because I couldn't even contribute.. maybe a lighthearted joke or comment here or there, but I couldn't relate to much of what they were talking about. So I just sat there and listened. It made me feel very alone. My mom guilted me into joining them too, and now I kind of regret it and wish that I had gone with friends instead.  :verysad3:

 

I always feel the same at family gatherings--I've never really fit in. I'm not into gossip or mild racism, so I pretty much just keep my mouth shut. 

 

Anyway, I survived another one. Decompressing with the MST3K Turkey Day marathon and some ice cream. Things could be worse.

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back from my dysfunctional family I should have not gone aand just woke and gotten wasted in the morning I would have been much much happier,my brother actually throught something at me across the dinner tab;e my mother was screaming and cry about how no one gets along me and my ister were getting along and we were watching its allwasy sunny in phildelphia,then my brother said he hates it so I have to turn it my father camein and kept talking aboout how the bible saysobma is going to start a nuclear war and we all have to repent then my brother and dad started screaming at each then I started laughing and I said this is so ridculus its like a awful sitcom and he through a water bottle across the table at me,everyone left and my father kept talking about how its the end of the world and obama going to nuke everything,i left after that but atleast the food was good.

 

I think there's more holiday family dinners that are like that than there are the type depicted on TV commercials with everyone sitting around with glowing eyes, pride and fond smiles, and no irritable looks or snarky comments.  

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Hello everyone. I hope everyone has had a nice thanksgiving, or has been able to make the best of it. I spent the day with my sweetie and his family and I had a very nice time. He is going to hang out with his friends tonight since they're all back for the holiday, so I'm going to stay home. I just ordered a pizza from one of the few places that were open. I feel a little bad ordering takeout while the employees could be out spending time with their families, but I want to give a good tip to hopefully make their night a little better. Thought about going black friday shopping tomorrow but decided against it. Hugs to everyone!

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Hugs to all who are feeling lonely or had to endure difficult moments with family.

I'm not eating healthy or exercising. Need a swift kick in the arse.

 

Hey Follena - Kiiiiiicccckk!  Let me know if that works.  I need one too btw.  Just saying. Although, I have been a little better this week, off work, so more time and control.

 

I am feeling grateful, weirdly, that I did not have a Thanksgiving today LOL.  With all that family garbage.  Congrats to all of you who have endured it!

 

hh - you seem very intellectual to me, Monica!  You might be selling yourself short.  Or, you're just not into what they are into.  If the latter is the case, who cares? Finding our thing is all that matters! (btw: Who are these people in your family anyways? Charles Taylor, Steven Hawking, Neil Degrasse Tyson, and Noah Chomsky? - WOW!!!)

 

Cheers

 

Brian

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I had a nice Thanksgiving with my family.Though it makes me feel a little lonely.I see my sisters with their families and I feel a little left behind.They never make me feel that way it`s just me.I just wonder what`s wrong with me.Why am I alone?Then I answer myself too.It`s your fault you never tried.I just never felt good enough for anybody and was scared of being hurt and rejected.Yeah It`s all my fault.

 

Hugs to all that had a hard time today.I know the coming days can be difficult.Still I`m grateful for all that I do  have.I know that there are people out there who have it worse than I do.I wish all of you here at the DF a good night.

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Spent Thanksgiving by myself, but was ok with it as I wasn't up going to a family or friend's house.  Holidays don't hold much significance to me since I lost my Dad a few years ago.  We did everything together.  My mom passed in 1999, and she was awesome and always made the holidays so special while growing up. I miss them both.  My older sister and I don't speak, and this has been for a few years.  Long story.

 

Sometimes spend it with friends but today needed alone time.  And I don't feel guilty or weird about it at all.  For me it is better this way.

 

Hope everyone else made the best of their Thanksgiving and hopefully had a happy one.

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Spent Thanksgiving by myself, but was ok with it as I wasn't up going to a family or friend's house.  Holidays don't hold much significance to me since I lost my Dad a few years ago.  We did everything together.  My mom passed in 1999, and she was awesome and always made the holidays so special while growing up. I miss them both.  My older sister and I don't speak, and this has been for a few years.  Long story.

 

Sometimes spend it with friends but today needed alone time.  And I don't feel guilty or weird about it at all.  For me it is better this way.

 

Hope everyone else made the best of their Thanksgiving and hopefully had a happy one.

I think that's a very healthy attitude.  Good for you!

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With every passing day, life scares me more and more. It's all going to blow up in my face. I can't avoid the inevitable. (Not a self-harm message, just me feeling overwhelmed.)

Oh Butter - it's crappy you feel overwhelmed. I'm sorry if I've missed this in a previous post, but is anxiety an issue for you and if so, do you think meds might be worth a try? Or cognitive therapy to practice talking back to the thoughts?
Thanks for the compassionate response. Really appreciate it.

Depression's always been the bigger issue for me, depression's my diagnosis, but only recently has anxiety come into the picture (and nearly came to a head two weeks ago). I could do with CBT, in all honesty, and see where everything goes from there. As bad as my anxiety can be, it's nowhere near as bad as my depression has gotten (which is probably why I was initially put on such a high dose of medication).

Thanks again, lovely. :)

Edited by buttermybiscuit
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Hey Follena - Kiiiiiicccckk!  Let me know if that works.  I need one too btw.  Just saying. Although, I have been a little better this week, off work, so more time and control.

Brian

  

Thanks for the kick lol. Seriously, I gotta get back to low carb and jogging if not for vanity's sake, at least to improve my mood. Today's a new day so I'm going to try. I hear you - more time does help with eating habits. By the way, I'm so glad you took that time off for yourself.

Thanks for the compassionate response. Really appreciate it. Depression's always been the bigger issue for me, depression's my diagnosis, but only recently has anxiety come into the picture (and nearly came to a head two weeks ago). I could do with CBT, in all honesty, and see where everything goes from there. As bad as my anxiety can be, it's nowhere near as bad as my depression has gotten (which is probably why I was initially put on such a high dose of medication).

Thanks again, lovely. :)

Same here, depression's been my main problem too, but I've noticed more anxiety as I get older. Awww, well I hope things continue to improve for you from two weeks ago. xoxo

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Thanks, Brian :) I suppose I am a little intellectual, but nothing like my family. They're not famous, lol, but they're all just very well educated and well read and way out of my league --- I don't read, and I watch movies all the time and then maybe CNN once in a while. I am who I am though.

 

So I woke up at the same time I would for work today, and started thinking about work!!! On my day off! GRRRR.... I think I am really worried that my boss will ignore my input, the new website's rankings and traffic will tank, and that I'll get blamed. Not only that, but that I'll look bad to future employers.

 

It is imperative that I get her to listen to me... even if I have to strap her down and say listen you!!! lol.

 

And naturally, she hasn't responded to my question about paying for a certification course for me... naturally, since she rarely responds.

 

And not one single person from work wished me a happy Thanksgiving on Wednesday. I bet on Christmas it will be the same... scrooges!! I am in the worst work environment ever. :verysad3:

 

I think today I will spend looking at other jobs.

 

Hugs and love to all! :hugs::icon12:

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sooo i woke up this morning and i am happy!! what you dont knoww... is have been sleeping on a pile of blankets since i moved home... but now!! i have a bed!!! my mom found a fold away bed frame with out the mattress... so i threw my blankets on it and OMG it is 1000 times better!!!

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I woke shivering, too early. I'm trying to fight off another possible onset of illness. I'll have to cook some meat today to strengthen me, which worked the last couple of times. The insulation in my room is really terrible compared to the rest of the house. The landlord denied it, but everyone notices. It's nice and warm out here in the living room, but I'm still leaving the heat cranked up, even higher in hopes of curing me. I'm going to rest as much as possible and get a lot of protein, but I do have to go out when it gets warmer because I've run out of veggies. This fall is unusually cold here. I hope winter's not worse, though I know I need to get used to it since I'm moving in the summer. :)

 

And speaking of which, I finally finished my statement of purpose! "Finished" in a general sense, of course; I know I'll need to tweak it for each school, but NYU's is pretty much finished unless I do any more editing. Though I don't have time - I need to work on fee waivers for the other schools now, and finish applications...and do my French and lit homework...and somehow do another paper that's due Wednesday... I'll be so glad when the semester finally ends. One more week of classes. How am I going to find work in time to start before the break ends, when I finally have time to begin a job search?

 

sigh...

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Yep, of course!!

 

So my boss texts me today while I'm at lunch with my dad, on my day off, to fix an emergency problem that was incorrectly done by someone else.  And you know what she said? She didn't even ask if I was available... she just said "get this fixed" --- real nice, right? As though she just expects that I am available on my day off.

 

So I wrote her on Skype and said there needs to be a backup plan for company holidays in case I am unavailable -- and told her that I won't be available on Christmas eve or Christmas day for any emergencies like this.

 

Her attitude astounds me. Her approach and level of company mismanagement astound me. I am so ticked off. And of course, more work issues just had to seep into my time off. :ranting:

Edited by havehope
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Took a shower for the first time in all of November. Bathroom and shower was infested with fleas and I didn't want to deal with it. Still is, but whatever. The whole house is infested with every bug on the planet. Stuck with it, in my bed and everything. Learned to not care and embrace the inhumanity. Feel less dead after taking the shower but really anxious right now. Leaving the house for the first time in months to visit my mother and hang out with her and her new husband who just got out of prison. I've had 0 contact with him and we've never met, but I've had dreams about him taking her life and a bad feeling to suit. The last husband actually tried, and that wasn't surprising either. She scares me with her carelessness. Didn't want to do anything or go anywhere for the rest of my life but I feel guilty saying no to people. She just invites me to minimize her own guilt and to meet the 10 times a year quota for 'my son still exists.' I'd prefer it if she just forgot about me altogether so I never have to leave the house again. Haven't slept more than 4 hours on a day this month so I'm also extremely tired. Whatever. Wish I knew how to block out everything and turn myself into a complete robot.

 

Didn't have to celebrate Thanksgiving last night, thankfully.

Edited by mywarmblood
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Today I woke up feeling well and happy despite the freezing rain.

Yesterday we had dinner with friends, best evening in a long while. They have a new kitten and he's very playful.

I was ready to feel down because my cat is old and getting to the point where everything we do for him just prolongs the inevitable. He'll get better for a while, then worse. So I will talk to the vet next week.

I'm pretty sleepy today. I don't do Black Friday sales. Tried it once. Never again.

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Well, my biotch of a boss didn't even thank me today for coming in on an emergency on my day off. Unbelievable & of course! All I got was "fix this" & not a single "thank you". What an F'n biotch.

 

Can't wait to quit. My animosity towards this lady is off the charts.

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Well, my biotch of a boss didn't even thank me today for coming in on an emergency on my day off. Unbelievable & of course! All I got was "fix this" & not a single "thank you". What an F'n biotch.

 

Can't wait to quit. My animosity towards this lady is off the charts.

She sounds like a piece of work and needs to be b*tched slapped. Did you follow up with the interview you had?

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Well, my biotch of a boss didn't even thank me today for coming in on an emergency on my day off. Unbelievable & of course! All I got was "fix this" & not a single "thank you". What an F'n biotch.

 

Can't wait to quit. My animosity towards this lady is off the charts.

She sounds like a piece of work and needs to be b*tched slapped. Did you follow up with the interview you had?

 

OMG.. you can say that twice!!! That interview kind of went nowhere unfortunately, and is prob. not the best fit.. she said they would follow up with another conversation, but I don't think they can give me the position I want... Ugh.

I am so boiling mad right now.. my boss has basically ruined my day off at least mentally because now I'm just completely ticked off about what a total A-hole she is.

Oh, and talking to my mom about it didn't help at all! She was like OK she's an A-hole, accept it and move on. She just doesn't understand.

Edited by havehope
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