Skylark1 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I'm doing OK, though I know on the surface I may look a mess to those around me. Dishes overflowing, roommate somehow telling me to do my part as if not registering that she's never ONCE done her part in the bathroom in the 3 months + since she moved in, and I always seem to be eating on the run, in class or wherever, which people seem to look down on as if I don't have my **** together. I'm incredibly short on time. But I got my two papers in on time, and now I only have one more paper (this week) due Tuesday, and the online portion of my French homework due tomorrow by midnight. But the GRE is Monday (!), so my primary job right now is just to study, study, study. I'm glad I have the house to myself for the weekend. I'm glad I've been told that I don't need to worry about the math portion because they won't care about that. I have a lot to get through. I'm trying to still stay connected, because I know that helped so much. I'm trying to keep in mind that adcoms don't care as much about GRE scores as the rest of your application, especially the writing, letters of recommendation, etc. I'm having another brain fog issue, since breakfast, which I think is a blood sugar thing. Too many carbs. I need to get that straightened out. I'm going to make myself a healthy meal in between today. The setup for prep is nice, it actually works well. I'm going to just focus on that and forget about everything else until the test is done. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NC86 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Sick, sat on the toilet for the last two hours. All I can feel is anger and hatred towards those ****ing doctors. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jesslynn111 Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Frozen, good luck with the GRE!! I'm sure you'll do great, just make sure to get a good night's sleep and wear something comfortable and warm. :) I'm feeling pretty good this morning, just watching the snow fall while staying cozy inside. Looks like it's going to be a lazy weekend hiding from the cold, but I don't mind. :) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realreason Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Mainly feel alone, cold and dizzy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SongsOfIceNFire Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 So incredibly fed up of being rejected by everyone. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realreason Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Now I just hate my incapabilities of being a friend which leave me isolated with no distraction or comfort - it feels like a crushing weight. I don't really feel like being alive - the thought of going to college disgusts me 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Unwanted Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty". - Ghandi But there's more than just a few drops. I can't find a way out of this sewage waste. "A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his oppurtunities and an optimist is one who makes oppurtunities of his difficulties". - Harry S. Truman As much as I want to make diamonds from the under the pressure and to make the most out of what I was given, the problem is that I'm outnumbered in these psychologically taxing obstacles. If I can't win at the end of the day, my optimism naturally goes out the window with all hope I had at putting an end to these bad situations. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin2013 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Besides being cold, fairly decent. Applied for a couple of jobs, took an assessment for another, did the grocery shopping, and got gas for $1.89 all before noon. I'd say I'm allowed to slack off the rest of the day now. LOL I hope everyone enjoys their weekend the best they can. Yay! A FF sighting :) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin2013 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 As for me, I am feeling a little down. My husband is about to watch some tv and I may join him.I really want cookies or pie, but it's getting late and it's cold outside. Maybe make a hot chocolate? No. I don't want that much milk. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn81 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 I hate everything. I apparently have no more interests that I still enjoy. I'm tired of being alone all the time. I don't want to go to work anymore. I want to just go back to bed for another 10 years and maybe something will happen. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyss Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 As for me, I am feeling a little down. My husband is about to watch some tv and I may join him.I really want cookies or pie, but it's getting late and it's cold outside.Maybe make a hot chocolate? No. I don't want that much milk.ill make some cookies have no clue how your gonna get them tho? maybe a teleporter!!! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highanxiety Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 im in an ok mood... kind of wish i had someone to share my time with (be it may friends or a partner) but what can you doSorry your dad bailed on your plans. He sounds kind of like mine. I grew up with an absent father. Always on business trips, never any real one on one father son type stuff. He traveled a lot for business, so my mom and I became really close because she was there for me and me for her I guess. With all the other dynamics put aside concerning my dad and me, it was when he had a stroke I knew he needed me. I had been living in Hawaii for nine years but immediately moved back to the mainland to be with him. We had five years to really know and love each other before he passed. Not only did I hear him finally tell me he loved me for the first time, but we honestly became best friends. Watching sports, going out, on the phone. God, I miss him. My point is, don't carry too much of a grudge against your dad. I hope you have the same beautiful experience I had with mine which I thought would never happen. It was the best closure I could ever have asked for. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyss Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 My point is, don't carry too much of a grudge against your dad. I hope you have the same beautiful experience I had with mine which I thought would never happen. It was the best closure I could ever have asked for. i dont hold it against my dad ... he works 6 days a week.. so its kind of expected from time to time :P there is always going to be another day and heck worse comes to worse we where our kilts on st patricks day and celebrate my birthday the irish way! drunk hungover and cant remember what happened! lmao 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highanxiety Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Scared to death! My best friend, my rock, is having serious health problems. We all don't know if he is going to make it. He lives in California and I live in Washington State. The distance makes it hard. But I try to do what I can from here to help. Obviously will fly down if needed, although I am not in the best physical shape either. Got off the phone with him tonight. He said he feels like a loser because he has been so sick. And I replied I thought he was a winner and how proud I am of him being able to overcome these physical obstacles which have been more than anyone should endure. Told him I am proud of him, and admire his strength and will to live. I don't think I have even a third of what he has. I've talked about this before in the forum many times. I must admit, after I hang up with him I fall into tears. I try to be his rock but it carries consequences like making my depression worse and very sad. I know I need to take care of myself first, but can't let this situation loose. Need to give him all the support I can muster.[Being strong mentally or physically are both not my strong points right now. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyss Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 My point is, don't carry too much of a grudge against your dad. I hope you have the same beautiful experience I had with mine which I thought would never happen. It was the best closure I could ever have asked for. im glad you and your dad where able to make up in the end... im sorry you lost your best friend.. i am sure he is with you guiding your hands and feet to where you need to be in life :) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Mozzer Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 I`m feeling pretty tired tonight.It was a pretty busy day today. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttermybiscuit Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Been distracted so much I've forgotten about this site, many other things...Insomnia's been the main issue with me lately. I keep reading about all the bad things in the world, I don't know why.Not much else, just trying to get by, keep a minimal presence. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waffles Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Something very weird happened today and now I get the feeling that I am being followed... Feeling rather paranoid... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sairyss Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 sooo exhausted... insomnia kicked in last night.. didnt get to bed till 330 400 and it is 811 in the morning... UGH 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaniro Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Tired of being tired. Always tired. Never awake. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin2013 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Scared to death! My best friend, my rock, is having serious health problems. We all don't know if he is going to make it. He lives in California and I live in Washington State. The distance makes it hard. But I try to do what I can from here to help. Obviously will fly down if needed, although I am not in the best physical shape either. Got off the phone with him tonight. He said he feels like a loser because he has been so sick. And I replied I thought he was a winner and how proud I am of him being able to overcome these physical obstacles which have been more than anyone should endure. Told him I am proud of him, and admire his strength and will to live. I don't think I have even a third of what he has. I've talked about this before in the forum many times. I must admit, after I hang up with him I fall into tears. I try to be his rock but it carries consequences like making my depression worse and very sad. I know I need to take care of myself first, but can't let this situation loose. Need to give him all the support I can muster.[Being strong mentally or physically are both not my strong points right now.highanxiety,Your being there to offer him love and comfort and support are a gift and a strength you have. No one could blame you for feeling sad when you get off the phone with him. I'm glad you can come here and lean on us for a while. Please know that even though I don't know you beyond what you share here, I am sorry for your grief and pain. Offering what comfort I can through cyberspace... 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jesslynn111 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Well, it's 23 degrees outside right now, I'm seriously considering hibernation as a viable option right about now, as I know this is just the beginning. Who is going to go get my groceries? lol. Ugh. I will have to work up the energy to go out in this weather. Maybe I'll buy some nice hot cocoa to bring home...I hope it's better weather by you all for now. Such is life in the Windy City. At least my happy light seems to be helping with my mood, so that's good. If any of you have seasonal depression, I'd highly recommend it. :) 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skylark1 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Woke up this morning feeling awful. Feelings left over from nightmares. Plus, I woke up at 3AM, not sure even why. It was too hot because the heater was set too high for the weather outside, but I don't think that's what woke me. And the nightmares came later, when I finally fell back asleep ~6:00. Woke up again at 8:12. And that was it, so roughly 5 hours of broken sleep. I was worried and dismayed, because I'm in the middle of prepping for the GRE still, which I take tomorrow. At least I'll have 6-7 hours to prep some more tomorrow before I have to go down there. I'm trying to stay afloat. I had a couple of getting down on me yesterday, one of whom was just unbelievably rude even knowing that I was so stressed and under so much pressure with academic stuff. The other, my roommate, knows even about my health issues. But then she's ~20, so I'm trying to keep that in perspective. Now I'm about to go into a situation where I expect more people to thumb their noses at me, but I'm determined to stay positive and to keep moving in the direction of healing and growth. I know I can do this. I was worried about self-sabotage last night, that I won't let myself do well on the test. I have deep-seated issues with self-forgiveness and acceptance that I still need to work through, but I know I'm doing better than ever before in that regard. And I'm determined to push through and do whatever it takes to rise above all this, and to make it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nissala Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 A little tired from not sleeping last night, I think I cat napped all night..just couldn't go fully to sleep for some odd reason...maybe tonight I will. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twilight Sky Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Just a little tired. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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