Jump to content

The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2


freckledface

Recommended Posts

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again. 

 

Welcome, queenofepic.  I am sorry your a feeling this way.  You have come to a good place.  Lots of great people here who understand!!!  Congrats on emptying that box. When you are feeling like you are feeling, little steps are big ones.  I would encourage you to try to take a little/big step everyday.  Hugs!!!

 

watalife - Hugs to you!!!  All I can say is I know the feeling.  It will get better!

 

As for me, I got inexplicably tired around dinner and had a nap.  Now my sleep tonight will likely be messed up. Day 2 off work.  Feeling guilty and unworthy as usual.  Afraid that even if they move me to another job away from my toxic boss, I might not be able to get my motivation back.  I guess what I'm saying is, maybe it is more than my boss? I am pretty sure it is him, but I also can't even imagine having energy and doing a good job there again. My spirit feels broken.  Confused.

 

Cheers, all

 

Brian

Edited by salparadise6132
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again. 

hiya! and welcome!!! YAY NEW JOURNEY!!!

 

if you can get your hands on a smudge stick made of sage that may REALLY help with the negative feelings you have while your in the apartment...

sage is used by the native americans to purify the air and the rooms you burn it in ^_^

i know how it feels to be overwhelmed with everything all at once... like sal said... take a small step at a time... take a year to unpack lol who is it gonna bother?

emptying a box a day will keep the overwhelmingness away ^_^

btw... LOVE the Naruto photo!

Edited by sairyss
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again.

Hi Queen - I also want to welcome you and encourage you to be patient with yourself (and the unpacked boxes). Sometimes if we handke things in small steps it won't feel so bad. Unpack one box per week? Clean one room per week sorta thing. I hope you find another job that's a good fit for you. It's important to feel support whether it's friends, family or workmates. A move is exciting but also stressful so be as kind to yourself as you can. Hugs!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am going to go to a networking coffee tomorrow morning. Nervous about that. I don't have business cards yet, but I'm working on it.

I did a lot of work on my website. I think I have to start from scratch with some stuff. Yeccch.

A lot of writing today.

I realize I owe nearly 5 thousand dollars to my credit card for taking these courses. Haven't told my spouse, but I'm paying off that card little by little.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good news wise, joined a new gym, seems cool, nice instructors
Bad news wise, this week finally played a bunch of video games and felt bored instead of enjoying them... after a while just wanted to wallow in the sad obessive thoughts and fantasies inside my head.
Tonight been crying for an hour, want to keep crying but have a headache now. Cant tell family why.
Neutral wise, efexor XR up to 75mg now but too soon to feel changes I guess
having to up the clonazepam dosage too to get the same effect of before :/

Want to work on my artwork, get things done, but dont feel motivated... should forget all excuses and just do it, but can't. Everything seems so complicated to do, even cleaning out my desk.

Edited by random alice
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kind of worried about my appointment yesterday with my kidney doctor. I have stage three Chronic Kidney Disease, so I need to be constantly monitored with all sorts of tests to help me not progress into Stage 4, or Stage 5 which is basically Dialysis.  The kidney functions remain stable for being in stage 3 which was a relief.

 

 I also have a history of kidney stones and had to have two surgeries back to back about three years back.  I'm monitored every six months for stones as well, and the news wasn't so great from some of the tests taken.  It is really hard to keep up with the diet required to keep your kidneys strong, and avoid kidney stones.  Also taking the medication.  I admit I will do anything to avoid stones and have been.  But being depressed I some times give in to foods or forget to take my meds.  Probably a lot of patients do.

 

Feel like my body is falling a part.  Just wish my mind would allow me to enjoy the months or years I have left.  

 

Hoping for a better and more uplifting day tomorrow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again.

Welcome queenofepic. I find moving to be terribly draining. It's like an expectation that getting to the place we're going will automatically make us feel better because we've been immersed in all of the planning, but we get there and realize there's a lot more work to be done. Ha. Celebrate the fact that you got all of your stuff moved and a box put away and now you can just take your sweet time and rest up a bit. I promise the stuff won't go away.

I once told my therapist, when I was thirty-eight years old, that I felt I had lived several lifetimes. Instead of the usual you're too young to feel that way comment, she just said well, maybe you have. I still love her for that comment. Not that I really know if I believe in the many lives theory, but she validated my exhaustion and just let me know it was okay to feel what I was feeling. I was tired and rightfully so. I had been through a lot at that time and was reluctant to acknowledge that. I guess I felt like I had to keep pushing really hard to straighten things out. I've since come to realize that there isn't really much of life that needs straightening out. I believe that as long as I'm living there will always be new challenges. Looking at it this way gives me relieve from the hurry up syndrome. Well, sometimes that works.

Hugs to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again. 

 

Welcome, queenofepic.  I am sorry your a feeling this way.  You have come to a good place.  Lots of great people here who understand!!!  Congrats on emptying that box. When you are feeling like you are feeling, little steps are big ones.  I would encourage you to try to take a little/big step everyday.  Hugs!!!

 

watalife - Hugs to you!!!  All I can say is I know the feeling.  It will get better!

 

As for me, I got inexplicably tired around dinner and had a nap.  Now my sleep tonight will likely be messed up. Day 2 off work.  Feeling guilty and unworthy as usual.  Afraid that even if they move me to another job away from my toxic boss, I might not be able to get my motivation back.  I guess what I'm saying is, maybe it is more than my boss? I am pretty sure it is him, but I also can't even imagine having energy and doing a good job there again. My spirit feels broken.  Confused.

 

Cheers, all

 

Brian

 

Hi there Brian! Thank you for the warm welcome. I thought it may be a good idea to reach out to a community who understands. Thank you for the congrats on emptying the box! I will definitely try to take a step every day. I'm thinking dishes and another box tomorrow... I feel you on the messed up sleep! My sweetie and I got home from running errands at around 8:30 and we ended up falling asleep around 9:30... woke up at midnight. This shall be interesting. I hope that your work situation gets better. Hopefully once you are away from toxicity, your motivation will come back. Hugs to you as well!

 

 

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again. 

hiya! and welcome!!! YAY NEW JOURNEY!!!

 

if you can get your hands on a smudge stick made of sage that may REALLY help with the negative feelings you have while your in the apartment...

sage is used by the native americans to purify the air and the rooms you burn it in ^_^

i know how it feels to be overwhelmed with everything all at once... like sal said... take a small step at a time... take a year to unpack lol who is it gonna bother?

emptying a box a day will keep the overwhelmingness away ^_^

btw... LOVE the Naruto photo!

 

sairyss - Hi there!! You know, I've heard about that but never thought to give it a go! I've actually been meaning to look into some natural ways to help my depression, as I do not have health insurance so I can't really go to therapy or get on medication without it costing me an arm and a leg. Definitely going to take one step at a time with the unpacking. Ahhh yay, a fellow Naruto fan! Thanks for the compliment!! :)

 

 

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again.

Hi Queen - I also want to welcome you and encourage you to be patient with yourself (and the unpacked boxes). Sometimes if we handke things in small steps it won't feel so bad. Unpack one box per week? Clean one room per week sorta thing. I hope you find another job that's a good fit for you. It's important to feel support whether it's friends, family or workmates. A move is exciting but also stressful so be as kind to yourself as you can. Hugs!!

 

Follena - Hi there! Thank you for the warm welcome. Thank you for the advice on packing and cleaning. I am definitely trying not to overwhelm myself, because that's one thing I always tend to do. It's a bad habit I'm trying to break as of recently. It's definitely a process! I worked from home for 6 months and it was lovely, but the job was a temporary position unfortunately. I think after getting comfortable doing that, going out and working again was overwhelming. I'm considering trying to find another work from home position, I'll keep everyone posted! For now, I figure I'll take a breather through the holidays. Hugs to you too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again.

Welcome queenofepic. I find moving to be terribly draining. It's like an expectation that getting to the place we're going will automatically make us feel better because we've been immersed in all of the planning, but we get there and realize there's a lot more work to be done. Ha. Celebrate the fact that you got all of your stuff moved and a box put away and now you can just take your sweet time and rest up a bit. I promise the stuff won't go away.

I once told my therapist, when I was thirty-eight years old, that I felt I had lived several lifetimes. Instead of the usual you're too young to feel that way comment, she just said well, maybe you have. I still love her for that comment. Not that I really know if I believe in the many lives theory, but she validated my exhaustion and just let me know it was okay to feel what I was feeling. I was tired and rightfully so. I had been through a lot at that time and was reluctant to acknowledge that. I guess I felt like I had to keep pushing really hard to straighten things out. I've since come to realize that there isn't really much of life that needs straightening out. I believe that as long as I'm living there will always be new challenges. Looking at it this way gives me relieve from the hurry up syndrome. Well, sometimes that works.

Hugs to you.

 

Hi there Renee, thank you for the warm welcome and for taking the time to reply. Yeah, I'd been planning this move for a while and I was so eager to get to the new place since I'd basically been supporting my deadbeat cousin for 3 months and wanted a fresh start. I'm happy to be here now but after being overwhelmed with everything before, and now being surrounded by all of this, it kinda has me feeling 'ugh.' Definitely taking my time with this and being patient with myself!

 

To be honest, I was a little afraid to include my age and that comment because I was slightly worried people would tell me just that. 'You're too young to feel that way, you have your whole life ahead of you, wait until you get older and you have real problems, etc.' I've been told that in the past, but now I realize that my worries about experiencing that here were unnecessary. :) That was wonderful of your therapist to tell you that. The day I was born, the first thing the doctor told my mother was that I'm an old soul. So perhaps there is some truth to that, who knows? Thank you for your kind words and wise advice. Hugs to you too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm having one of those moments when I question my motives. I keep talking about wanting to feel well, but do I want to feel well bad enough to do the things I need to do to get there? I do some of them, which I'm going to list here just so I can get some perspective. So, I guess my journey towards taking better care of myself started two years ago when I left a toxic relationship. That was a huge move for me and actually I was preparing for that move for a year before I left. I was actively involved in adult children of alcoholics and doing that step work prompted me to make some changes. By the time I left I was dealing with some ptsd, anxiety, and depression. I still have a lot of triggers from things that happened in the relationship, but they are getting better. I also started on medication and had many of the medical tests I'd been putting off. I have relief now knowing that I'm physically in decent shape. I did some work with healing touch therapy, fasting, smudging, and cleansing my home of photographs and letters and other gifts from men in my past who I wanted to be free from. I did a challenging work book When Hope Can ****, which was nearly a hundred pages of writing about my life, my part in continually hoping things would get better and living in that delusion. It took me months of writing it all down and then I burned it. So, I'm now in a phase where I'm reading and focusing on adding positives to my life, but here's the deal. There is so much more I could do and I seem to have stalled out in some areas. I am not exercising. I am not eating healthy and I'm smoking again. I often feel my shoulders tightening up from stress and have to remind myself to relax. My work environment is noisy and on my days off I sometimes want no noise. I don't even want to turn the television on.

I'm sure if I just added a walk in the fresh air and got some sun, I work night shift so I get very little light exposure, I'd feel better. It makes me question how accustomed I have become to this life of not quite going the distance for myself.

Just rambling thoughts. ha. I hope you all take care of yourselves today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sick and tired of struggling to maintain this life that I don't even want. The ONLY thing that means anything to me is my two pets. I have fought since day one to cope with this life and its not getting any better only worse. I'm close to losing my home and im very worried. This world sucks. No one has a place I can stay nor are they willing to let me stay. Life is stoooooopid.

Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time.  Hope things improve. (((hugs)))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

its 8am and im awake .... only reason i am awake is because i have an interview at 10am ^_^ so wish me luck!!! god knows i need this job!!

 

How exciting! Good luck to you! I'm thinking of applying at Walmart or something... I loved my job at Target before my store closed! Sending lots of positive vibes your way!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm tired and worn out. I don't know how I'm going to get through this day. And I have to research website content management systems for SEO & see which themes from Worpress are best for SEO.

 

Good Lord. Can't we just get the SEO plugin and be done with it? I know people probably don't know what the heck I'm talking about --- a website management system that will be good for ranking in the search engines.

 

I'm sick of SEO. Sick of being the in-house "expert". It's too much pressure, as IcyRose mentioned before.

 

Feeling down & very negative. And naturally, my boss still hasn't called me to clarify plans for the Thanksgiving Holiday. Do I need to work or what? This last minute crap is bullsh*t. I'm so angry with her I can barely focus.

 

And naturally, she has not kept me up to date on a site redesign when I'm supposed to be integrally involved. GRRRR!!!! What the hell. Her communication skills SUCK.... she hasn't met with me on the phone for I think 6 weeks now to keep me up to date.

 

One bright, silver lining -- the company owner just responded to my suggestions and said they they will implement them. Finally!! My boss puts on the back burner and ignores most my suggestions for improvement.

Edited by havehope
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hellooo, newbie here. Joined this forum as I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and am currently going through a wave of depression.

 

I just moved into a new apartment and I thought once I was in the new place I would feel more motivated and happier, but I'm surrounded by boxes and cleaning that needs to be done. The thought of doing anything makes me cringe, and I have no motivation at all. I did unpack one big box in the kitchen tonight, so I suppose that's a baby step. I recently quit my job as a bank teller as I felt it wasn't a good fit for me, though I acknowledge that part of that had to due with my anxiety and depression creating a huge confidence issue... For now I feel like I need to take a breather. I am 20 years old and feel like I have lived a whole lifetime. I'm tired. Honestly wish I knew how to start feeling better and have a pep in my step again. 

Welcome queenofepic! :welcomeani:

 

You've found a soft & comforting place to land here at DF.  There's tons of support here for you, so I'm glad you found us. As others have already said, take just one baby step at a time with the unpacking and do give yourself a break over the depression... it's hard enough to deal with depression, and a move can be overwhelming, plus a change in your job situation. Lots of changes to grapple with. Are you taking any meds for your depression and/or anxiety? 

We're all here for you, so keep posting. :hugs:

Edited by havehope
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

its 8am and im awake .... only reason i am awake is because i have an interview at 10am ^_^ so wish me luck!!! god knows i need this job!!

Good luck sairyss!!!!

 

 

 

its 8am and im awake .... only reason i am awake is because i have an interview at 10am ^_^ so wish me luck!!! god knows i need this job!!

 

How exciting! Good luck to you! I'm thinking of applying at Walmart or something... I loved my job at Target before my store closed! Sending lots of positive vibes your way!

 

lol sooo i am home from the "interview" already ... went there and the person i was supposed to be interviewing with wasnt working today V_V so the manager told me to come back tomorrow V_V

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...