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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2


freckledface

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So, here it comes, the afternoon dip I was suspecting, being so fatigued.  I am trying to surf, but my mind keeps going to things I have lost and miss. I know I am wallowing in victim-hood.  Must stop it somehow.

I'm having a similar dip, Brian.... I find that physical movement or any kind of distraction helps break my train of thought... maybe take a little break and treat yourself to something... or take a little walk around. Hang in there!

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Horrible. Two breakups now just six months apart. Feel so empty. Everyone just leaves me as soon as I get invested. After my first breakup this year I told myself I would not get so easily attached again. What a joke, of course I did. I just don't have a defence mechanism at all. What's worse is both breakups were just completely out of the blue. Especially this latest one. The night prior she was wrapped in my arms saying she's not felt this way about anyone before. The next night she ends it saying she's in a really bad place and it's not fair to continue the relationship. What the hell does that even mean? Just more excuses. As soon as it looks serious they run. I've bought myself a ying yang pendant today just to try and remind myself that even though I'm going through dark times now, there has to be some good times ahead, to balance it all out. Heck, I've got to believe that. I won't be taking it off anytime soon.

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Horrible. Two breakups now just six months apart. Feel so empty. Everyone just leaves me as soon as I get invested. After my first breakup this year I told myself I would not get so easily attached again. What a joke, of course I did. I just don't have a defence mechanism at all. What's worse is both breakups were just completely out of the blue. Especially this latest one. The night prior she was wrapped in my arms saying she's not felt this way about anyone before. The next night she ends it saying she's in a really bad place and it's not fair to continue the relationship. What the hell does that even mean? Just more excuses. As soon as it looks serious they run. I've bought myself a ying yang pendant today just to try and remind myself that even though I'm going through dark times now, there has to be some good times ahead, to balance it all out. Heck, I've got to believe that. I won't be taking it off anytime soon.

Hi there, so sorry for your pain... breakups can really shake a person up, but you sound pretty grounded in fact, despite having gone through two! Kudos to you for buying a ying yang... that's such a positive approach. If you don't mind my saying so though, it may be for the best that the last one ended since she's flip flopping so quickly like that? That doesn't sound very stable or like she knows what she wants or what she's really doing. To go from one end of the spectrum to the next within one day doesn't exactly exude stability in a person.. you may be better off without her in the end.... just my two cents!

Sending healing thoughts & lots of positive vibes for you.... there are definitely good times ahead. :hugs:

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Duck, havehope, Mia, majorh, Abandonalways, JD, ej, Sal, anita, Pess, Kaniro, SongsofInF, Charmingly: I just wanted to let you all know I read your posts and at this moment I'm sending virtual strength and comfort your way. :hugs:

 

I was plugging away this morning/afternoon and an hour ago after a couple of phone calls my mood has tanked and my anxiety is through the roof. It's the same thing over and over again. I'm going to hide under the covers.

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I think I have a shopping problem. I can't stop buying clothing. The moment I don't have something coming in the mail, I buy something else. I think I'm trying to fight depression with shopaholism. And I think I just made up that word.

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SongOfIce... it sounds like U and I are in the same space, mentally bud, even though I am an older dude.  I am embarking on relationships but I am extremely scared, for the first time in my life, to get too attached.  Well, what kind of relationship is that?  It's not, really.  I am just plain confused about partnerships right now.  I was better off, I think, when I didn't know enough to jump in with both feet.  Unfortunately, now I know.  I feel that friendships have more staying power than romantic attachments, and that makes me very sad.

 

FF - big hugs to you girl.  Just so you know, you have been, are are, a delight for me!  I hope your anxiety subsides :)

 

ej - I hope you are feeling better.

 

As for me, I am feeling OK.  My Blue Jays are losing and will lose their series against the Royals BUT I am calmed and soothed by a few things: a) Royals are an amazing team, really! and b) My friend Dolphin will have her team in the WS!

 

Also, we got rid of our divisive Prime Minister here in Canada last night.

 

And my cat is currently purring on my lap.

 

It's OK!!!

 

Bri

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Emotionally I feel pretty good today, but my body feels, or rather felt, like it had been slammed.  I worked Sunday night and my relief called off so I ended up stuck there for 14 hours.  Yesterday is a blur.  Ha.  I expected to feel better today, but after going to get some food, quarters for the laundry, and a quick grocery shopping trip, I was exhausted again.  I've been having insomnia so I took melatonin last night.  Maybe that's why I still felt tired today.  Now it's 8pm and I don't feel like doing any of the chores I had planned on doing today, but I'm not tired either.  I rented a movie earlier and did manage to get the garbage out and the mail in so maybe I'll just chill with this movie.

 

My bosses last day was yesterday.  There are a lot of rumors going around as to what happened but given that she didn't want to go, but was offered a position at a sister facility, I'm guessing they compromised.  In some ways she was a good boss, but I think she tried to be friends and party with the staff too much.  She was super controlling and sent us texts nearly every day.  It was odd, and sort of a relief, not to get one today.  Maybe that's where part of my tiredness comes from today.  It sort of felt like a burden has been lifted.  She was very intimidating though I didn't have a lot of trouble with her.  She could not keep staff.  I just hope our new boss likes a little less contact than she did. 

 

Has anyone here ever tried doing the morning pages from the book An Artist's Way?

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Awww.... FF, just because you're crying a lot does not mean you're a loser. (((((hugs)))))

 

I'm really frustrated with my life. I'm so conflicted, so lost, and so confused, I don't know where to turn or what to do. I'm at a loss. The choices I'm making I'm not sure are the right ones or what I truly want. 

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I forced myself to go to a poetry reading earlier this evening. I really wanted to get a login problem solved, but I may wait until tomorrow. But I was panicking like crazy about it and had to get out of the house. Listening to my friends read their work took my mind off it, but now it's back...

I may have to uninstall something and reinstall it. I will do whatever the help desk tells me to do, but it's crucial that I act on that first and don't fart around online.

And my computer is an older Macbook and I wish I had something newer and faster. I got a hand-me-down.

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havehope - at least you're trying. Lately I've just been 'losing' myself in computer games and TV and not even trying to think about what I should be doing other than simple cooking, dishes and laundry. I'm not allowing myself to try to figure out anything complicated or distressing. I'm kind of in a little protective hole right now and I don't want to come out.

Edited by Mia42
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Duck, havehope, Mia, majorh, Abandonalways, JD, ej, Sal, anita, Pess, Kaniro, SongsofInF, Charmingly: I just wanted to let you all know I read your posts and at this moment I'm sending virtual strength and comfort your way. :hugs:

 

I was plugging away this morning/afternoon and an hour ago after a couple of phone calls my mood has tanked and my anxiety is through the roof. It's the same thing over and over again. I'm going to hide under the covers.

All I can do is send :hugs: (for some reason, they're the only emoticon I can make when I use my iPad with a bluetooth keyboard) and I don't think you're a loser.

If it's someone else calling you that, I'll punch them.

If it's your brain or the Big D, I'll merely chide your brain for that. And continue sending :hugs:

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Emotionally I feel pretty good today, but my body feels, or rather felt, like it had been slammed. I worked Sunday night and my relief called off so I ended up stuck there for 14 hours. Yesterday is a blur. Ha. I expected to feel better today, but after going to get some food, quarters for the laundry, and a quick grocery shopping trip, I was exhausted again. I've been having insomnia so I took melatonin last night. Maybe that's why I still felt tired today. Now it's 8pm and I don't feel like doing any of the chores I had planned on doing today, but I'm not tired either. I rented a movie earlier and did manage to get the garbage out and the mail in so maybe I'll just chill with this movie.

My bosses last day was yesterday. There are a lot of rumors going around as to what happened but given that she didn't want to go, but was offered a position at a sister facility, I'm guessing they compromised. In some ways she was a good boss, but I think she tried to be friends and party with the staff too much. She was super controlling and sent us texts nearly every day. It was odd, and sort of a relief, not to get one today. Maybe that's where part of my tiredness comes from today. It sort of felt like a burden has been lifted. She was very intimidating though I didn't have a lot of trouble with her. She could not keep staff. I just hope our new boss likes a little less contact than she did.

Has anyone here ever tried doing the morning pages from the book An Artist's Way?

Hi renee2--I do the Morning Pages every day. Okay sometimes there are days when I don't get up with enough solitude time and sometimes I can only crab out 1 or 2 pages. Nevertheless, I think they are an excellent tool for bringing a person back to themselves, to their inner selves.

edited to add: I've only been doing them since 2009, I forget when exactly and there have been times when I've decided I didn't have the time to do them. But now is one of those times when it's important for me to do them.

Edited by Dolphin2013
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Emotionally a wreck today.  Lots of emotions and memories flooding through my mind to overflow.  Some tears shed today after my eye appointment.  And slight panic attack.  I was in an hour of traffic so that might have caused the panic.  But I listened to some nice jazz and that helped somewhat.  Therapy tomorrow, thank god, so I hope he will help me deal. Right now I do feel out of control..

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