glowkapogoda Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Cold, shivery. Tense, sad, heart beating like I've been in a fight, disappointed. Thinking about how doing something I've meant to do for months should give me a feeling of having accomplished something, and wondering what it means that it doesn't. Wishing I were sleepy so I could go to bed. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpiralingMind Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Welcome to DF, glowkapogoda! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I am feeling a bit relaxed. I did not see my lazy friends today. I went to an Anxiety/depression group, then Costco, then another Depression/Anxiety group where a guest speaker spoke about her depression and the four month program she was in that really helped her, then Emotions Anonymous. I went to Chapters book store/Starbucks then Second cup where I met a nice young lady. I walked for a bit and text my friend John and called my co-worker Johnny. Over all it was a good day. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverLight Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) Thank you Roadking, much appreciated!!! I'm glad to be back. After conversing with an ex colleague of mine yesterday, I have concluded that my boss has narcissistic personality disorder. It is the only thing that makes sense and fits her extreme behaviors. How does one deal with an NPD boss? I need to look it up. I am still upset over her treatment of me the other day. She accused me of everything under the sun that wasn't even my fault. Her ranting and raving at me is entirely unacceptable behavior. You know what it felt like? A child having a tantrum! To also yell at me for wanting to go on short term disability I think truly takes the cake. What boss does this??? She lacks any and all empathy. And I still cannot believe she won't hold meetings. Who runs a company without supervisory check ins and meetings? I've never heard of such a thing. She has a whole marketing team and wants to start conversations about how to improve things, well why don't we just hold meetings? DUH. I don't know how I'm going to survive.. I don't know how I'm going to manage to work each and every day. I am terrified of quitting without another job lined up. And I'm behind in my course this week because of her. And who knows how long it will take me to find another job? It could take six months! I could end up in ER again before that. If she abuses me one more time though, I may just have to quit. :/ Feeling deeply disgruntled and unmotivated. Edited February 18, 2016 by RiverLight 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Better than yesterday. Last night, I had a nice conversation with the person who I hurt. It was certainly good for me, and I think it was good for them, too. It's a new, and better day. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Recovering from a short but extremely brutal case of gastroenteritis (norovirus, most likely)... Aside from that,....situation normal, depressed as ever :( Feel like life isn't ever going to get any better.. (((RL))) So sorry your horrible boss has been putting you through hell. Hope you find your way to a better situation! (((Hugs))) to everyone else who is struggling.. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 1 minute ago, JD4010 said: Better than yesterday. Last night, I had a nice conversation with the person who I hurt. It was certainly good for me, and I think it was good for them, too. It's a new, and better day. That's great JD! 49 minutes ago, RiverLight said: Thank you Roadking, much appreciated!!! I'm glad to be back. After conversing with an ex colleague of mine yesterday, I have concluded that my boss has narcissistic personality disorder. It is the only thing that makes sense and fits her extreme behaviors. How does one deal with an NPD boss? I need to look it up. I am still upset over her treatment of me the other day. She accused me of everything under the sun that wasn't even my fault. Her ranting and raving at me is entirely unacceptable behavior. You know what it felt like? A child having a tantrum! To also yell at me for wanting to go on short term disability I think truly takes the cake. What boss does this??? She lacks any and all empathy. And I still cannot believe she won't hold meetings. Who runs a company without supervisory check ins and meetings? I've never heard of such a thing. She has a whole marketing team and wants to start conversations about how to improve things, well why don't we just hold meetings? DUH. I don't know how I'm going to survive.. I don't know how I'm going to manage to work each and every day. I am terrified of quitting without another job lined up. And I'm behind in my course this week because of her. And who knows how long it will take me to find another job? It could take six months! I could end up in ER again before that. If she abuses me one more time though, I may just have to quit. :/ Feeling deeply disgruntled and unmotivated. Hi Riv, I know it is daunting. I actually have a terrible suspicion that 95% of people in leadership positions in this culture we've created have NPD. I would like to tell you to try not to think of potential catastrophes in the future so much, and try to be in the moment, but, geez I do the same thing and I would feel like a hypocrite. Nevertheless, perhaps we should both (maybe all of us) try to be present and take one day at a time. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I awoke extremely anxious. I am so tired of having to fight so hard for my sanity every day. It is literally exhausting. That said, I have put a morning routine into practice that seems to be helping me: I sit up in bed a while before getting up, then go down, make coffee and just sit in the quiet, do a little meditation ( I concentrate on my breathing, and then think compassionate thoughts for the world (you folks are always in there :) ). Then I go about my day. It is not a miracle solution, but I have noticed that it does improve my outlook. Cheers, everyone, Brian 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttermybiscuit Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Woke up at 3 AM due to a nightmare, and then let my mind wander...yeah, didn't end well. Looks like I'm going to have to actually ask for help for my anxiety, since I clearly can't deal with it on my own. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxietygirl7 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Hi everyone - hope everyone is fairing well (if that's a thing). Today is my birthday and it doesn't matter to me because the one person I want to hear happy birthday from, my mom, is no longer here... so today is going to be kinda sad. It's okay though. I know she's with me. @buttermybiscuit I hope you do ask for help with your anxiety - you don't need to face it alone! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverLight Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 1 hour ago, LonelyHiker said: Recovering from a short but extremely brutal case of gastroenteritis (norovirus, most likely)... Aside from that,....situation normal, depressed as ever :( Feel like life isn't ever going to get any better.. (((RL))) So sorry your horrible boss has been putting you through hell. Hope you find your way to a better situation! (((Hugs))) to everyone else who is struggling.. LH, thanks so much.... I truly hope things improve for you soon, though I know how things can feel entirely hopeless when it comes to depression. Hugs! 1 hour ago, salparadise6132 said: Hi Riv, I know it is daunting. I actually have a terrible suspicion that 95% of people in leadership positions in this culture we've created have NPD. I would like to tell you to try not to think of potential catastrophes in the future so much, and try to be in the moment, but, geez I do the same thing and I would feel like a hypocrite. Nevertheless, perhaps we should both (maybe all of us) try to be present and take one day at a time. Brian, thanks so much.... unfortunately, I bet you're right. I will try to live day by day... right now I need to just get through today. It is a struggle no doubt. 59 minutes ago, salparadise6132 said: I awoke extremely anxious. I am so tired of having to fight so hard for my sanity every day. It is literally exhausting. That said, I have put a morning routine into practice that seems to be helping me: I sit up in bed a while before getting up, then go down, make coffee and just sit in the quiet, do a little meditation ( I concentrate on my breathing, and then think compassionate thoughts for the world (you folks are always in there :) ). Then I go about my day. It is not a miracle solution, but I have noticed that it does improve my outlook. Cheers, everyone, Brian Regarding your post, so sorry you're feeling so anxious. =( It is exhausting, I know, and very tiresome. I feel the same atm. Glad though that your new morning routine is helping! Maybe I will try that as well -- you have inspired me to try new methods for dealing with my life. 28 minutes ago, anxietygirl7 said: Hi everyone - hope everyone is fairing well (if that's a thing). Today is my birthday and it doesn't matter to me because the one person I want to hear happy birthday from, my mom, is no longer here... so today is going to be kinda sad. It's okay though. I know she's with me. @buttermybiscuit I hope you do ask for help with your anxiety - you don't need to face it alone! anxietygirl, so very sorry you don't have your mom around and are feeling sad on your bday. Good to feel she is with you though.. she is probably celebrating your birth and you for who are you from wherever she is. I do wish you a happy birthday and I hope that you are able to find a way to enjoy it in other ways today, even though you may be feeling sad too. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salparadise6132 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 24 minutes ago, anxietygirl7 said: Hi everyone - hope everyone is fairing well (if that's a thing). Today is my birthday and it doesn't matter to me because the one person I want to hear happy birthday from, my mom, is no longer here... so today is going to be kinda sad. It's okay though. I know she's with me. @buttermybiscuit I hope you do ask for help with your anxiety - you don't need to face it alone! Happy birthday AG! I am sorry about your mom! I hope you can find a little happiness today (((AG))) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I am watching music videos Lana Del Ray "Born to Die" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 35 minutes ago, anxietygirl7 said: Hi everyone - hope everyone is fairing well (if that's a thing). Today is my birthday and it doesn't matter to me because the one person I want to hear happy birthday from, my mom, is no longer here... so today is going to be kinda sad. It's okay though. I know she's with me. @buttermybiscuit I hope you do ask for help with your anxiety - you don't need to face it alone! Happy birthday anxietygirl7! Hope it is a good day despite everything...I know how hard it can be when you are missing loved ones. (((hugs)) 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Just been crying on and off all morning...it used to help...now I think it just dehydrates me on top of everything else 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttermybiscuit Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 @anxietygirl7 Wishing you a Happy Birthday and hope you will feel some happiness today. Celebrations are always hard without our loves ones not being present. I'm sure your mother is celebrating and throwing her own party for you, wherever she is. :) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverLight Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 1 hour ago, LonelyHiker said: Just been crying on and off all morning...it used to help...now I think it just dehydrates me on top of everything else I'm sorry, LH.... that really sucks. =( do drink plenty of water. I feel like crying with you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonelyHiker Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 12 minutes ago, RiverLight said: I'm sorry, LH.... that really sucks. =( do drink plenty of water. I feel like crying with you. Thank you RL, a "crying buddy" would be nice! Hugs back atcha... T 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 "Our vanity gets in the way of our sanity". I just made that up. Feel free to print it on bumper stickers and get filthy rich from it. Happy Birthday, Anxietygirl7! I'm not feeling great, but I'm not crawling through the ditch, either. I'd call that a win. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
althor Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Scared of another exam tomorrow. I really shouldn't worry about it so much. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindsay Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Topic is locked 33 minutes ago, JD4010 said: "Our vanity gets in the way of our sanity". I just made that up. Feel free to print it on bumper stickers and get filthy rich from it. Happy Birthday, Anxietygirl7! I'm not feeling great, but I'm not crawling through the ditch, either. I'd call that a win. Topic is finally locked, going to be moved to The Water Cooler! Follow moi! ~Lindsay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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