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The "how Do You Feel Right Now?" Thread 2


freckledface

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I feel like a piece of garbage I really hate myself in general im noticing.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, SG :/ (((((((hugs))))))) I do hope these feelings turn around for you. You are worthy of self-love and self compassion!

 

I myself am really wishing I could take time off of work for mental health reasons. I think I'm going to crack soon. The stress is far too much for me to endure. My boss just keep making new demands on me, I am stretched too thin, am stressed beyond belief, and now am worried that I can't meet her latest demand. I can't even focus on the education course I am taking in order to get a different & better job. I only worked on it for an hour tonight. This is not good. :/

 

 

(((Hugs))) Riv!  Been there, got the hoodie.  In my experience, these pressure times go up and down.  I hope you can find a way to navigate this rough time!!!!

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I feel like a piece of garbage I really hate myself in general im noticing.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, SG :/ (((((((hugs))))))) I do hope these feelings turn around for you. You are worthy of self-love and self compassion!

 

I myself am really wishing I could take time off of work for mental health reasons. I think I'm going to crack soon. The stress is far too much for me to endure. My boss just keep making new demands on me, I am stretched too thin, am stressed beyond belief, and now am worried that I can't meet her latest demand. I can't even focus on the education course I am taking in order to get a different & better job. I only worked on it for an hour tonight. This is not good. :/

 

Thanks riverlight I hope you feel better to and your boss learns to relax((((riverlight)))

 

i just noticed I always feel inferior around everyone,almost everyone I know seeems to be a better person then me or have a happy life I get jealous of such good people.and I hate myself for it.i just want to be happy with my life and happy for others.i just feels absoulety nothing towards anyone or myself alot of the time.i feel like nobody gets me or understands me,I don,t know what to do to feel good about myself. or feel connected to other people.

 

 

Scienceguy, what about making up an imaginary best friend who knows everything about you.  See yourself as he (or she) would see you. 

 

I think Lauryn is on to something.

 

Well, one month out of the year down.  January was tough, but I think I weathered the storm.  I am pretty glad I found this forum since then though.  I appreciate anyone that reads my crazy nonsense.  I've thought that I hit rock bottom so many times, but each time it gets worse and I realize I hadn't hit rock bottom yet. This is the lowest point of my life.  It hasn't been pretty, but everyday I get a little bit closer to being able to function again.  Pretty proud of myself for staying sober through this too.  It makes me feel, no matter how bad things get, I can take it.

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I feel like a piece of garbage I really hate myself in general im noticing.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, SG :/ (((((((hugs))))))) I do hope these feelings turn around for you. You are worthy of self-love and self compassion!

 

I myself am really wishing I could take time off of work for mental health reasons. I think I'm going to crack soon. The stress is far too much for me to endure. My boss just keep making new demands on me, I am stretched too thin, am stressed beyond belief, and now am worried that I can't meet her latest demand. I can't even focus on the education course I am taking in order to get a different & better job. I only worked on it for an hour tonight. This is not good. :/

 

Thanks riverlight I hope you feel better to and your boss learns to relax((((riverlight)))

 

i just noticed I always feel inferior around everyone,almost everyone I know seeems to be a better person then me or have a happy life I get jealous of such good people.and I hate myself for it.i just want to be happy with my life and happy for others.i just feels absoulety nothing towards anyone or myself alot of the time.i feel like nobody gets me or understands me,I don,t know what to do to feel good about myself. or feel connected to other people.

 

 

Scienceguy, what about making up an imaginary best friend who knows everything about you.  See yourself as he (or she) would see you. 

 

i don,t think they would like me either.i need to atleast try to make myself like me i guess.Thank you laryncat

 

 

Hey scienceguy - I have a suggestion. I am skeptical about a lot of solutions we are prescribed, but one thing I know works for me is doing good for others.  How about volunteering somewhere and really helping out people who need it?  Only has to be a couple of hours a week.  This is something I really want to do (and am going to do!) but I don't really have the time right now (you may be in the same situation).  I get around it by trying to offer advice and support on this site and practicing a daily compassion medication for all the world and it's inhabitants - including the non-human ones.  I know, it sounds sort of crazy. But, I read somewhere recently (maybe on here) that the most potent and effective weapon we have for feeling better is our ability to think more of others and less of ourselves.  I think this goes against our natural reflex when we are feeling bad - we entrench, internalize, and focus on ourselves.  It's a paradox, but helping other really improves how we feel about ourselves!!!!  Just a suggestion offer in the best of faith.  Best to you, my friend!

 

I have voulnteered alot in the past at a nursing home with people I was friends with from a class the friend I had was a huge bully and would take shots at me while voulnteering and it ended up with ous being passive aggressive with each other I did that for almost a year then voulnteered at a animal shelter for two months where I left when I would get so overly emotional hearing about other people social life and relationships I felt like I would start crying there and end up leaving once I went on vacation and was trying to do real estate,I was thinking of doing it again I was going to ask my college professor if I could do something with marine mammals or at a zoo.I am fine with helping people it is just the voulnteers around me upset me I would have no problem doing everything myself.I think myself esteem is so bad or I have so much self hatred when I try things that are good it sometimes make me more upset.I would recommend trying it you may meet some interesting people. thank you for the advice Salparadise.I feel bad being on here like im annoying everyone with my posts.

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I had a wonderful dream where I was with my ex-wife. We were in a house being playful, having fun and laughing. It felt so light and happy. I never feel that way when awake.

It was an unusual dream because usually my dreams are not light and happy. But this one felt so good.

Then I woke up suddenly, and I realized it was just a dream, and I was alone in the darkness again like always. A profound sadness came over me. Depression feels even worse today than usual now.

The happiness I dreamed of seems an impossibility. What a cruel dream. Why the hell are we here??? Don't think I want to take much more of this.

Edited by One More Red Nightmare
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I had a wonderful dream where I was with my ex-wife. We were in a house being playful, having fun and laughing. It felt so light and happy. I never feel that way when awake.

It was an unusual dream because usually my dreams are not light and happy. But this one felt so good.

Then I woke up suddenly, and I realized it was just a dream, and I was alone in the darkness again like always. A profound sadness came over me. Depression feels even worse today than usual now.

The happiness I dreamed of seems an impossibility. What a cruel dream. Why the hell are we here??? Don't think I want to take much more of this.

 

((((OMRN)))))

 

Those dreams really suck, don't they? :(

 

I haven't dreamt of my ex in quite a while, but those times that I have, the experience is exactly as you describe. I'd rather have bad dreams or even nightmares than to be tortured with taunting visions of happiness, only to wake up to the very real nightmare that I live each and every day.

 

F**k this disease...

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Brian, Lauryn, and ScienceGuy, thank you for your supportive responses about my job and for the hugs! Much appreciated!

 

So I really don't know what to do. I want to tell my boss that I am not equipped or trained for the latest task she gave me... I don't know how to even approach it with her.  My mother suggested trying to do it, then asking for help if I can't. I don't know, I wish my job didn't stress me out so much. :/ I'm already stressed about it and I haven't even started working yet.

Edited by RiverLight
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6:00 a.m., I feel terrible. I feel scared. Bottles of pills are looking attractive. I am so scared.

So very sorry :/ I know this feeling.... been there many times. Those thoughts do pass, but please stay safe and call a crisis line if you are truly in trouble. Remember that your name is hopeful for a reason. ((((((hugs))))))

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I'm flying very low to the ground and may crash at any second.

 

Sh!t just keeps piling up. Yes, that happens with everyone, but the universe seems to be conspiring to dump a much larger heap of sh!t upon me than usual.

 

And I have a spoon to dig myself out from the tons of sh!t piled on top of me.

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Brian, Lauryn, and ScienceGuy, thank you for your supportive responses about my job and for the hugs! Much appreciated!

 

So I really don't know what to do. I want to tell my boss that I am not equipped or trained for the latest task she gave me... I don't know how to even approach it with her.  My mother suggested trying to do it, then asking for help if I can't. I don't know, I wish my job didn't stress me out so much. :/ I'm already stressed about it and I haven't even started working yet.

 

Riv - Without knowing the details, your mother's advice sounds like it might be a good way to go. I wonder if you could just explain to your boss that this is out of your comfort zone but you are working away on it.  That way, he/she doesn't find all that out when the product is due?  (I know it's hard - I literally could not talk to my boss about anything a month ago).

 

As for me, I received a text from a lady I was dating in December.  At the time, it was all going pretty well.  When we were together she would be talking about all the great things we would be doing in the future (near future).  Then, when we were apart, she would pull back.  She did this twice.  The first time she said I needed to get back to work (was off on med. leave).  The second time she just canceled a date and went dark for a month (so did I though, I just wrote her off). I believe she likes me but is disappointed in my financial situation (just the feeling I get).  I know the thing for me to do is ignore the Email and never go back to this again.  But, I am tempted, if only for the prospect of perhaps friends with benefits (to put it bluntly).  I am off the dating site and am looking at a long stretch alone.  It would be nice to have even infrequent contact if that's what she wants as well.  I do like her, but I know relationship is a total no go.  Respond or no, that is the question????

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Thanks, Brian, that's good advice! I will try that. As for your lady friend, why not respond and see what this is all about/why she's contacting you again.. feel it out, then decide? You can always get together with her again, and decide later if it's not really something you want to pursue on any level, or feel out the friends with benefits scenario. Seems the ball is in your court right now.

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I feel like a piece of garbage I really hate myself in general im noticing.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, SG :/ (((((((hugs))))))) I do hope these feelings turn around for you. You are worthy of self-love and self compassion! [/font

 

I myself am really wishing I could take time off of work for mental health reasons. I think I'm going to crack soon. The stress is far too much for me to endure. My boss just keep making new demands on me, I am stretched too thin, am stressed beyond belief, and now am worried that I can't meet her latest demand. I can't even focus on the education course I am taking in order to get a different & better job. I only worked on it for an hour tonight. This is not good. :/

Thanks riverlight I hope you feel better to and your boss learns to relax((((riverlight)))

 

i just noticed I always feel inferior around everyone,almost everyone I know seeems to be a better person then me or have a happy life I get jealous of such good people.and I hate myself for it.i just want to be happy with my life and happy for others.i just feels absoulety nothing towards anyone or myself alot of the time.i feel like nobody gets me or understands me,I don,t know what to do to feel good about myself. or feel connected to other people.

 

Scienceguy, what about making up an imaginary best friend who knows everything about you.  See yourself as he (or she) would see you.

i don,t think they would like me either.i need to atleast try to make myself like me i guess.Thank you laryncat

 

Hey scienceguy - I have a suggestion. I am skeptical about a lot of solutions we are prescribed, but one thing I know works for me is doing good for others.  How about volunteering somewhere and really helping out people who need it?  Only has to be a couple of hours a week.  This is something I really want to do (and am going to do!) but I don't really have the time right now (you may be in the same situation).  I get around it by trying to offer advice and support on this site and practicing a daily compassion medication for all the world and it's inhabitants - including the non-human ones.  I know, it sounds sort of crazy. But, I read somewhere recently (maybe on here) that the most potent and effective weapon we have for feeling better is our ability to think more of others and less of ourselves.  I think this goes against our natural reflex when we are feeling bad - we entrench, internalize, and focus on ourselves.  It's a paradox, but helping other really improves how we feel about ourselves!!!!  Just a suggestion offer in the best of faith.  Best to you, my friend!

I have voulnteered alot in the past at a nursing home with people I was friends with from a class the friend I had was a huge bully and would take shots at me while voulnteering and it ended up with ous being passive aggressive with each other I did that for almost a year then voulnteered at a animal shelter for two months where I left when I would get so overly emotional hearing about other people social life and relationships I felt like I would start crying there and end up leaving once I went on vacation and was trying to do real estate,I was thinking of doing it again I was going to ask my college professor if I could do something with marine mammals or at a zoo.I am fine with helping people it is just the voulnteers around me upset me I would have no problem doing everything myself.I think myself esteem is so bad or I have so much self hatred when I try things that are good it sometimes make me more upset.I would recommend trying it you may meet some interesting people. thank you for the advice Salparadise.I feel bad being on here like im annoying everyone with my posts.

Donate blood! They will treat you like a hero (you will be) and give you cookies and juice! You're not annoying, SG. So many of us go through the same stuff. I will suggest that you don't have to totally like yourself, but treat yourself like someone you have to live with, so you might as well get to know. Be respectful and you'll find it gets better over time. I think you're pretty likeable.

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Brian, Lauryn, and ScienceGuy, thank you for your supportive responses about my job and for the hugs! Much appreciated!

 

So I really don't know what to do. I want to tell my boss that I am not equipped or trained for the latest task she gave me... I don't know how to even approach it with her.  My mother suggested trying to do it, then asking for help if I can't. I don't know, I wish my job didn't stress me out so much. :/ I'm already stressed about it and I haven't even started working yet.

 

Riv - Without knowing the details, your mother's advice sounds like it might be a good way to go. I wonder if you could just explain to your boss that this is out of your comfort zone but you are working away on it.  That way, he/she doesn't find all that out when the product is due?  (I know it's hard - I literally could not talk to my boss about anything a month ago).

 

As for me, I received a text from a lady I was dating in December.  At the time, it was all going pretty well.  When we were together she would be talking about all the great things we would be doing in the future (near future).  Then, when we were apart, she would pull back.  She did this twice.  The first time she said I needed to get back to work (was off on med. leave).  The second time she just canceled a date and went dark for a month (so did I though, I just wrote her off). I believe she likes me but is disappointed in my financial situation (just the feeling I get).  I know the thing for me to do is ignore the Email and never go back to this again.  But, I am tempted, if only for the prospect of perhaps friends with benefits (to put it bluntly).  I am off the dating site and am looking at a long stretch alone.  It would be nice to have even infrequent contact if that's what she wants as well.  I do like her, but I know relationship is a total no go.  Respond or no, that is the question????

I agree with RiverLight, Brian. Just to see what's up with her. Maybe mention one of the fun things she might have said to you.

Me, I think the FWB thing is difficult--but that's just my opinion. If the 2 of you are up for it though, why not?

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I'm flying very low to the ground and may crash at any second.

 

Sh!t just keeps piling up. Yes, that happens with everyone, but the universe seems to be conspiring to dump a much larger heap of sh!t upon me than usual.

 

And I have a spoon to dig myself out from the tons of sh!t piled on top of me.

 

Sorry to hear it.  I hope you can get out from under it.  (((((((((JD4010)))))))))

 

 

Thanks Lauryn!

 

Hang in there JD!!!

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Brian, Lauryn, and ScienceGuy, thank you for your supportive responses about my job and for the hugs! Much appreciated!

 

So I really don't know what to do. I want to tell my boss that I am not equipped or trained for the latest task she gave me... I don't know how to even approach it with her.  My mother suggested trying to do it, then asking for help if I can't. I don't know, I wish my job didn't stress me out so much. :/ I'm already stressed about it and I haven't even started working yet.

 

I agree with Brian that your mother's advice sounds good.  I wish your boss were an easier person to deal with.

 

(((((hugs)))))

 

Oh, boy, so do I, Lauryn, so do I......  she is the most difficult boss I've ever had to deal with in my entire life. That's for sure. ((((((hugs))))) back! And thanks! =)

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River, just do something manageable like an hour a night and two hours each Sunday. Give yourself one or two days a week off. I did that with writing when I was working.

Thanks so much, Lauryn.... I am trying to do an hour right now and it's so hard. Ugh. I think that's all I can manage during the week. I'm even watching the clock as I listen to these lessons. I'll definitely have to do some on the weekends. Why am I doing this to myself... oh yea, to get a better job & to get away from my horrific tyrant of a boss.

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im feeling pretty good im annoyed my homework has been taking so long I keep getting distracted all day and i take so long to finish something that should take no more then 4 or 5 hours.i stress myself about by not finishing things right away.i have been reading scientific papers about bees and the different strain of diseases that affect colonies,and how in different countries the same types of bees have different immunity to the a different varation of the strain there resistant to.My whole day has been about bee,s lol!!

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