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What Is The Biggest Thing That Depression Has Taken Away From You?


coldestheart

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Everything.

I am at this moment not really depressed but I have that horrible "empty" feeling where I feel disconnected to everything. I don't care for anyone. I have forced myself to go out and do things and I don't feel any better. In fact I feel FAKE. I am going out tonight to see a friends band play but I don't have any will to do this either. At least it's better than staying in, I guess.

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  • 10 months later...

Its taken alot from me also. My motivation, my interests in my hobbies, I was at times witty and funny. The things I once found interesting no longer hold my interest, the movies and shows I found funny are no longer funny. The people who are close to me I push them away, something I don't want to do but it tends to happen. It's taken my pride, my joy. I used to look forward to take my daughter to swimming class and now I don't wanna be bothered. Its taken my ability to hold a conversation, I can't communicate my thought as effiecntly as I was once able to, and it makes me feel even more stupid than already feel. Also, my memory I cant remember s***!

Edited by MightyCrown_1982
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For me my depression has taken away my hope.

I am probably the most synical person that is on the face of the earth. I try to look at every issue from different point of views and mostly end up thinking that there is an alterior motive to everything. I have lost my hope in humanity.

I mean how awful is it that a man can get away with ******ing and molesting a child by saying he was insane? It is gross that to become a celebrety you have to put out a sex tape and to stay popular you have to shave your head and break down.

Not only that but i don't have any hope that my future will turn out anything like i want it to and that i should just give up.

I'm sure i used to have hope and every once in a while something comes along (like J.K. Rowling (SP?) turning the whole worlds children onto reading again only for the books to be made into movies basically defeating their purpose (never read the books or seen the movies)) that makes me think i shouldn't give it up but i never grasp onto it.

So what has depression taken away from you?

My freedom of clear thinking on a continuum and sometimes this makes me very angry but I must deal with it. Frank.
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My childhood.. i don't know what it's like to be happy ... truely happy.

Ditto. What is it like to have friends I wonder. I've never really had any. With codependancy I can't even make the most casual of friendships. It doesn't take long until I distrust them or I make friends with fellow codependants. Once their crisis is gone so am I. I don't count my husband, he and I have never been friends. In 27 years I don't know him, never will.

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I feel like depression has taken my spirit from me. I don't really know who I am anymore. I'm alone and jobless now. The kids come back and forth from their dad's and I try to be upbeat but I Feel So LOST. It's like I can't take the first step to move forward. This post is the most I've written in a year. It's almost like I'm afraid to write my feelings cause then I'd actually address them. ( Hmmmm, I may have just hit on something there) but I still feel like the me I used to be is not able to BE anymore. That makes me so sad!

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  • 2 months later...

Depression has taken everything away from me. My will 2 live,my job, my confidence, self worth, my ability to communicate properly of fear of rejection. My social life. Im a human shell, with not alot of content inside. I feel life is a chore, the only thing that keeps me going is my kids, and supportive partner :hearts:

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Depression and social anxiety together have taken much from me. I've lost the few best friends I've ever had when I've tried to confide in them about my depression. I've never had the opportunity to have many or close friends b/c of my social anxiety and constant fear that everyone hates me. I've never felt any self-worth. I'm always lonely, and I know that I will always be so.

I also fear that depression/anxiety took away my chances of getting into some of the grad schools that rejected me. When I was applying, I felt number than I had ever before. I spent most of my time crying and not caring. I don't even think I tried on most of my applications. I was assured by many professors that I would get into most places to which I'd applied. Well, I didn't. I only got into a few, and a couple of them were good, for which I feel fortunate. But I wonder what could've been if I'd felt differently when filling out the applications. And I'm afraid it could hold me back as I try to become an academic in a field (English) in which there are few job opportunities and many aspirants.

I've never had much of a social life, either. I never fully trust others, and I'm afraid of rejection. So, to sum up, I would say the worst thing that's occurred is that I'm sure that I'll forever be lonely and solitary.

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The ability and strength to take life in stride and deal with adversity. When it hits hard, depression really takes the fight out of me. (As Stephen King wrote, it takes most of the "f*** you" out of you.)

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I've been reading the responses and really thinking about the biggest loss of my life.

I've lost the ability to trust myself. When I'm depressed I'm not thinking rationally. Unfortunately I can no longer tell when I'm playing destructive tapes in my head or when something is genuinely wrong anymore. It's hard to recover from honest criticism because it feels like I'm being beaten down. It's difficult to take praise because praise starts the destructive tapes. Life feels very muddy and the truth is hard to see.

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It's taken away my identity and given me a mask to hide behind. It's fuelled my self-doubt and kept me a child. It's tried to take my life away and I nearly let it. It's a constant battle with my mind, but I will not let it win !!!

:hearts:

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Depression stole me, it stole who I was. I was a sweet, happy go lucky person that was kind to everyone, had no real temper, always a go getter in school with getting A's and trying to learn more about everything. I think the first time I started to feel off was in grade 12, but it really didn't hit me until 2yrs after highschool. It took away my drive for anything, I put off my education for years, withdrawing from classes, failing classes because I wouldn't want to leave my room and face the world. I would cut my arm just to feel something because I felt numb to the world, even worse was that my parents would ask me what was wrong, then want to know but when I told them they just told me to snap out of it and ignored I had a problem. I get it that for them, it's a cultural thing that it's not accepted and that sucks since my mom has Depression and she will never deal with it or accept that she has a problem.

Depression took a lot from me, there are still days where I wish when I am driving that a truck would skip a lane and just hit me head on, so if I die, it's not suicide and my parents still get insurance money, since that's all my dad cares about. He doesn't care that I am dealing with this, he just sees my age, other people my age moving on in life and me still trying to finish school. I am trying to finish school because I need to feel a sense of accomplishment. To finish something I started, no matter how long it takes. I used to be in great shape, very athletic but then I stopped that as well, so not only did I add on weight, it added on to the misery of depression as well. I am still struggling to get back into shape, I try to set small goals but that's hard as well. Very hard.

How's this for a 3rd post. :hearts:

Edited by V_C
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  • 3 months later...

Myself. I am no longer me. I used to still be me when i was younger even with depression. But ever since the big depression hit I have lost myself. I catch myself telling people about myself and it is about the old me, the spontanious, acting/faking happy me. The one I can no longer be.

These lyriks fit depression so well i believ they are from a breakcore artists Ventian Snare and they go as follows:

I used to understand happy, i know that i used to be happy, i was really happy

I'm unhappy now and i can't remember what it's like to be happy, i only remember...i don't remember...

I remember being happy only in comparison to not being happy just what i am now.

I remember being happier

I remember being ...

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I have lost everything that everyone here has said to lose.

But I have also lost my courage to even interact with everyone here who can relate to me more then anyone else in my life.

I lost an hour of my life sitting here typing and deleting three posts, too scared to add them.

I lost 30 minutes staring at this simple finished post and telling myself to just post it and never look back.

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I have lost everything that everyone here has said to lose.

But I have also lost my courage to even interact with everyone here who can relate to me more then anyone else in my life.

I lost an hour of my life sitting here typing and deleting three posts, too scared to add them.

I lost 30 minutes staring at this simple finished post and telling myself to just post it and never look back.

(((((((Ria))))))))))

You didn't lose the time. You used it wisely to work up to doing something quite brave. Not everything feels so easy that it can be done at once. Whenever you feel ready to talk, we'll be here.

PRT xx

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Most of my childhood, friendships, motivation, self esteem

But it has given me new eyes. I can understand people that many others can't. I have opportunities to learn and change in ways many people won't until they reach a midlife crisis.

Depression has taken a lot, but, in the end, I believe it will have had a purpose in my life. I wouldn't change a second of my life thus far. It has brought me somewhere more meaningful.

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