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TheDiamondAge

I'm New And Here's My Introduction

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Hello,

I'm a man living in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

I've been depressive since childhood.  My depression have increased gradually over the years to the point(I'm 39 years old) that I simply do not enjoy but the briefest of moments.  When Obamacare became available I joined the ranks of Medicaid to eventually wade through the prerequisites to see a psychiatrist.  I've since tried eleven different antidepressants.  I'm taking Latuda presently and it's clear that this isn't helping. This according to my psychiatrist is the last antidepressant that we will try.  When I return for my appointment in a couple of weeks I will have expended all of my options for antidepressant medication.  I'm aware then that my medication options will be expended, and I've already lost the hope that was getting me through all the horrible side effects and withdrawl symptoms of the last 3 years.

Obviously(to me) I maintain a strict diet, exercise, and meditate but none of these has improved my depression more than a modicum.  

I could go on a bit more but perhaps this is an appropriate length for an "introduction"

I'm not even sure what I expect to find here. I'm imagining a room(forum) full of people nodding at one another at the horror of mental illness.  Perhaps it will make more sense as I get into the conversations and begin to read what you all have to say.

Thanks,

Aaron. 

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Welcome, Aaron!

 

I certainly hope it'll make more sense to you.  

 

We DO console each other as we each follow our individual paths, but I think there are also helpful tools, links, and suggestions here.

 

Have you thought about getting a second opinion?  Eleven different meds are indeed quite a few, but maybe another psychiatrist has other thoughts?  Will your healthcare pay for therapy/counseling?  ECT?

 

I tried three or four AD's initially, in different combinations, then quit them as the side effects were worse than the meds - the meds provided little improvement (maybe Effexor XR gave me a 5-10% boost in mood/attitude) and I felt the lethargy and sexual dysfunction were worse than the disease.  Several years later (2010, I believe) a new psychiatrist convinced me to try EMSAM.  After I'd ramped up to the full dose, and stayed there for about three weeks, I experienced a revolutionary change.  My depression was gone!  To make a long story short, it wore off after a few months, and (shame on me!) I took myself off meds, rather than report back to see what might be changed up.  But it was enough of a change to tell me that 1) depression is a real disease - a change in brain chemistry - and not just a mood or whatever else the naysayers call it, and 2) I could be cured.  Or gone into remission.  Or whatever.  "Wow, THIS is how normal people feel!"

 

Sorry you're going through such a struggle.  I hope you find help.

 

(Have you tried/had any mindfulness training, Aaron?)

 

Best regards.

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Hi TheDiamondAge and welcome to DF   :welcomeani: 

 

Well all members of DF are spread all over the world and we all log into this site to support others or to seek support. There are no buildings just a whole load of people like you typing on their computers online.

 

You seem to be resistant to medication for some reason, and there might still be an effective treatment plan that does not need traditional ADs.  Some people can get themselves better with a combination of Healthy Living, exercise, diet and a very positive and determined attitude and therapy. Most people come out of depression at some stage .

 

I do hope that you will eventually be able to get yourself out of depression with the help of your mental health professionals and your determination.

 

Best Wishes

 

Jim Bow

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Welcome to DF, thediamondage!  :hugs:   Please don't let yourself give up. I think Ratboy has a really good point about getting second opinions.  I know it's discouraging to say the least to have med after med not work out.  I think a second opinion would be worthwhile at this point.

 

Therapy can also be very helpful, because there can be many forms of faulty thinking that exacerbate depression and anxiety. 

 

And don't underestimate the value of that supposed 'roomful' of people who can understand some of what you're going through.  Most of us live with family, friends, or coworkers who not only are ignorant of depression, but openly ridicule, abuse, or belittle us for struggling with it. 

 

I hope you find the encouragement and support here on DF that you need and deserve.

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Hi Aaron. I don't know how funding for therapy works in the states, but have you tried speaking to a therapist? I found I had to both take celexa and be in therapy for a while, before I saw improvement.

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hello,my name is keith and im from Syracuse new York.im not the best typer so bear with me.ive never been in a foroum for depression.ive been fighting depression for 15 years or more.ive been on every med that you can think of.nothing seems to work for me.ive been threw ect treatments and they didn't work either.nobody in my family understands depression.im lock in my own little world of fear and sadness and worryetc etc.im glad to have people listen to me.thank you

 

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hello,my name is keith and im from Syracuse new York.im not the best typer so bear with me.ive never been in a foroum for depression.ive been fighting depression for 15 years or more.ive been on every med that you can think of.nothing seems to work for me.ive been threw ect treatments and they didn't work either.nobody in my family understands depression.im lock in my own little world of fear and sadness and worryetc etc.im glad to have people listen to me.thank you

 

Welcome to DF, Keith :flowers: I'm really sorry you've been fighting depression for so long, but glad that you found us. The community here is warm, welcoming, and full of information. For me, it's nice to just talk to people who "get it" and have a place to vent - it's comforting. I hope the site can do the same for you.

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