Jump to content

Experiences With Therapists


Recommended Posts

Today I had a phone call with a woman who is going to arrange a meeting with my new therapist but to be honest I'm not feeling hopeful about it. The last two therapists I've had haven't helped me in the slightest and I've only gone downhill since then.

  The first one got obsessed over the fact I had a physical illness when I was younger and believed all my problems were to do with that illness and dismissed me when I said I didn't think it was (I know it wasn't to do with it because I actually dealt with that illness well and, although I admit it probably made things worse, it didn't cause my problems.) Then my second therapist I still see now (she's more of a counsellor I think? I'm not sure what her official title is...) has no useful advice. I told her my panic attacks are getting worse both mentally and physically, I need coping mechanisms, I even admitted I felt the need to self-harm sometimes and all she said was 'but what if you didn't get anxious? why don't you have a day of not being anxious?' 

  It actually upset me because I obviously would have tried that if it worked and all my problems would be solved haha. Maybe my new one will be better anyway because I'm in a high risk category now and I'm being more honest I guess about what I'm really thinking all the time. Anyway, does anyone have any actual good experiences with therapists? Any coping mechanisms (especially with school and social environments)? Thanks!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Chloebronte33 and welcome to the Forums.

 

I am so sorry you have had less that optimum experiences with therapists, to put it mildly!  I must confess to having had both beneficial and non-beneficial experiences in face-to-face therapy.  I think, like in every other area of life, that some people are better at things than others or better at being particularly helpful to certain people than others are.  Sadly, empathy and compassion are not usually courses taught at universities and I am not sure they can be taught at all.  Hopefully your new therapist will be more helpful to you than the others.  It is frustrating to not get help when one needs it most.  Depression, anxiety and other illnesses can be brutal too!

 

You mention coping mechanisms.  What specifically are you seeking to cope with?  I was taught some coping methods for certain situations and I would be happy to share what works for me although I don't know if they would work for you and I am certainly no authority on the subject!  I am really sorry you are suffering!

 

Sincerely,  Epictetus

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Chloebronte33 and welcome to the Forums.

 

I am so sorry you have had less that optimum experiences with therapists, to put it mildly!  I must confess to having had both beneficial and non-beneficial experiences in face-to-face therapy.  I think, like in every other area of life, that some people are better at things than others or better at being particularly helpful to certain people than others are.  Sadly, empathy and compassion are not usually courses taught at universities and I am not sure they can be taught at all.  Hopefully your new therapist will be more helpful to you than the others.  It is frustrating to not get help when one needs it most.  Depression, anxiety and other illnesses can be brutal too!

 

You mention coping mechanisms.  What specifically are you seeking to cope with?  I was taught some coping methods for certain situations and I would be happy to share what works for me although I don't know if they would work for you and I am certainly no authority on the subject!  I am really sorry you are suffering!

 

Sincerely,  Epictetus

Oops, I forgot to mention what actually makes me anxious haha. It's the thought of quiet or crowded rooms or both mixed together. I can't go to meetings or assemblies because I will immediately get a panic attack but it's started happening in a lot of my classrooms as well to the point where I don't go to lessons a lot of the time. Thanks for the reply!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have had similar experiences with therapists... they either want to focus on your past and blame it for the present, or they try to get you to "think positively" in order to avoid your illness (anxiety, depression, etc.). I have had a lot of therapists do more harm than good.

 

My advice would be to seek out a counselor/therapist who is trained in CBT... Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This particular type of therapy helps treat your current issues by teaching you coping techniques and other useful strategies that are more tailored to your specific needs.

 

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

-Deb

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Chloe,

 

Searching for a good therapist is like looking for a good doctor. If you aren't happy with one, you move on and find one that you will be happy with and who will meet your needs. Unfortunately, finding a good therapist might take time. I hope with this new therapist that they would be helpful for you. Deb mentioned CBT and that is a great idea. CBT will help you work on the issues you have in a manner that is useful for you.

 

Best  Wishes,

 

Browneyed_gal61

Link to comment
Share on other sites

so sorry you had such a bad experiences! 

 

I've been very lucky with my past two therapists--they are both just the right mix of empathic and straightforward for me. In contrast, when I talk to my spouse about my therapist's style, she feels that it would be the worst thing for her. She doesn't respond well to the straightforward part and responds better to empathy.

 

Regarding possible strategies for your panic attacks, you may want to look into grounding techniques and DBT. I've used a lot of grounding work (visualization, focusing on present, acknowledging physical responses to triggers) for ptsd and found it super helpful. The DBT stuff works pretty well for self-harm issues, too. There are tons of books and workbooks for these kinds of ptsd treatments--not sure if it would help you, but might be worth a shot.

 

Hopefully, your next therapist will listen to what is going on and what you want to get out of therapy! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today I had a phone call with a woman who is going to arrange a meeting with my new therapist but to be honest I'm not feeling hopeful about it. The last two therapists I've had haven't helped me in the slightest and I've only gone downhill since then.

  The first one got obsessed over the fact I had a physical illness when I was younger and believed all my problems were to do with that illness and dismissed me when I said I didn't think it was (I know it wasn't to do with it because I actually dealt with that illness well and, although I admit it probably made things worse, it didn't cause my problems.) Then my second therapist I still see now (she's more of a counsellor I think? I'm not sure what her official title is...) has no useful advice. I told her my panic attacks are getting worse both mentally and physically, I need coping mechanisms, I even admitted I felt the need to self-harm sometimes and all she said was 'but what if you didn't get anxious? why don't you have a day of not being anxious?' 

  It actually upset me because I obviously would have tried that if it worked and all my problems would be solved haha. Maybe my new one will be better anyway because I'm in a high risk category now and I'm being more honest I guess about what I'm really thinking all the time. Anyway, does anyone have any actual good experiences with therapists? Any coping mechanisms (especially with school and social environments)? Thanks!

Ugh I am sorry you had this experience. In both cases they sound very unhelpful and frankly not very competent. "why don't you have a day of not being anxious"... geez this person really should not be in that profession.

hugs to you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...